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So I have a husband and it is very stressful for the marriage and for me. This is too much for me to do on my own.

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I took care of my 93 year old mom for 5 years. It also became overwhelming and stressful for my family. I made the decision to place her in an assisted living facility. She has been there 5 weeks and is adjusting. There are certainly still some things to figure out but my life is better. I am not as stressed. I visit every day and those visits are more mother/daughter visits than my constant caregiving task driven efforts. I will tell you that it was incredibly hard to do. I have never been so emotional. Once through the transition, you will find a good balance for you, your family and your mom. Best of luck to you.
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You’ve reached out here because you know this level of caregiving has become too much to sustain on your own. Please don’t choose to lose your own health or relationships to continue in this role. Time for an honest family discussion and looking into alternative living arrangements for mom. She’ll have her daughter back as a rested, unstressed caregiver who oversees her care rather than one who provides it around the clock. I wish you the best
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It is clearly time for placement for Mom in this case. Sit with hubby and Mom and figure out options and best steps forward.
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So now is the time to think about alternative care options for mom, before your marriage is destroyed and/or your health is destroyed trying to care for her!! How about Assisted Living? My mother thrived in AL for a good long time before she had to go into Memory Care. She had a full life in AL with all the activities and other elders to hob-nob with all day long!

Look into it BEFORE you break down and/or before the relationship with mom is harmed beyond repair. Oftentimes, AL can save your marriage, your life AND your relationship with your mom, all at the same time. Please don't allow 'guilt' to creep into the decision making process, either. 3 years is a very long time to have devoted to in home care. My hat is off to you for all you've done for your mom.

GOOD LUCK!
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