My mom is 85 years old and not only has dementia, but has CHG. Her husband is 88 years old and has cancer. My mom can’t do much for herself anymore, so her husband is her full time caregiver. He complains that he’s tired, but refuses assistance from outside help. I try to help making sure they have food and I sit with her when he has appointments etc. However, I have a 7 year old that I am raising and she needs her time. I would love for my mom to live with me, but I think he would rather her go to a facility than to let that happen.
He also fails to really understand dementia and takes her stubbornness personally. He laughs and makes fun of some of things she does, which is very demeaning. I just want her to be happy during her last years. What can I do to help her?
If they have no money, Medicaid will pay. If they have assets, they can be split, her split going to her care. When almost gone, Medicaid is applied for.
Does her husband have kids of his own? If so, maybe time for them to take over Dads care. If you had no relationship with him, you should not be the one worrying about him.
Do you have POA for Mom? If you do you can place her. If not, I would call APS and have them evaluate the situation. Maybe the State can take over his care and Moms too if you don't have POA.