For the past few months my 83 year old nan has been complaining that she can’t go to the toilet. After visiting a doctor saying she can’t go they then gave her strong laxatives to solve the problem. After getting a bit suspicious of her saying she still hasn’t been in days. I’ve been trying to listen to when she’s going... she’s been going to the toilet about 4/5 times a day. She gets confused at night and then gets angry that she hasn’t been to the toilet all day? I’ve tried to explain to her that she’s already been 4 times and she just gets angry saying that I’m lying trying to make her look like she’s losing her mind. PLEASE HELP. She is absolutely obsessed with emptying her bowel completely. She doesn’t want any food in her stomach because she thinks it’s going to get blocked. She’s never been tested for any dementia, but is this a symptom?
As for wondering if your Grandmother may be developing dementia..... at her age, every day is ground-hog day. For myself, I am in my mid-70's and ever since my office closed up forever last summer, I find I need to check the newspaper to see what day it is :P
Good luck.
Since some of your nan's problems are related to dementia you have a couple of issues - she forgot she went and she may still feel the need to go. The obsession is not going away. For reminder purposes - put a white board in the bathroom and tell her as soon as she goes to put an X or a mark on the board. Maybe that will help her - depending on how her memory perceives the marks on the board.
If memory loss is more advanced, don't even try to convince her she already went. Broken brain versus reality = you won't win that reasoning or argument. Instead, try asking if she feels like she needs to go. If no, then tell her to rest for a while to see if she feels like she needs to go in a while. If you know that she just went, as she comes out of bathroom say something like - I bet you feel better now.
It was the only think my poor dad obsessed about as he aged. At the end, he wasn't eating ANYTHING solid, so of course, no bowel activity. We never did solve that one.
I had a care client with mobility issues who every five minutes would claim she had to go to the bathroom. At first it my whole shift was toileting her. Some days up to 20 times. I also had other responsibilities on that job that I had to get done.
I discussed this with her out-of-town adult children and told them there would have to be another aide coming because nothing else could get done. They pretty much just left me in the weeds and told me to do my best.
What I ended up doing was start putting her in Pull-ups and taking her to the toilet every hour and a half and then every two hours. She would still start on every five minutes about needing to go, and I'd tell her she already went and I would give her a distraction. Sometimes I would just have to ignore it.
In any case, there obviously is physical discomfort of one sort or another and you want a qualified medical opinion.
No, your grandma is not crazy. she is wiser than you realize.
My dad has been a doctor for 35 years. I learned the above from him
You should deffiently speak to her Dr to let the Dr know she does go to the bathroom so he won't prescribe her any more pills.
Some people don't understand that different people have different routines of how often they go to the bathroom.
Some go every day some every other day and nothing to worry about unless you don't have one for 3 days.
It's possible her poop routine changed do to her meds.
Instead of fussing with her, you might consider installing a Nest Camera which can be seen from your cell phone or computer and then play it back for her, showing she went to the bathroom.
Also, if she doesn't eat much, you might start having her drink a chocolate breakfast drink like Ensure, ect and it helps you to poop without the negative side effects from a laxative.
My 96 yr old Dad drinks a little Ensure every day and he doesn't eat much so it works like a Laxative.
Prayers
Anyway, his primary has suggested MetaMucil which has fiber and helps with bowel movements. It has been about 10 days and he is having better BM. Need to drink a glass of water with the capsules.
Good luck. It's a rough road for us as caregivers.
Elderly often forgot to drink enough water and that can cause constipation. You need to monitor how often she is drinking fluids. If that is not the problem and she needs a laxative--fiber like Metamucil, or, failing that, prescription lactulose, are much safer alternatives.
It is important to put a lock on your toilet handle because you need to see if she is going, and how the stool looks like. They sell childproof locks on Amazon for toilet handles. If you see blood in the stool then she has another problem that needs medical attention.
claims she has diarrhea all the time.
I check behind her and have asked the CGs to do the same. Usually nothing is produced.
We keep a daily chart of many activities and can show her when a BM is noted.
If Nan can still read this may ease her mind.
check it when she goes, this will help her to recheck when she went. a reminder on paper or even cute stickers
If you will notice both the "Greatest Generation", born 1901-27 and the "Silent Generation", born 1928 -45, growing up and as adults were fixated on eliminating at least daily, and believed that throughout their entire lives. When my YB and I were growing up in the early 50s my mother would give us an enema if we did not eliminate daily. As children we had to report every time we were headed to the bathroom and then report what we had accomplished. As an adult I once knew a woman who insisted her children have a bowel movement after every meal!