my father passed away in 2017, i helped my mother move out of state. She met an Immigrant Romanian man at her complex. Then my husband passed away in 2018. That is when I could tell my mother was changing. This man was always around, she would tell me she is busy she is going to his family's house...etc....Now I found out today that she is in the hospital. He tells me that she doesn't want to talk to me, she doesn't want me around.
There is more to the story, but these are the basics.
I don't know what to do...I don't even know what topic to choose below, so i picked elder abuse. This man is about 10 years younger than my mother, he lives in same complex, but he is controlling and manipulative...
Please help me.
Call the hospitals and go see her.
You have to see her without his knowledge, because she might be scared of him and she won't say anything if he's around.
Get on the phone now and locate her.
If you can't get any info from Don Juan, call the local hospitals and find out where she is, and then go see her yourself.
That's the first step, I think.......to find your mom & pay her a visit. See for yourself what's going on with her health & whether or not she wants you in her life. Go from there. If she tells you that Don Juan is manipulating her, you can always get a restraining order against him IF she is willing to go that route. If she's under his spell, however, you'll have to accept that's her decision as well. UNLESS she's suffering from dementia and incompetent to make her own decisions. Then that's a horse of another color entirely.
Best of luck.
I would not tell him you need to hear from her own mouth she does not want to talk to you. I would call her or go there personally and let her tell me.
Once you find where she is, contact the DON and tell her that you are her daughter. If u have POA tell the DON (Director of Nursing). If Mom does tell you she does not want to speak to you, relay this to the DON. Explain that you really do not know her friend well, but you feel he influences your Moms decisions. That he is not her husband or a child. This at least will put him on the DONs radar. She will be more likely to note anything going on between him and Mom. Like, Mom allows him to do most of the talking. Allowing him to make decisions for her. Her seeming to be a little afraid of him.
How old is your Mom?
call the hospitals and ask if their is a patient by moms name. Once you find where she is contact the patient advocacy office. Explain the situation and then contact the hospital social worker