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Good day, everyone. Happy New Year. God bless us all. I am Heather. I want to know ALL helpful, respectful, opinions. Thank you. I have been beside myself, but staying strong the way Daddy (before he went to heaven 3 yrs, 08/22) would have. Currently, my mom and I, who took good care of father, were inseparable. No "older" siblings didn’t rearrange their life OR work it into their schedule to do anything but visit sporadically from NJ. As of 2022 (almost 2 years ago) my mom called me regularly on the phone. A rarity now that the older brother illegally became P.O.A in 9/2020. He has been emotionally abusive to her. Mom again called me a year and a 1/2 ago and stated, "Please call the lawyer, Heather." She said she was being forced to  "lie on me" and being told to say bad things to get me in trouble, but that she would not lie on her own daughter. Then she told me that she loved me, was very sad and again to please call the lawyer. She said she would keep calling to check up and asked me to do the same. I do not trust Dale (name changed for privacy). I told mommie I would contact a lawyer to which she replied that she knew he tricked her not once, but two times to become POA. She did not want to sign anything. I called the attorney, but as soon as I connected her to the NC lawyer, the eldest grandchild (Natalia) heard and then the abusive son literally yelled at her to hang up and mom said, "But, I have a right to talk to my youngest daughter, and a right to speak to lawyers." The phone angrily slammed down, but I don't think it was my mom who ended the call.


After that, I was blessed to hear weeks later from mommie who was talking to me citing how she would always call me and they will not continue to "control her" and how she is still in charge. Not kids, not Dale or Natalia. She said, "I will call you, and I love you," but that was the final conversation a year and a 1/2 ago. Sadly, my mother has not called me.


Even as a Law Student and Trained advocate, I am stuck on what I can feasibly do next?


Things I have tried:


Pennsylvania Bucks County for the elderly, abuse, etc. As they have failed mommie, several times since that call by neglecting their own duties. They did not go see mommie or follow up with me. They just said she is fine each time. Never protected her at all. Short of a lawsuit, what can I do?  I know about Guardianship and that it can be costly. I want to also challenge abusive estranged eldest brother (who just entered his 60s) for P.O.A. What else can I do? I send my beautiful mom flowers each week/month. Her favorite color, purple. She would never not call me like this unless she was being emotionally abused/emotionally isolated. The cops visited her two times and there was no answer. The final time (3 weeks ago) mom factually said, on exhibit 1 (police dept. report) to tell my daughter I want to speak to her and I shall call her at 4 this afternoon because they take my phone! Second police visit to her granddaughter's house in PA she told the cops to tell me, "I do not ever want to speak to her again."


Clearly the granddaughter is controlling mom to say that or similar things such as, “Well, not right now." Again it's clear mom is being emotionally isolated. What else can I do (legally)? A suit?  Thank you.

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File a writ of habeus corpus.
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LawHeather0806 Jan 6, 2024
Please expound more, in depth. Thanks or a suit again mom’s abusive eldest son forcing her not to speak to me. Evidence on audio prove such. Thank you.
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I am uncertain I understand this completely, but I will give it a try.

What I believe I do understand is that currently your mother lives with your brother to whom has given POA?
Your mother asked you do call an attorney and you did so. The attorney called your mother but another woman spoke angrily and hung up the phone.
(what did the attorney who called suggest to you after her failed call?)

You then called APS, twice. Which you say, if I understand you correctly, has investigated and told you that everything is fine.

That is about the limit, unfortunately of what you can do.

Your mother seems to have good phone access.
I believe that the next time she calls you, she should be advised to all 911 and speak to the police, directly, telling them that she is being held unlawfully by her son.

These family situations that come to two siblings fighting over a parent can become very dangerous.

Best of luck to you, and in your studies.
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LawHeather0806 Jan 6, 2024
Alva, 1 major correction. No, APS did not. Its on tape validated no one went to grand-daughter’s home at all.”

Higher level supervisor said in Dec 2923:
Heather,
Some one “ this time” shall reach you.”
No o e went to see your mom.”

Moreover, I called More than 2x.
I called APS, more than 1/2 of dozen times for 18 months.

Each time they lied,
since evidence of abuse, clearly on audio , yet failed to procure it, from me, at my advocacy biz.” My mother is being clearly isolated from others ergo, emotional abuse.”

A mother who imploring for help, per “ call a lawyer for her to remove abuser from POA, a mother who has phones kept from her, is hence, Emotional Isolation & abuse.

A mother, late 80’s, whose not being abused, would go 18 months “ (after saying on audio) Call the lawyers”, because I do not trust your brother at all.”

Then, Mommie tells a cop from her “ Grand child house in PA “ tell my child i love her & calling at 4, but never did.” Receiving flowers, each week.”

We are are closer than anyone in the entire family.”
Pretty clear granddaughter & abusive son are clearly keeping mother isolated.”

No one cares, but I’m not giving up.”Just looking for the right course of action asap.
lawsuit against estranged brother, or file to challenge POS to force him into court,” or her grand daughter.”
Anything else, just ask.

Just clearing it up, for you.”
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Huh?
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LawHeather0806 Jan 6, 2024
Loop. That is ok, if you cannot read english,and of genuine concern, I prefer others here, of such decency astute nature, and care. I am already receiving from genuine good souls here, so shall focus on those kind of good people.

~Heather0806~
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I have no idea how to handle this matter. Just wanted to wish you luck and say that I’m very sorry that you are going through this.

How do you know that your mom is receiving your flowers?

For all you know, they could be telling your mom that they are buying her the flowers.
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Heather,
As you are somewhat "connected" though your studies, or through where you work in advocacy, is there a way to question attorneys or professors as to what steps might be?
Could you see an elder law attorney for options on next moves forward?
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I am sorry but I do not think English is your first language. I can see where LoopyLou has a problem understanding what you have written. My question is, why have you not gone to where your Mom is and checked this out yourself. As a law student, are there not professors who can help you figure out what you can do legally?
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lealonnie1 Jan 6, 2024
I was going to ask that question myself....why has the OP not visited mom herself???
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You have to ask the Police to do a wellness check . usually they Just say " they are fine and healthy . " Next you call APS where Your Mom is Located and ask that they Visit her and she is isolated . Do You Have any Male friends That can help go with you to visit your Mom ? because what I would do is go to your Moms House with a couple guys and get your Mom . Once you get Mom In your territory then you can go to Court and ask for conservatorship it takes time . They will Probably Not let you see her if they think Its you so have a guy Knock On the door and then take your Mom Out of there and drive home and then Proceed with legal hearings . There must be guys at your Law school ? I was told to come get my dad in California and to contact APS and the Police and I did what I was told by social workers. What I should have done is went with a strong Man and Just grabbed My Dad because he does Not want to be in California . They are spending His Money - he is the new cash cow for them . Thats My best advice for you - Do Not go alone you are dealing with dangerous people and the police can't get her Out of there with Out a court order being involved . Actually they really can't do anything but a wellness check .
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 6, 2024
So sad, KNance. I am sorry for your troubles.
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Heather,

We have seen several posts on AgingCare that someone has contacted APS for certain situations. I don’t think I have ever seen one where a situation was resolved by APS.

The posts are usually very confusing and complicated such as yours. So, please don’t be offended by others questions. People are asking questions so they can answer your question properly.

You wouldn’t believe some of the posts that we read.

People probably don’t remember because it was a while ago but there was another post where abuse was suspected and the poster asked me to crash the funeral of the person who they thought had been murdered!

I told her that in no way was I going to crash a funeral even though I adore Ruth Gordon in the dark and hilarious comedy, Harold and Maude. Maude was a funeral crasher! LOL 😆

The funny thing is that I have family members buried in the same cemetery and mausoleum as the supposedly murdered victim.

At first I thought it was a sick joke but she knew too much about the area for her to be guessing.
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KNance72 Jan 7, 2024
Thanks - yes You get to a point where if you had strong brothers, uncles or Husbands That would Help you this stuff wouldn't Happen But these predators Know when you are a Lone caregiver and dont Have a extra $10,000 floating around for a lawyer or any Family .
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