My mother has Alzheimer's. She has severe memory loss. When she took the test that the Neurologist does for memory she recieved a zero. She is also on memantine, which is one of three drugs offered, mainly for severe patients. She hasn't been through the normal stages. She started off getting a little confused and my father thought it was just menopause. She never gets angry. Then one day her speach wasn't as great. She couldn't hold a conversation as well and mostly listen (but she is and always will be an introvert. My father was the one who always leads conversations and she listened to everyone.) She would leave in the car and get lost. Then she would walk once we took the car away. Finally the fleeing stopped and she didn't open a door by herself anymore. Then she forgot how to bring herself to the bathroom. This was over about 10 years.
She is still very fit and loves to go for walks. She prefers to speak with the mirror then any other activity. If she knows she's alone she speaks at a normal conversation level but if someone is in the room her voice gets softer and lowers sometimes to a whisper. She comforts the "person in the mirror" and asks "her" to follow her when she goes into other rooms. She now refers to herself as "we" not to exclude her "mirror friend." In most cases that I've read about the patient is bothered or angered by the mirror but my mother loves the mirror. I'm just trying to understand this situation better. I even bought her more mirrors. I'm wondering if she has made friends with this person because everyone was gone? I had move to SC and my dad still works to this day. I moved back to take care of her full time. Maybe she felt lonely and created a friend? Is this possible for someone with such severe memory loss? She baffles me some days. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced the same thing?
So perhaps your mother needs this friend in the mirror just as my daughter needed Nina.
We never tried to convince my dd that Nina was not real. We made room for her in the car, at the table and on holidays. If anyone thought it was strange that we talked about Nina, when there was only one girl with us, we did not care.
After about 2 years, when our dd went to school, she left her behind. Nina attended kindergarten for the first few weeks, then stayed home, and soon was forgotten.
From what I've read this seems to be pretty common in dementia patients. Some do have conversations with these people. I've learned to just play along. If she asks me where everyone went I tell her they have their own homes and responsibilities and so they must have gone home. Sometimes I tell her they said they will be back later in the week. Sometimes she actually gets miffed at them because they didn't say goodbye to her before they left! Once she told me that one of them said that one of my dogs was hers. I said she'd better back off from my dog or she isn't welcome in my house! Mom said she wasn't going to get in the middle of that. Haha!
She's done the talking to the mirror thing for years. Usually mumbles to it, because she knows other people are nearby and would hear. She also talks to imaginary people, but doesn't speak. Looks like normal talking but no voice! It's like watching a TV on mute. If you ask who she's talking to, she says "Oh, nobody." She tries to cover it up and would never admit to it if you asked her why.
As odd as it seems it really is nothing to worry about. My granny talked to her baby doll and it was a tremendous comfort to her.
With this disease the only understandable thing is that there is no understanding.
Hugs!
She was very concerned about the girl when we left the house and her having enough to eat or a place to sleep. I had to work around that. I set an extra place at the table. I put a mirror on the table at meal times. SW made a place for her to sleep.
I read where one woman pulled down the visor mirror in her car so her mother could talk to her friend while they drove. One man’s father got extremely upset because the man in the mirror mimicked his gestures so the son had to turn the mirror around - the old man just got too upset.
I believe the relationship to the person in the mirror reflects the basic personality of the demented observer. It can be productive (my SW) or not (the old man). If it is a productive relationship leave it be and go along with it. If not make the mirror disappear. It can be a perfect but harmless social outlet for the demented person trapped within their demented mind.
They guessed menopause and PTSD from childhood abuse.
They administered alzheimer's drugs that have crippled her.
https://www.nextavenue.org/ftd-dementia-misdiagnosed/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIg-_V7IWE4gIVjMpkCh1PxgUqEAMYASAAEgKxoPD_BwE
We have learned much about the workings of the FTD mind. It is puzzling that personality traits such as the mirror person are common.
Christy was hellish. Now she is a hoot.
My Husband was pretty much non-verbal for the last 7 years of his life. On rare occasions he might say a word and he would make noises but that was it. I would have loved to hear a conversation. And in this case I would love to hear the conversation. Is she talking about things that happened recently or years ago? Is she telling the person in the mirror about her life or is it about what happened to the lady down the hall?
I also wonder "who" she sees? Is it her or possibly her mother, sister or is it someone she does/did not know before this? (I look in my mirror sometimes and wonder where the old lady came from! )
Gut reaction if the person in the mirror is not causing any anxiety I would not worry about it. And I would listen in on the conversations and see if you can learn anything.
BTW..IMO I doubt any of the medications for Dementia are doing anything for her at this point. If these are medications you / she is paying for you might want to talk to the doctor about discontinuing them.
I actually will stand around the corner and listen to her. Sometimes she will let "her" know if she is cold or anxious and I can scoop in and fix those things for her. Sometimes she can't think of specific words so she says the poppers. I'm still not sure why she uses that word or what its means (it can mean many things, I just have to use context clues. It's her go to fill in the blank word.) She also talks about the machines a lot. In this case I think she is actually talking about machines, but anything from and elevator to a car can be a machine.
She also expresses her frustration to the mirror. I think this helps a lot because she shows no signs of aggressive behavior. If she is upset with something she will find the mirror and vent.
Her medication just slows down the process so she stays at this level. Otherwise she probably would be able to speak or even walk for that matter.
When my mother passed, my father was devastated - I told him Mom was still there in the house & the furniture - talk to her. It made his last 7-1/2 years a little more bearable.
With any Dementia, the brain is "broken" - maybe she talked to herself in the mirror as a child - if it makes her happy, don't take it away from her. Just learn to smile.
The weird thing was she would stop talking to the lady in the mirror if I came near. My Granddaughter would say she was playing Mirror, Mirror on the Wall and it was ok!
My Mom graduated to talking to someone sitting in the rocking chair. I didn't have a problem with it, all the the Alz books say these things can happen.
I agree with talking to the neurologist about your observations just to have a better understanding. Otherwise I use to just follow my mother's conversational lead and play the game or live in the moment. It would do no good to try to jolt her back to reality. Her reality is different now. Keep her as safe, comfortable and happy as you can.
Sounds to me like she is taking to her inner self; her higher self. I think this is profound.
Looking back I think Mom started Alz 15 years ago. I see things she would of never of done before that, the disease is gradual. All I can say is she started talking to things about 4 years ago with me. Her story is a long one. With Mom it took something to happen to get her to finally live with someone...the police were called. I used to joke with Mom that none of her 3 kids were ever in the backseat of a police car but she had that experience, haha! I tried to make it sound glamorous.
You see, the person in the mirror is, truly, another person as Alz people don't realize that is them. . .they aren't that old. What I did was print out an old photo of her, put it in a frame with no glass and she used to talk to that and sometimes she thought it was a mirror and she was looking at herself. I also have 38-8x10 photos of her, at various stages of her life, on the wall that she looks at often. She still know those are her.
Mom is now in the final stage of Alz, 82 pounds and not eating much. She has hospice, she has been on hospice for a year and a half now, everyone, even the nurses are amazed she is still with us.
Mom traveled a lot, so, all evening I ask her is she is enjoying her flight and the movie. Most times she smiles and says yes but if she is getting tired she will say no. And, I say "Thank you for flying United." I tell her to keep her seat in the upright position, etc. I found a person needs to be creative and put things that maybe she can relate to in her face. She can't remember her kids but she remembers flying.
May I suggest you get books about Alzheimer's, there are some good videos on youtube with Alzheimer's info. There is one lady Teepa Snow (I think that's her name) who can show you a lot about how to handle the different stages. Just keep in mind that she has never actually taken care of Alzheimer's people she has just studied them.
That's probably more than you wanted to read. Thank you for flying United and enjoy the movie.