We are moving her to memory care next week. She is not able to take a cat with her. 2 questions- is it cruel to have him euthanized & and what should we tell her? Do you think giving her a robot cat that is designed for dementia patients a good idea?
My suggestion is that you tell your mom that the cat passed away. If you think your mom would disapprove of euthanasia, I think it's okay to not tell her the manner of death.
Tell mom "Mr. Peepers" is sick and has to go to the vet. Tell her he may have to stay there a while.
Once she is in MC IF she asks about the cat tell her ONCE that "Mr. Peepers" died.
Gauge her reaction. If it upsets her do not tell her again if she asks. Just say "Mr. Peepers" is still at the vet.
Or you could say that "Mr. Peepers" is living with a nice family is is getting a lot of love.
If she needs something to pet then you can get her a weighted stuffed cat. I don't think I would waste money on a robotic one. They are pretty small (at least the ones I have seen) and with the way things seem to vanish in most facilities I would thing your robotic cat would vanish as well.
Don't keep mom too informed. Leave out a lot of what you are thinking or what you plan to do. The last thing she needs is to be grieving over her beloved cat, so minimize that as much as possible. Be ready to change the subject any time it comes up, and have a few distractions in mind. Over time, mom will adjust to her new place, and since the cat was never part of her life there, she won't be looking for it.