My husband also needs a lot of help from me. We have some savings that we are going to need for our own declining health. My daughter is able to take care of her basic needs and has part time help 4 days a week, but needs more help. She needs bed changes daily due to bed wetting even with adult diapers. She refuses to assign me Power of Attorney for fear I would put her in nursing care, which nobody can afford anyway. Any suggestions?
You don't need POA to have her placed in a nursing home; let Adult Services know she (and you if you're trying to assist her) are at risk because her care is more than can be continued at home.
Medicaid would cover a nursing home. Depending on where you live, there may be low-cost alternates to a nursing home (assisted living, congregate housing) since Daughter is able to do some things for herself.
Contact your local office on Aging to have an options counselor come and help you see what's possible for the three of you.
It's better to get this all done now, where you'll actually have a say as to where she goes, then to wait until after you die and then are at the mercy of the state as to what they'll do with her.
At least when you do it now, you'll have peace of mind knowing that your daughter is being well care of after you're no longer here.
Your daughter will have to apply for Medicaid if money is an issue as you and your husband SHOULD NOT be spending any of your money on her or her care, as like you've already stated you're going to need your money for your own future.
I wish you well in finding the right facility for your daughter.
No, you should not have POA. Like said it should be someone younger. I would call Adult Protection Services and have them evaluate your daughter. Maybe they can help her get more services.
Maybe even get her into a board and care. Just like a child is not responsible financially for your care, your not responsible financially for your daughters. There are resourses out there she can take advantage of.
Please tell us more about your situation.
Your daughter is apparently disabled? What is her disability? What governmental assistance is she on? Does she get SSDI and does she have a caseworker working with her and with you? Does she have a physical illness that is chronic or terminal? How old is she?
What help does your husband require. What mental and physical limitations does he have? How old is he?
How old are you, and what about your own health?
From what little you say here this doesn't sound sustainable. At some point daughter will yes, likely need to be placed in a group home or some other care. One person cannot do what a staff of people over several shifts do. And if you take yourself down for the count with exhaustion, what then for the two of them?
Your answers to the above may help us guide or provide better answers. I hope so because sounds like your plate is way too full. My best to you.
As JoAnn29 mentioned, there are resources out there, probably some that can delay or prevent facility placement.
One caveat to know, the human body was not made to be stationary for long periods, so there is a very good chance she has some type of weakness and/or even muscle atrophy.