My dad claims she’s still taking the first medication given. She is getting worse by the day but he won’t force her to go back to the Dr and we’re not allowed to talk about the diagnosis in front of her because she gets very mad. I guess my question is, is there anything I can do? My dad has told me to basically mind my own business when my sister and I offer suggestions. He’s suffering but just will not do anything about the situation.
Just to give you another point of view, if I, myself, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I know what the future will be like: years and years of suffering and decline and loss of independence and dignity (being bedridden, having someone clean my behind and spoon feed me, being locked up in some horrible nursing home, forgetting who is who, etc.,) I would not take any medication, because I want the end to come soon. I don't want to suffer or make my children suffer.
I am not suggesting that your mother intentionally stops taking med for the reasons I stated for myself. It could be that she is in denial. I just wanted to tell you what I would do for myself and I don't think it's a bad way to handle it.
Often drugs that weren't developed to treat dementia are used to manage symptoms. For example, an antidepressant might be prescribed for a dementia patient who is depressed. It is the same drug that huge numbers of other people take. It is not specific to people with dementia.
The benefit of your mother going back to a doctor is that there may be some treatments that would make her feel better -- less anxious, for example. There is nothing to be done to cure the dementia or extend or shorten her life span.
My husband fell down again and again. His nuero doc said it sounded like he was having narcoleptic-type episodes. He treated him with that drug (had to persuade the insurance company) and the falling stopped! Miracle!
What can you do? Nothing. This is up to your mother and dad. Denial is a perfectly legitimate coping mechanism. Don't take that away without giving something in its place.
If Mom develops a new symptom that Dad is worried about you could suggest she a doctor for that symptom -- NOT for dementia. If she agrees to go, get a note to the doctor ahead of time that she has dementia but is in denial.
My mother had symptoms of medicine reaction and over medication. I made an appointment for the doctor to go over the meds and see what might need changing. The night before the appointment, she called me to tell me not to bother as she had cancelled the appointment. I wasn't surprised and told her so. If she expected me to beg, she was sadly mistaken. I do believe in 'free choice' - sadly, her decision was to stop everything and tell no one. Not the best solution as 6 months later she went critical and nothing could be done. But it was her choice to make.
BTW, my dad never told us how bad she was getting - we learned a few things after the fact. But he too had extreme health issues so I didn't blame him. Besides, just like your father, he was trying to not rock the boat with Mom. I assisted him with living for another 7-1/2 years.
Prescribing medications for the sick and elderly and frail typically requires walking a fine line.
Perhaps your father fears the side effects of the drugs and would prefer she live longer, even with her Alzheimers.
No, there is nothing you can do, if your father is of sound mind. As her spouse, his decisions, take precedence.
Sorry you are dealing with this complex situation.
you are w them. She may not be at that stage yet but will be. Our only reason for doc once a year is to sign LTC requirments. Could be for UTI, depression or falling, etc. Just do fun things w her now before you can't & don't bring up the bad. Always dwell on the fun times together as it could help dad too. Go to support group & spill your gut out. All there understand. You could pay for a counselor if group sharing hurts. Men may need that more. We have several men in support who started out in denial but few times w group came to realization. It is not the same husband/wife vs daughter/mom feelings. That's ok but that's why dad & you may not be on same page. Read all you can Alz Reading Room, Understanding the Dementia Experience, Teepa Snow. So many helps out there. Most of all remember there are 2 worlds. Your world you can chg things but in mom's world things cannot be chgd so accept it & move on w love & security she needs.
Not only that, but a diagnosis of Alzheimer's doesn't necessarily mean that your mom has Alzheimer's. There are a variety of reasons that someone could have dementia. Unfortunately, it's not always possible to figure out what form of dementia a person has without doing an autopsy.
Is your mom on a low fat , high sugar, high carbohydrate diet? If so, your mom could have type 3 diabetes, which causes symptoms similar to Alzheimer's due to insulin resistance in the brain. As we get older, we tend to need less sugar and more fat. About 70% of the brain is made of fat. A person needs good fat, such as avocado oil and coconut oil, to maintain brain functioning. Bad fat will merely increase body fat.
Does your mom suffer from other autoimmune conditions or has she ever suffered brain trauma? If so, she could be suffering from inflammation in the brain, which typically results in brain fog. Curcumin/turmeric and fish oil supplements can help reduce inflammation in the brain.
alz.org/alzheimers_disease_standard_prescriptions.asp
medicinenet.com/cholinesterase_inhibitors/article.htm#what_are_the_side_effects_of_cholinterase_inhibitors
medicinenet.com/memantine-oral/article.htm
sunriseseniorliving.com/blog/january-2018/could-alzheimers-really-be-type-3-diabetes.aspx
fda.gov/drugs/resourcesforyou/ucm163354.htm
May God give you strength and courage to walk this journey.
Hugs 2 u and your sister for caring enough to want to help your parents.
Our parents Don't like being told what to do by their children. You can suggest that's about it. You just have to let them alone until it gets to the point someone has to take over. POA needs to be gotten for the future. Too late for Mom and Dad to get on each other. Mom can't assign Dad with ALZ and Dad assigning Mom, can't she has ALZ. Too late for you getting one on Mom but maybe for Dad.
Maybe Dad will let you help. Like cleaning etc. Then you can keep up with what is going on. My Mom loved her neurologist. Never had a problem getting her there.
1. Nutritional imbalances and deficiencies.
In particular, vitamin D and folate (vitamin B9) deficiencies.
2. Artificial food colors, flavors, and sweeteners.
Including aspartame.
3. Prescription medication side effects.
Including statin and ambien.
4. Inflammation from low-level infections, mold, food allergies, and Lyme Disease.
5. Stress and stagnation/inactivity.
6. Thyroid and other hormonal imbalances.
In particular, low levels of T3 thyroid hormone.
7. Mercury and other heavy metal poisoning.
Most medical doctors are trained in diagnosing and prescribing medications and performing surgery. (And Alzheimer's is often misdiagnosed.) Their training usually doesn't include getting an in-depth history of the patient and making sure the patient gets comprehensive testing. They receive little to no training in finding the root causes of diseases. They also receive little to no training in healthy living, including nutrition.
Functional doctors look at the patient as a whole and typically do comprehensive testing to try to establish the root causes of diseases, but the field of functional medicine is relatively new. There doesn't seem to be any standards. Thus, finding a good functional doctor in your area may take time.
webmd.com/alzheimers/news/20110223/alzheimers-disease-may-be-misdiagnosed
The UCLA Protocol for Alzheimer's:
buckinstitute.org/buck-news/Memory-loss-associated-with-Alzheimers-reversed
It might be good to show your parents evidence-based information.
Speaking to someone, like a therapist is prob my best route.
Again, I really appreciate you all taking the time to give me suppprt and advice.
When you are with Mom get out the old photo albums and talk about the people and places. Does Mom like puzzles, my mother, aunt & I could spend hours on a puzzle or a game of gin rummy. Was there a favorite dish Mom made that if she is up to it you can have her teach you how she made it? What were some of her favorite bands or music type, find them and play them for her.
I know it's hard to see the changes, just think how hard it is for Dad to see her struggle too. She has made her decision about her care. The hardest thing I've ever done was let my mother make the decision to go on comfort care and watch her struggle through those last few weeks.