My sister is a very selfish human being and kept pressuring me to put our parents in a nursing home, but every time I would say "absolutely not!!", which would really piss her off. I made a commitment to both my parents that they would never be abused like their parents were while in the care of strangers. I know there are wonderful facilities out there, but the mental damage had been done. So my sister moved out right under my nose and left me with a mess. It honestly felt like her flipping me the bird, but the bird was non filed taxes. I am terrified to pick the phone up and call the IRS to explain our situation. Can someone please give me advice on how to handle this? If my father finds out his first born did such a hateful thing I really worry it could push him into depression or worsen his heart. Thank you for caring. I feel so alone.
Get together the records for the parents, such as banks, brokerages, 1099s, 1098s, etc. Reconstruct what their total incomes.
Talk to the IRS and notify them that you have become aware of this lapse. It's now three years and the automated system will start generated notices of tax delinquency. They might be able to give you a form that allows you to deal with the IRS on their behalf if the parents are competent to sign it. The IRS can also provide you with the electronic data from the 1099s, 1098s, etc. that you can use to check the records and prepare a return.
The IRS may be able to waive penalties and interest on those penalties if the parents aren't competent to file.
I suggest seeing a CPA who does taxes. You may be able to file the 3 years without talking to the IRA. There may be some penalties. I would not say anything to Dad until I worked it out.
If they are required to file, I echo others who have stated to call the IRS as the place to start.