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I’m a homemaker for a VA company(basically a caregiver without the full responsibilities; The job entails tidying their home, helping with walking and medication reminders, meal prepping, etc.). I recently had a client that was 95 y.o. that apparently didn’t have dementia. I worked with the client for a few months until he became obsessed with me, saying very inappropriate things and retaliated after I reminded him that I am not here to be his lover but I am here to help him with his needs. He started lying to the VA and my boss saying that I was getting paid for hours that I wasn’t there(although I have proof that I was there for the full hours so it was debunked) and he even printed out paperwork from the VA showing how much I get paid daily and told me that he could say that I was “stealing” because of my hours. He also told me that I could have water bottles to drink and said that he kept them stocked for me, but then would say that I was stealing the water so I completely stopped accepting beverages from him. Then he became angry that I wouldn’t accept anything from him. He also constantly overstepped boundaries. So after dealing with the constant retaliation all because I wouldn’t revolve my world around him and “stay the night” with him, I finally told my boss that I wanted a different client and sent her the documentation that I used to keep record of clients acting inappropriately to show her why. She read it and completely agreed that she should give me another client. Well, it’s been a month since I left that client and he has already sent a letter to the company saying that he was disappointed with my company but my boss says she didn’t worry about it since he left the company already. Then, he told the VA that I was still going to his house even after I stopped working with him, which is COMPLETELY not true. This client disturbed me so much that I would never set foot even in his neighborhood again. But, I do have a delivery job that I work with sometimes and I have drove PAST his neighborhood before. The client didn’t have any cameras or anything since I worked with him so he doesn’t have any proof that I showed up to his house but it also doesn’t help my case because since he doesn’t have any cameras, it can’t prove that I wasn’t at his place(unless he decided to get cameras after I left). I told my boss that I have only drove past his neighborhood and never even entered the neighborhood and I told her about my delivery job but she sounded completely discouraged after I told her. I’m worried that this one difficult client is going to effect me keeping my job and I’m not sure what to do. Has anyone ever experienced a situation like this? If so, how did you get out of it?

You did your part by providing the documentation to your agency.

Say no more about it. Let the old man keep writing letters to the VA and other folks who will listen to the ramblings of an old person.

I've had troublesome older people within the last four years. Finally, I got fed up and went with a private pay agency. It pays a dollar less, but my nerves are worth more than a paycheck.
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Reply to Scampie1
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I do wish you had discussed something that was so gut-felt by you, with your managers before this came to fruition, but you can bet this person likely DOES HAVE or WILL HAVE a history. I would at this point do nothing. Then, if talked to I would say "You know, I wish now, hindsight being 20/20 that I had come to you with my instinctive worry over this client in the beginning; I felt that I had no solid evidence and I didn't want to say anything harmful without good reason. But.................."

Then tell your story.
They know you. They know your history. The likely do know the client or will in future. And none of this will be new to your managers. I am hoping they will be in your corner. You can only do what you can do.
Where this stalking is concerned re new jobs, I think only you can know if it bears any grounding in reality that you should say you have a rather obsessed old client who................blah blah. You may want to consider a lawyer letter to the old client with threats of libel and etc. You may want to see options regarding stay-away or restraining orders.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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This sounds like something for the Human Resources dept. It's a he said/she said situation. Just because he "...apparently didn’t have dementia" doesn't mean that at 95 it can't start at any time.

Think about other behaviors you witnessed to make a case that he did indeed have cognitive problems. Just the sexual harassment alone should be enough, so make sure to document this with specifics, dates, location, circumstances, etc. He won't be able to compete with this since he'll have no proof of his lies at his end.

You should maybe consider composing an email to your boss with the documentation and recommend that they only assign male aids to him in the future. This shores up your harassment case. Once you do this, just go about your life. You may be worrying for nothing. So sorry you had to have this bad experience.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Caringforelders Aug 19, 2024
thank you for your response! I have already sent my boss the document through text so she knows what the client has done but it just seems like she doesn’t believe me for some reason or maybe she’s tired of dealing with him and is upset with me because of it? He has already left the company but he keeps getting in contact with my boss either by letter or through the VA. But I will definitely ask for her email and send the document to my boss again so she can keep it for records.
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