My mom is either a narcissist or has some sort of mental illness. She constantly harasses me. Today she called me on the phone four times after I specifically told her to leave me alone after she went on a political rant about covid and I hung up the phone on her.
She has a bad back and diabetes and she wants me to be her slave and do all the work in the house. She won’t even pitch in and do 50% of it even though she is well enough to do it.
I have thought about getting her a nurse to take care of her, but she will just abuse the nurse as well, so I don’t see a point in even bothering, especially when with insurance premiums it would likely be very expensive.
I have absolutely no family. I’m the literal black sheep as they are all toxic people. I have barely any friends and can’t provide for myself well due to trauma, guilt, and years of abuse.
I am at my wits end and do not know what to do. She won’t even allow me to be an adult and live a life.
But I think your last sentence is at the root of the problem. "She won't even ALLOW me..." (emphasis added).
As you know, you are an adult, and she does not get to make decisions for you. OF course she can be impossible and make you feel like you HAVE to do what she says. Or else. But, you CAN and should IMHO, do some quick research on boundaries and start setting some today. You get to decide what you are going to do or not do for her. And when.
She is going to be mad. Be ready for that. Be strong. Put YOU first, for a change. You deserve it.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-mom-has-diabetes-narcissism-and-ocpd-how-to-deal-with-469138.htm?orderby=recent
Have you taken any of the advice you were given? If not, why not?
Wishing you the best of luck becoming the adult you wish to be