Time I worked as RN she helped with daughters care during those hours now she is still active butto me she is very mess down grading (I had a problem with prescription pills that had long sense past) however I still am a drug addict and she reminds me of that daily I care for my daughter and what ever she ask for at home I love my mom but can’t take this her constant down grading while my sister is perfect how do I cope I need help she will not accept help she thinks she is well and fine
We need a lot more information from you.
First I will just tell you that your post to us here is lacking in punctuation, spelling and wording coherence. This makes me concerned we are missing information. You are an RN so I know that in normal circumstances you would be able to write us a more coherent note.
I have some questions for you.
Are you working?
Do you live with your mother and for how many years if you do?
Does your mother own her own home?
How old is your daughter?
What exactly is your daughter's disability?
Did you maintain your license or did you lose it due to addiction?
Are you currently using. If not, how long have you been clean?
Are you POA?
Do you and Mom have a contract for shared living expenses?
Does your sister have POA?
Are you on disability or currently working?
I would say in a family with tortured family dynamics that the best place for you to be is on your own in your own home or apartment with your own daughter and with your own job. I would suggest it is best that you have nothing to do with sister, and if Mom is currently well and able that you not visit your mother while your sister is present.
Short of knowing a lot of details here I can only wish you the very best of luck.
I agree about Badgirl's lack of spelling, punctuation and grammar.
The heading makes it sound as if the OP moved in with her sister; however the extra information makes it clear that it is the mother who is degrading her. It isn't her sister abusing her, but she is being constantly compared to her sister, who is perfect in contrast.
Does your mom have dementia, or other health issues?
More information about your mom would be helpful.
Do you have anyplace else to go, what are your plans for the future
Not sure what to say. Its Moms house, Moms rules. All I can say is you need to move out.
I don't know how long you have lived with your mum, how much money you have put into looking after her home, or whether you are working now, so I don't know how easy it will be for you to move out. But that's what you need to do.
The best option is for you to leave and make a home for yourself and your daughter. You need to take care of the both of you, which means staying off the drugs. That will be more difficult when you are on the receiving end of abuse.
If that is not possible because of your personal and financial circumstances, then you have to start standing up to your mum.
That doesn't mean shouting or arguing; it means calmly stating that you do not want (or deserve) to be spoken to like that, or that you are not going to listen to her speaking like that, or that you will resume a conversation when your mum has thought about her actions and wants to speak respectfully to you. Then, walk away.
If you can't, such as when you're in the middle of making dinner, turn your back on her. If she persists, talk to your daughter, to yourself, or even hum a tune.
You need to become a broken record. When your mum starts on her repetitive theme (you're a drug addict, I had to look after your daughter, you're not as good as your sister) you repeat - "I'm not listening to abuse", or, "I'm worth better", or, "talk to me when you're in a better frame of mind/ when you can be respectful/ when you have calmed down".
This only works if you stay calm. You have to learn to block her out.
Finally, if this is a sudden change in her personality, try and get your sister on board and get her checked out. This could be part of dementia.
My mum remembers a couple of incidents, such as when I was a single mum and needed to borrow money to pay utilities. From this, she thinks that I am completely irresponsible. I went to college and university when my child went to school, and I'm now a teacher, in very different circumstances. But that's not how my mum always sees me. I know it's because of her dementia, yet I was upset when she said she didn't trust me to be her POA.
Do what you can to keep yourself well, so you can be a good mum and live a good life. Your mum doesn't define you.