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I don't have any great answers for you, just a "virtual" hug. It's frightening so take it a minute at a time right now. Call the hospice nurse and advise about the latest developments. If you can't do this alone, ask if they can send an aide or if you mom qualifies for in-patient hospice care. Good luck; you'll see her through.
Thank you for the virtual hug oh i sure Needed it. My heart is shattered in a million pieces. She’s my momma hit she’s also my best friend. She’s my travel partner and she’s been my roommate since daddy passed away. So to even imagine a day without her is so frightening
Ask Hospice if they have grief counseling you can take advantage of. You have been grieving for the last 6 months. But you seem to be having a problem with excepting the inevitable.
People are put on Hospice because they are terminal expected to pass within 6 months. Things can happen overnight. The Nurse is trying to tell you the end is coming. Its going to be hard but you have to except it for Moms sake. You need to be able to tell her its OK to go. Of course your anxious. No one wants to lose a LO. Try to look at it as Mom will no longer be in pain.
That’s probably a good idea that i get some grief counseling. There’s never been a day i have not seen my momma unless i was Out of town a few days. Even then multiple calls a day. I feel like Im losing my mind. Literally. I lost My daddy almost 5 years ago to cancer. Now my momma. I have Great parents both are great have been great parents! I’m 54 years old and i cannot Seem to accept she’s dying. Of course being in the house with her day n and day out since July has been hard!!! She was diagnosed June 7 2020 with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and I’ve watched my momma give the biggest fight of her life since then. Especially these past few weeks. Nurse came by earlier. Her vitals had stabled. Her BP drops immensely then back to normal. I’m on edge. I’m mad. I’m scared. I do Not want her to suffer but i do Not want to let her go. The nurse suggested a liquid med called haldol today in the hospice emergency kit to help settle down her aggitation and anxiety. But they have been doing Xanax for anxiety. I feel like all of these meds combined are snowing her. Yes, she’s resting better now, sleeping good. But is this how it will be till she takes her last breath is what i ask Myself. Her nurse has been AMAZING. And God knows she’s sure been comforting to me. I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m praying and i know That’s all i can Do. My mind knows what’s gonna happen very soon… but my heart just is having a hard time excepting.
lastly, joining this group the past couple days and just talking to others has given me soMe comfort. It’s talks that i need To have, but can’t have with my brothers because they are having a hard time with this too. But i feel I’m having a harder time, you see, i feel I have To be strong for them. But who will be strong for me? thank you for your kind words. God bless you
Are you saying she's been on hospice for 6 months? And now having trouble getting out of bed? From cancer?
If this is so, yes, this is scary. I'm not sure what your questions are. But if on cancer hospice for 6 months, I do not find it to be terribly surprising that she is declining to this.
I would just make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Let the morphine flow. If she needs to be in bed to safe and comfortable, then so be it. I would not fight it. I would think that there is little hope of her recovering so find ways to keep your sanity and deal with this loss.
Yes. She’s been on in home hospice now for almost 6 months. Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. I have Been home with her now day in and day out since July 30th. Seems the past two weeks have gotton worse. Nurse says vitals are holding steady considering but tells me to keep close eye on them and calm her if i need Too. She’s been great about helping and coming when needed. The nurse talked to us about a month ago said she’s progressing quickly- and recommended if i could- to take a leave of absence to be home with her in her final days. Things just become more scarey daily. I keep Her as comfortable as i can And administer the meds as nurse says. She’s in bed more than she’s up but when she is up she moves around OK with my help. This morning for the first time she started talking about precious loved ones who had passed and my daddy and about her childhood. That’s what set a red flag for me. Now, she did need assistance getting up this morning and was harder for her to walk than normally been being but her reminiscing is what scared me. Her BP was 92/52 this morning but had gotton back to normal by time the nurse arrived. I’m just a basket case, to be honest. I know Her time is very near and my heart races with anxiety and fear of knowing i will Lose her
I agree that we need to know if her cancer is interfering with her inability to get out of bed. What kind of cancer is it, and where? Is it affecting her ability to stand and move around? Has it metastasized to her spinal cord and is it affecting her ability to stand?
What do her hospice nurse and doctor say about the situation, and/or possible coping methods?
Depending on her situation, and specifically whether she's able to stand if she can get out of bed, there might be a couple of options, but I don't know if they would be made available given the fact that she's in hospice.
One is a device like an upside-down horse shoe with extended side arms and a piece that fits underneath a mattress. Someone holds onto it and pushes up to get up. It doesn't provide stability for both sides of the body though. And the patient's legs needs to strong enough for standing.
The other is a trapeze; my father had one during one of his hospital stays, I think for one of his hip fractures. It's attached to the ceiling with a pull down rope with a handle, or something similar. The patient reaches up, pulls it down, and holds onto it while getting out of bed. But there also needs to be a walker or wheelchair immediately available, depending on the individual's ability to stand.
Yes, im certain the cancer is interfering. I guess I was asking if anyone had experienced last days of life with a loved one. I am Probably not making much sense. I’m new to this forum a d just looking for some support i guess
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
oh i sure Needed it. My heart is shattered in a million pieces. She’s my
momma hit she’s also my best friend. She’s my travel partner and she’s been my roommate since daddy passed away. So to even imagine a day without her is so frightening
People are put on Hospice because they are terminal expected to pass within 6 months. Things can happen overnight. The Nurse is trying to tell you the end is coming. Its going to be hard but you have to except it for Moms sake. You need to be able to tell her its OK to go. Of course your anxious. No one wants to lose a LO. Try to look at it as Mom will no longer be in pain.
like Im
losing my mind. Literally. I lost My daddy almost 5 years ago to cancer. Now my
momma. I have Great parents both are great have been great parents! I’m 54 years old and i cannot Seem to accept she’s dying. Of course being in the house with her day n and day out since July has been hard!!! She was diagnosed June 7 2020 with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and I’ve watched my momma give the biggest fight of her life since then. Especially these past few weeks. Nurse came by earlier. Her vitals had stabled. Her BP drops immensely then back to normal. I’m on edge. I’m mad. I’m scared. I do Not want her to suffer but i do Not want to let her go. The nurse suggested a liquid med called haldol today in the hospice emergency kit to help settle down her aggitation and anxiety. But they have been doing Xanax for anxiety. I feel like all of these meds combined are snowing her. Yes, she’s resting better now, sleeping good. But is this how it will be till she takes her last breath is what i ask Myself. Her nurse has been AMAZING. And God knows she’s sure been comforting to me. I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m praying and i know That’s all i can Do. My mind knows what’s gonna happen very soon…
but my heart just is having a hard time excepting.
lastly, joining this group the past couple days and just talking to others has given me soMe comfort. It’s talks that i need To have, but can’t have with my brothers because they are having a hard time with this too. But i feel I’m having a harder time, you see, i feel I have To be strong for them. But who will be strong for me?
thank you for your kind words. God bless you
If this is so, yes, this is scary. I'm not sure what your questions are. But if on cancer hospice for 6 months, I do not find it to be terribly surprising that she is declining to this.
I would just make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Let the morphine flow. If she needs to be in bed to safe and comfortable, then so be it. I would not fight it. I would think that there is little hope of her recovering so find ways to keep your sanity and deal with this loss.
So sorry that this is your current situation.
What do her hospice nurse and doctor say about the situation, and/or possible coping methods?
Depending on her situation, and specifically whether she's able to stand if she can get out of bed, there might be a couple of options, but I don't know if they would be made available given the fact that she's in hospice.
One is a device like an upside-down horse shoe with extended side arms and a piece that fits underneath a mattress. Someone holds onto it and pushes up to get up. It doesn't provide stability for both sides of the body though. And the patient's legs needs to strong enough for standing.
The other is a trapeze; my father had one during one of his hospital stays, I think for one of his hip fractures. It's attached to the ceiling with a pull down rope with a handle, or something similar. The patient reaches up, pulls it down, and holds onto it while getting out of bed. But there also needs to be a walker or wheelchair immediately available, depending on the individual's ability to stand.
certain the cancer is interfering. I guess I was asking if anyone had experienced last days of life with a loved one. I am Probably not making much sense. I’m new to this forum a d just looking for some support i guess