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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mom is on hospice, and I honestly believe that I’m doing this because God continues to give me the strength to do it.. it’s not easy it’s actually very difficult, but my mom is love.. ❤️ thank you for your reply
It will not be different if mom were in a rehab, a hospital, someone else's home watching someone die is difficult. Use this time to talk to her. Tell her that you are going to be alright. Tell her thank you for all that you have taught me. You obviously had a mom that was good. I read posts here all the time and many did not have that so you are one of the lucky ones. Hospice can help you prepare for what is to come. They can let you know what the signs of End of Life are but I can tell you from experience it probably will not help in the moment. When caring for my Husband I thought I was prepared, I had watched him decline for 12 years, he was on Hospice almost 3 years. But the morning he died I felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it. A week or so before he died I was sitting telling him that I was going to be alright, that I was going to miss him, that I loved him and it suddenly hit me...It was all "I" I was going to miss him, I was going to be alright. I thought wanting him to stay was unfair to him, he would not have wanted to continue to survive this way (I do not want to use the word "live" because he was not "living" he was a shell of what he was) My tears were selfish ones.
Someone on this site quite a while ago mentioned Hospice Nurse Julie. I have seen her on Facebook and YouTube and she is very honest and direct and down to earth. She has a lot of good information and advice you might want to check YouTube and listen to some of the things she has to say.
Use this time to talk, to spend time. It hurts.
2 things I have hanging by my desk. Grief never ends But it changes It is a passage, not a place to stay Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith It is the price of love
and
Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth can't explain how broken your heart is.
Thank you so much for your reply. No one prepared me for this. I am completely exhausted 😩. And it just feel like I’m not doing enough for my mom. Yet I’m thankful that I’m here for her.
I will say, just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her, as only God knows that day and time that he will call her Home. Being under hospice care doesn't mean that someone is going to die soon. My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and like Grandma1954 said below her husband was under their care for almost 3 years. Your moms hospice nurse should be able to give you an idea of what lies ahead, though I can tell you from experience that even hospice gets it wrong sometimes. And if things get to be just too much for you, at the end of her life you can have your mom transferred to the hospice home(which is what MeDolly was referring to below)where they will take great care of her until the end. And the nice thing with that is that it too is covered 100% under moms Medicare if she dies within the week or so. Otherwise you have to pay out of pocket for her to stay there. How blessed you are to have a mom that you love so and that loves you back. Not all of us have been so fortunate. So again just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her and leave nothing left unsaid. God bless you.
@lilmama70 You can ask a Volunteer to come in as well. Volunteers can sit with mom while you take a break. Most Volunteers will be more than happy to sit with you and talk to you as well. YOU are just as important to the Hospice Team as your mom. And There are specially trained Vigil Volunteers that can sit with you and mom at End of Life so that you are not alone with her. Typically a Vigil Volunteer will stay 3 to 4 hours and another Volunteer will come and take that one's place. Quite often they will be with someone that is in a Facility and there is no family but they will come to a home as well. This is a frightening time and having all the support you need or want is the goal.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I know that I could not deal with it.
Take care of you, sending you best wishes.
thank you for your reply
Use this time to talk to her.
Tell her that you are going to be alright.
Tell her thank you for all that you have taught me.
You obviously had a mom that was good. I read posts here all the time and many did not have that so you are one of the lucky ones.
Hospice can help you prepare for what is to come. They can let you know what the signs of End of Life are but I can tell you from experience it probably will not help in the moment.
When caring for my Husband I thought I was prepared, I had watched him decline for 12 years, he was on Hospice almost 3 years. But the morning he died I felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it.
A week or so before he died I was sitting telling him that I was going to be alright, that I was going to miss him, that I loved him and it suddenly hit me...It was all "I" I was going to miss him, I was going to be alright. I thought wanting him to stay was unfair to him, he would not have wanted to continue to survive this way (I do not want to use the word "live" because he was not "living" he was a shell of what he was)
My tears were selfish ones.
Someone on this site quite a while ago mentioned Hospice Nurse Julie. I have seen her on Facebook and YouTube and she is very honest and direct and down to earth. She has a lot of good information and advice you might want to check YouTube and listen to some of the things she has to say.
Use this time to talk, to spend time. It hurts.
2 things I have hanging by my desk.
Grief never ends
But it changes
It is a passage, not a place to stay
Grief is not a sign of weakness
nor a lack of faith
It is the price of love
and
Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth
can't explain how broken your heart is.
You are not alone ((hugs))
Being under hospice care doesn't mean that someone is going to die soon. My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and like Grandma1954 said below her husband was under their care for almost 3 years.
Your moms hospice nurse should be able to give you an idea of what lies ahead, though I can tell you from experience that even hospice gets it wrong sometimes.
And if things get to be just too much for you, at the end of her life you can have your mom transferred to the hospice home(which is what MeDolly was referring to below)where they will take great care of her until the end. And the nice thing with that is that it too is covered 100% under moms Medicare if she dies within the week or so. Otherwise you have to pay out of pocket for her to stay there.
How blessed you are to have a mom that you love so and that loves you back. Not all of us have been so fortunate.
So again just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her and leave nothing left unsaid.
God bless you.
You can ask a Volunteer to come in as well.
Volunteers can sit with mom while you take a break. Most Volunteers will be more than happy to sit with you and talk to you as well. YOU are just as important to the Hospice Team as your mom.
And There are specially trained Vigil Volunteers that can sit with you and mom at End of Life so that you are not alone with her. Typically a Vigil Volunteer will stay 3 to 4 hours and another Volunteer will come and take that one's place. Quite often they will be with someone that is in a Facility and there is no family but they will come to a home as well.
This is a frightening time and having all the support you need or want is the goal.