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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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My mother lives in a senior living and she started to steal anything she can get her hands on. Her fridge is packed with fruits and muffins that she does not eat. Also I find in her room items that don’t belong to her.
When a person has any of the dementias I don't think you can call them taking things that don't belong to them "stealing" as their brains are broken and they don't realize what they are doing, or that these things don't belong to them. It's very common with demented folks to take from others what doesn't belong to them and also to hoard things. You may want to talk to to your mothers doctor to see if they would recommend any kind of medication to help with these issues.
I would discuss with admins at once. See what they can offer in terms of more safety. You don't mention if Mom is in Nursing Home or in ALF. She may need more care and monitoring, a higher level of care. I agree with other responders here on checking, if this is new behavior, with the MD; need clearance especially on ruling out the UTI. I also agree that this isn't "stealing" as there is no intent here other than to collect and put away things for herself.
Your Mom has “happy hands”. It’s super common. My mom had all sorts of hair scrunchies, barrettes. Etc. Did not use them, but were stashed in her apt, & I found them when moving her into NH. Lady down the hall took books and magazines. Another put flatware and China into the storage seat of her walker at mealtime. This was in independent Living too. It’s all super common behavior as they have dementia setting in. Sometimes they outright take stuff, other times other residents leave stuff behind.
The issue will likely be IF & when other residents have issues with what she is doing and complain. & complain loudly. Then admissions will have to do something and the suggestion will be that mom needs to move into a higher level of care. They will push to have a needs assessment done and it will show she’s now beyond the capability required for where she lives now. The flip side of this is that they are always a having things stolen from them, which is more they have hidden them and cannot remember where…. and it cannot possibly be their fault, it’s someone came into their apt and specifically took it.
Please give some thought as to your moms finances if she has to move from Independent or Assisted living apt to more expensive MC or NH.
Thank you. Everything you said exactly was going on with my mother. I had to sneak into her Independent lIving apartment and clean out her fridge. I took out about 200 lbs of food. I also found two walkers and other items that she brought in that did not belong to her. Her walker chair is also loaded with tea bags, sugar packets, plastic spoons, etc
In memory loss lingo, it is called "shopping". Bring items to the management office for a lost and found. If she is not in memory care and still in IL, then read the contract because sometimes it is considered a violation which may lead to eviction. Bestb to be proactive here and start looking at MC. Most units no longer have kitchenetts or refrigerators.
What is IF? My mom was the opposite. She kept giving her things away. I had to go looking around the memory care for her belongings so I didn't have to go buy new stuff.
Your mother is way beyond independent living now and needs the structure of memory care AL.
When you move mom to memory care AL, make SURE the residents doors LOCK from the inside. This is not to lock them in, but to lock other residents out. This is the only thing that prevents "shopping" from other's rooms and acquiring things that do not belong to them. It also prevents other residents from sleeping in your mom's bed or from Harry showing up for a snuggle at 2am. No joke. It is NOT "against the law" for residents to have rooms that lock, so don't buy into any bs about that. My mother's life was peaceful in MC precisely bc she was able to lock her door and keep others OUT.
My stepmother kept taking food from the dining room, butter, cream cheese, jelly, napkins and more, she had over 200 of these little containers in her refrigerator.
We would empty it and she would do it again.
She also started dumpster diving and bringing the stuff back to her room. Along with rocks, shells and sticks.
We had to move her from AL to MC.
Your mother is beyond senior living, independent living or assisted living. Start looking now, don't hesitate, she will acclimate easier if you do.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's very common with demented folks to take from others what doesn't belong to them and also to hoard things.
You may want to talk to to your mothers doctor to see if they would recommend any kind of medication to help with these issues.
Yes, contact her doctor if this is new behavior.
Sometimes a UTI will cause behavioral symptoms; it could signal a progression of her dementia and the need for a higher level of care.
See what they can offer in terms of more safety. You don't mention if Mom is in Nursing Home or in ALF. She may need more care and monitoring, a higher level of care.
I agree with other responders here on checking, if this is new behavior, with the MD; need clearance especially on ruling out the UTI. I also agree that this isn't "stealing" as there is no intent here other than to collect and put away things for herself.
The issue will likely be IF & when other residents have issues with what she is doing and complain. & complain loudly. Then admissions will have to do something and the suggestion will be that mom needs to move into a higher level of care. They will push to have a needs assessment done and it will show she’s now beyond the capability required for where she lives now. The flip side of this is that they are always a having things stolen from them, which is more they have hidden them and cannot remember where…. and it cannot possibly be their fault, it’s someone came into their apt and specifically took it.
Please give some thought as to your moms finances if she has to move from Independent or Assisted living apt to more expensive MC or NH.
Bestb to be proactive here and start looking at MC. Most units no longer have kitchenetts or refrigerators.
When you move mom to memory care AL, make SURE the residents doors LOCK from the inside. This is not to lock them in, but to lock other residents out. This is the only thing that prevents "shopping" from other's rooms and acquiring things that do not belong to them. It also prevents other residents from sleeping in your mom's bed or from Harry showing up for a snuggle at 2am. No joke. It is NOT "against the law" for residents to have rooms that lock, so don't buy into any bs about that. My mother's life was peaceful in MC precisely bc she was able to lock her door and keep others OUT.
Best of luck to you.
We would empty it and she would do it again.
She also started dumpster diving and bringing the stuff back to her room. Along with rocks, shells and sticks.
We had to move her from AL to MC.
Your mother is beyond senior living, independent living or assisted living. Start looking now, don't hesitate, she will acclimate easier if you do.