Where do I go to get answers on reports to Adult Protection Services?

I have a 97 year old Mother-in-law with combative dementia. SHE does the hitting and kicking every chance she gets and then this bitch tells everyone I hit her! I went to a therapist about this and she gave me some great advice. Take pictures of my bruises, wounds and knocked out teeth with a calendar and newspaper in the photo. Then give copies of this to her doctor so SHE is on record as being the abuser, not me. And NEVER, under any circumstances hit back or threaten her because that is elder abuse. They can beat you to death but you can't do anything back about it other than protect your credibility. She also told my husband that I hit her. He believed her for ten years until the day she went nuts and whaled on him kicking him and hitting him and she woke up the next day and told him, "You hit me!" Finally, the light dawned on him when he got the shit kicked out of him. The day she drops dead will be the happiest day of my life. I have reported this to social workers and they are a waste of time. They write it down but they don't do anything about it. They suggest adult day care and shit-for-brains refuses to go. She creates nothing but misery in my life.

Beannie, actually, they have to go investigate every report they "accept" (specific term - if they deem from the call that the complaint would not legally constitute abuse even if true thay can reufse to even "take the report") and find out if there is anything substantial (to "substantiate" a report is the offical word that means they find it true and will take some action) or not. They are not allowed to just drop a report because it looks, smells, or feels like its probably nothing. They are not allowed to tell you who made the reports because reporting is allowed to be confidential and there are no penalites for filing an unsubstantiated report in good faith. The whole system is set up to protect people who are really being abused, and it is admittedly at the risk of causing difficulty for people who are having reports used as a weapon against them. I once had a patient's parent reported multiple times out of sheer spite, and because there was some excuse such as a small bruise it stopped short of being clear cut bad-faith or false reporting. The first time was emotionally traumatic, but it got to the point that DCFS would come to the door and she'd just say hi, come on in, have a cup of coffee...and that was that!

Demand answers!

APS will never tell you who called, but you can ask them what was in the report, if Caseworker doesn't tell you than go to there Supervisor!!!!!! There's got to be something substantial for them to even go out to your house and talk with you, hope this helps!!!!

Here where I live, the government advocates for the senior and their job is to override everyone they can in the interest of the senior.....they act as if they are robots. One must be very, very careful in dealing with these agencies, the smallest thing you say can be taken out of context. You MUST go to the hospital with the elderly because they are capable of saying anything they can to get what they want and don't forget, a lot of them are seasoned "pros" who know exactly what to say to doctors and other care workers in order to get what they want, including medications.
Often it is just "crying wolf" and they want the treatment they believe they deserve, not to mention the attention. After all, what else have they got going on in their lives? Nine out of ten of seniors once they get talking, it's all about them, their ailments, their medications, etc., how much worse they are than so-and-so and they go on and on hoping for a certain reaction and sympathy.
I witnessed this earlier this year when mother fell down. She had got up in the night to use the washroom (night lights in her room, the hallway, and bathroom as she will not turn a light on when she gets up saying it will keep her awake).
After she came out of the washroom she somehow got disoriented and turned right into our bedroom instead of her own, tried to find something familiar to hold onto and fell flat on her face on the floor.
This was at 6 in the morning. We jumped out of bed with a start and picked her up and informed her that she would have to go to emerg. as she said she had hit her head and had goose eggs on the front and back of it. She refused to go. We would have driven her in a heartbeat but she would not budge.
An hour later both her eyes started to blacken. She was given ice packs and urged to go to the hospital but would not.
Later that day her friend called and convinced her to go so we drove her and she came home in a cab.
The next day I got a call from the elder care agency who had been notified by the emergency dep't. The agency is like their own police!! I was riddled with questions and they informed me that they were sending someone out to check her living situation so that resulted in a two-hour grilling investigation the following day.
Apparently at the hospital, she denied she had fallen, denied she had got disoriented and blamed the fall on "someone must have spilled some water in the bathroom on the floor". Well she didn't fall in the bathroom!!
I was worried to death, since she had reported me once before for elder abuse (see prevous posting) that she was going to accuse one of us of doing that to her because the agency takes word for word what these seniors tell them, and these seniors can be devious, manipulative and they will lie about anything to get what they want.
I can only imagine what would have happened if she had made up a story. It would have been on her in the end, they would have moved her to a "facility" where all she would have done is complain about the people there, the food etc.
Lucky for me it all worked out in the end and she is still here with us. But you must go with them when these things happen so you can explain the truth.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, your version will be completely different from theirs, because they don't want to admit that they are weak, that it is their fault, that they don't have control anymore and they are too proud to say what really happened, or they want to manipulate the situation for their own gain and these drs. and nurses and elder care agency people are all too willing to accommodate them.
So look out for yourself at all times!! Document every detail, times, places etc. so you can protect yourself and not get caught up in their webs of deceit!

for capnhardass, here is a good site on bedbugs, how and how NOT to get rid of them...www.nyc.gov/html/doh/downloads/pdf/vector/bed-bug-guide.pdf...hope it works!

Home health nurses reported me when I was caring for my dad. I was almost neglecting my family to care for him! I told them they were at the wrong house!! The only good that came from the whole ordeal is that they helped me find extra insurance for him, so that he could have around the clock care. Still did not get much peace because as soon as I returned home from my daily visits they would call. My father was so upset with them and as sick as he was, he was taking up for me! They had most of the facts wrong. Trying to get into his finances and I told them it was none of their business. Now my husband requires home health and I'm very cautious of them.

MOST of the time Protective Services figures out which end is up and does the right thing. It has got to be scary while that is figured out. Yes, a visiting nurse might be covering her butt, or somebody who should have known better might have inappropriately reported - and - once in a great while, you file a complaint or grievance about care and the next thing you know they report you in retaliation -I've seen it done by schools when faced with Office of Civil Rights or even IDEA complaints. Maybe it was the disputed charge - which by the way, there is usually a hotline to report to Medicare or Medicaid about possible fraud.

I have seen protective services be too harsh with situations when someone gets in their face instead of being polite and respectful to investigators. (KEEP YOUR TEMPER when they come to talk with you.) They typically would rather avoid taking over care if they can - in fact we have more times they err on the side of letting the families provide actual bad care of their children, rather than on the side of overreacting to an accident. I hope this turns out well for you, and if they "found" the case rather than "unfound" it, yes it could be a problem in employment, but not as much as it is on the child protective services side, and you may want legal help with that. As mentioned above, their involvement could result in you getting some more support that might even be helpful. The child protective agencies here tend to be help most families who are not beyond help and manage to let them.

Let us all know what happens, OK?

Just be careful with how you handle aps. It sounds like you've pretty much got everything under control. Just make SURE that aps doesn't smooth talk you out of your rights (they're really good at that). Of course, all this is being done "in the best interest of the elder." Until they manage to get any rights you have away from you and lock her up in a home, with you on the sidelines unable to do anything. And lo and behold when you turn around trying to get assistance, everyone who was so concerned with your elder's "best interest" is nowhere to be found.

Its harsh. And it SUCKS. And yes, this is the thanks you get, unfortunately. Just remember truly why you're doing this ... and keep doing what you can. Have that drink people above suggested (while you've got a second to catch your breath). And then make sure you watch what you say to aps when they call. Its definitely good advice to have someone else around when you do finally meet with them.

good luck ...

I was reported for "neglect" and "abuse". The emotional upheaval took an unbelievable toll on my husband (disabled due to Binswanger’s Disease). I was lucky my stepdaughter called after a visit with her Dad. She felt/thought he stank of feces, was dirty, his clothes filthy and was unshaven. When I disputed her claims (we had just left Mass and there were many parishioners that had talked with him and hugged him) she said she was reporting me and was going to place him in a nursing home where he belonged. The waiting game began. The S.W. showed up with no notice to our home after a week; which is normal procedure. Legally they could not tell me who reported me...I was seen as guilty until I was proven innocent. They were able to tell me the dates the "abuse and neglect" was observed and reported. The stepdaughter wrote them a letter (in anger and hurt feelings) the S.W. was able to feel the irrational feelings and hate she harbors. I found the S.W. visits (there were three before the charges could be dropped) a wealth of information about services available, many good suggestions on management of dementia symptoms, ideas on meal planning and a very good sounding board for some of my frustrations. I guess the bottom line; even though my feelings were hurt and my husband was very upset about having uninvited strangers in our home, it was a positive experience in many ways. It really helps to have the stepdaughter on the radar of our Social Services. Social Services gave us protection. She no longer can “demand” to see her Dad according to what works for her. I no longer have to have her in our home. I do not have to have verbal communication with her (only written). I must have witnesses any time I meet her to hand her Dad over for a visit or pick him up and only in a public place. I do know that in my state there is an Elder Abuse Register. If I had been found guilty I would have had a horrible time finding work within any part of the human services field.

Sorry baby lamb, I know how you feel I also was reported to Adult Protected Services about 3 yrs. ago I found out because CPS came to my house but my husband was not home and I was at work and my son-in-law was home.At the time my husband had early dementia but we did not know.My daughter and her husband lived with us and they questioned my son-in-law. Apparently I was accused of not feeding or keeping my husband clean and that I would beat him. I never recieved a phone call,CPS finally visited when my husband was home. First of all if you see my husband you can tell he's not starving and not dirty or bruised.I did get mad for few hours but I had to remember that I had nothing to hide 3 weeks later CPS called me and spoke to me and said everything was fine and it would take 3 weeks to clear. Do not let him scare you and let this make you stronger and determine to be your Mom's caretaker. God Bless.

OMG, I am not in hell alone. Thanks for sharing these experiences. I took Mom out of a nursing home AMA on her 83rd bd where she had ongoing falls, bruises and not bathe regularly. The MD was furious with me and reported me to the Dept of Protective Services who paid me an unexpected visit and determined Mom was perfectly happy and safe with me. Unfortunately, I had to take her to the ER for oxygen a week later and her MD suddenly claim that Mom was incompetent. I've been her caretaker for years but the MD had not shared this info with me previously. Her MD was not in the ER but had Ma held for observation (She was fine after oxygen). Conveniently enough, her doc had a second MD render her incompetent taking her voice and forcing me out of the equation (I don't have the POA). She is an orphan of the court until a judge decides. This started two months ago and I have driven myself insane making calls, writing letters, complaining to "anyone that listens" yes - everyone on the list! I appear to be blackballed as a troublemaker. Everyone is sweet, agrees and smiles but no action, no return calls, no change, etc. Today a no show attorney informed me that there was a court order not to allow Mom to leave the nursing home so there was no sense in keeping the appt. Mom had requested a handicap unit within the housing unit which was denied because they do not have walk in showers which is part of what she needs. This atty was going to determine if mom was competent enough to return to her apt and if the housing should make reasonable accomodations. Well that is shot to hell because of this court order that is waiting 2 months for the guardianship hearing. She is low income and very loved by her family, friends, and community - no abuse of any type. No one in the family has received information from the Dept of Aging regarding a court order. Mom has mild dementia that she comes in and out of. She is non violent. Very kind and gentle with an excellent memory. She talks nonsense when she is tired or in pain (fixated on worries about my young 49 yr old brother) We understand within the family that her worries are part of traumas of the past. We are okay with that. She is not a bother. Sometimes she laughs at herself when she catches herself living in the past. In any case, they have been holding her in the advance dementia locked unit which is a horrid place for her. She is deteriorating quickly. Her unit was quarantine for two weeks without visits because an employee spread the flu. Mom was positive. The week after that mess was over, Mom fractured her pelvis. There was no call or report about the fall. No one seem to have information. She was hospitalized for 4 days and sent back to the psy ward in the nursing home since they can not operate. I guess this is it for her. I am enraged to see her in such pain. I just want to cry and cry knowing this is it. The simple pleasures of family and her fellowship with friends and religious worship will never be again. When the day of the guardianship hearing comes, she will be as uninterested as she was with life today giving us no chance to let Mom enjoy her last breath with us. Her same MD is the Director of Medicine of the area nursing homes and seems to have convinced the Dept of Aging that Mom must be held captive certainly not to help her mental or physical health. Mom called Medicare to change her health care provider since she had Medicaid also. They call it PACE for presc but it is called everyday life lutheran care. When I called to disenroll her, guess who answered - her provider or MD where the politics begin and end. Mom is a prisoner of the Heath Care system who has taken control of her life. I've pleaded with the Dept of Aging who takes forever and don't give me a reason for this mess. Oh and the Ombusman report to the Dept of Aging. Amazing how much power a doctor and politics have. Guess Iearned to never complain about health care providers. Doc really showed me who's boss.

Ferris1, do you mean to tell us that if you were reported to the APS, even if unfounded, leaves us with a record on a background check? This would mean anyone could do this to anyone so I don't understand.

I called adult protective services 3 times last August to try to get them..or anyone.. to care that my sister had spent over $30,000 of my mothers money, stolen all of her jewelry and used her POA to sell her car. I have yet to hear back from them. One lawyer friend of mine said he called them 6 times about a client he had who had a grandchild who was stealing money from his bank account. He had proof.. everything they needed to get involved. Nothing. Nada. The APS here isn't worth a bean.
I guess in some places they do their job. Even if it may be unwanted and unwarranted.

It happened to me. Best way to handle it is to get your personal physician for her to vouch for you and find out whats going on. I got breast cancer from the stress so try to relax.

If a report was filed with APS you will be contacted by APS social worker to discuss the issue. They will also interview your parent to hear her side of the story..and you will not be allowed to be present in the room. It's not that you have done anything wrong, its that they are required to investigate any allegations of elder abuse and make sure that nothing wrong is being done. Too many elders are being abused at record numbers today. I have called APS several times myself on family members and don't ever hesitate to call for other elders. I had to place my mother under conservatorship because of family members taking her money, mortgaging her home, verbal abuse, mental abuse. It happens and if you've done nothing wrong you will be cleared. The name of the reporter is kept annonymous to protect the person who called. Another way to protect yourself as a caregiver is to have a security monitoring system installed in your home. I purchased one from Sam's Club and my brother installed it. That way if your loved one falls or there's any report of abuse, you have a recording of that days/nights activities to show exactly what happens. Dementia is a horrible disease and parents sometimes don't know they are making up stories. With regards to the food, if they want something and you refuse to give it to them, legally, you are withholding food from them. Even if its detrimental to their health. Keep those items out of sight, out of the house so she doesn't see, know or ask for it. It's the same with medications. My mother use to refuse to take her meds, the doctor said "you cannot force her to take them, even if its detrimental to her health" seek alternative methods such as hiding the meds in foods to give it to her. Elders have rights and that's what APS is there to protect. If the issue is found to be untrue, ask the APS social worker if it can be removed from your record or stipulate in the record that an investigation proved the issue to be unfounded. They do put comments in the filing.

sorry... able, not again... :)

Having been on the receiving end of the wrath of CPS I can tell you that it can get VERY hairy! A year ago my stepdaughter moved out of my home and was angry with her father. To show her displeasure she called DHS and told them I was punching my mother, and then she called the PD and told them her father was selling drugs. WHAT!?!? Needless to say... both charges were unfounded. Unfortunately, even though unfounded we now have to be even MORE careful than we were in the beginning. Then in September my mother punched me in the face with all her might. I sported a nasty bruise for a couple of weeks. In response (without thinking) I smacked her hand and told her "Don't do that!" much like I would have with a child. Being her caregiver, I am a mandatory reporter. So, when the hospice nurse came in I told her what had happened. I gave her the opportunity to examine mother for any bruising (there wasn't any), which she declined to do. She then went back to her office and reported to her supervisor that I slugged my mother rather than a simple smack on the hand! Her supervisor called me and told me I just couldn't hit my mother... she didn't know what she was doing. I reassured her it was a simple swat on the back of her hand. Evidently they didn't believe me, because they called DHS... and here we went again! I told the DHS/CPS worker the same thing. She told me it was obvious that mother was well cared for and that the report would be unfounded. However, this now made two reports in the space of a year, so I needed to be even more diligent than I have always been. Unfortunately, I have to be even MORE careful. When I received my copy of the report... it wasn't unfounded... it was confirmed... all because I admitted smacking the back of her hand. And guess what! There does NOT have to be ANY signs of abuse for them to found on a report!

When mother broke her hip a year and a half ago, the hospital wanted me to put her in a facility for long term physical therapy (even though she didn't qualify for THEIR program due to reduced cognitive ability... I guess if you have Alzheimer's you aren't supposed to have quality of life)... I declined the service at a facility because I knew that once she was admitted, I would not be able to get her back out of the facility. I have personally seen too many people not be again to get their loved one back home because many nursing homes want that income and WILL go to court to get an injunction to keep your loved one there. If your parent or spouse or other loved one has a diminished capacity of ANY kind, they can and WILL use that as the means for retaining them as a patient. Quite frankly... if you have been caring for your parent at home and for whatever reason they have to go to the hospital and then to a "rehab" center... they ARE in a diminished capacity... that's all the center needs to keep them there.

were from the government and were here to help. lol..
i think i was supposed to be intimidated but im just not. im determined to find humor anywhere i can get it. i cant get plastered and watch tv dunwoody. i have hepc and cant drink booze. bummer, i usedta make the damndest best shine you ever choked down..

I would make a martini and watch Judge Judy. There are so many times that I just want to say to family and friends "then you take her!" Everyone has great ideas and no one else is in the trenches except for the lovely people on this website. Right now my dear Mother is pacing in front of the room because I am on the computer. So annoying but I have finally figured out that no one else in my family is going to do this job and when I get burned out I will be the "selfish" one. I take it one day at a time and try and find some joy where I can.

Welcome to HELL. Don't try to figure out how all this shit happens. It just does. Is it fair, especially when you and others "bleed" for our parents? Absolutely not! That's why it's hell. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what happened. The best thing you can do is have a drink and watch "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Anything else you attempt will only drive you more insane.

As a former CPS (child protective services) case mgr., I recommend you contact the case mgr. who is handling your mom's case. One of the reason's caring for a family member at home is having to explain "accidents". When visiting nurses come, follow with them whenever they are with mom. Also, dementia patients usually never want to take a shower. We did the research here at AZ State Univ. and found it feels like fire when the water hits their skin. Also orange is the best recognizable color for people with dementia. (I have greatly increased my orange apparel). All of the charges for home visits from the visiting nurses should be listed in a brochure. Someone might have made a typo and meant to charge $40 instead of $400. At any rate, call the agency and dispute the charge. You can ALWAYS dispute a charge with a company. If they don't correct errors, then find another company. You don't say at what stage you are in the "nurse" field. If you have not gotten your R.N. license yet, when one applies there will be a background check. If you already have it, the records from adult protective services are public information and the state's licensing board could obtain it. (FYI, if you have not worked as a professional nurse before, might I suggest you improve your spelling/grammar skills). The medical profession is one which, like the legal profession, needs accuracy. Good luck with finding your answers from APS!

aps came to our house yesterday to investigate the bed bugs.they were nice enough but if one more female comes into our home spouting halfbaked, poorly researched , conclusion jumping malarky im going to lose my normally cooperative demeanor. i am absolutely not a sexist person. i love and respect females but it seems everywhere i turn theres another female spewing crap they know nothing about and blocking out all reason and evidence. one wanted our bedding burned ( not necessary) another said to vaccum the house then throw the vacc cleaner away( absurd) and all claim that homeowners cannot eliminate the bugs without professional help. according to the cdc, epa, and fda an exterminator does not have to be your first recourse. one lady said she just attended a bed bug seminar. well give that girl a pretty wall certificate. ive personally spent over 100 hours reading on this subject from multiple agencies from multiple western countries. our bugs are gone. the adults died out first and ten days later we saw our last hatchling. they are offering to pay for the house treatment but id like to have traps placed first to verify that there are bugs remaining. aps does not realize that bug sniffing dogs are being crammed into service at such a fast pace right now that many are untrained and amount to a 500.00 farce..
@ babylamb,
i think you should arrange a personal visit with aps. in theory they are supposed to find solutions to your caregiving difficulties as opposed to upsetting / dividing households. they cant override your mothers wishes without first deeming her incompetant and thats not as easy as it sounds. it requires a judge having a face to face talk with your mother and all involved. aps deals in allegations, judges deal in facts..

Hello babylamb, I sure can sympathize with you. My mother (who lives with us) wrote a letter to a "friend" who had ties with the police. She told this friend that food was being withheld, that she felt she was "in prison", had no privacy, wasn't "allowed" out, etc., etc. none of which was true. This "friend" went to the police who then had the elder care agency investigate and sent a coordinator to our house. I also had calls from the police.
I called the care agency (from the government) to send someone out to my house and called a sibling to be present at the meeting (this sibling has no input, doesn't do any of the caregiving or pay a penny to help and sees mother once a year) but I felt I needed a family witness/backup.
During the meeting mother denied sending it at first and said "that friend shouldn't have publicized what I wrote".
The caregiver reviewed all the files, asked her questions in front of us and took a very good look around, looked at the list of medications and saw that the house was fully modified with shower bars, and all the necessary modifications.
Of course I never got an apology from mother and the sibling just blew everything off and went on his way. I did get a further call from police to ascertain that the coordinator had kept her appointment and did I need any further help?
At the meeting I had a list of all the medications and all the drs. and all the upcoming tests and appointments, also a list of the times and visits and names of all the government care workers.
This all happened because of mother's narcissism, and expecting and wanting her own way all the time, especially with food. She was supposed to be following a strict diet from her dr. but still wanted to gorge on the "forbidden" foods and I was not going to let that happen so she would end up in the hospital yet again! She was also recommended by the dr. to lose weight but didn't want to do that, and was sneaking in food.
So you see what one bad day for a senior can cause!! Just be on your guard, document everything, keep lists and the truth always outs.
I am sure you will be ok but I do sympathize. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to me and now there are police records on this. It just made me dislike her even more that I already did......especially knowing how hard I had worked to keep her in optimum health!!
You are doing your very best -- stand strong and pray. Everything will work out and it should not affect your future. The very best of luck to you!

wow. I am way off then. Seems to me if there is no info or investigation there is no red flag and someone is trying to fill a bed. Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you. In 2008 a "rehab facility" kept MIL bed ridden and wheelchair bound even though she could walk. They insisted she had at least 3 hours of physical therapy each day. I observed the PT... it was more like 20min. the balance of the time was waiting in line down the hall. The bottom line was they were setting her up for long term. I had to sign all kinds of legal documents and had all kinds of suits try to stop the removal from the "rehab facility". The problem was they knew she owned her home. Did you contact APS yourself? This is no time to leave things to others. I believe you only have 20 days care in the "rehab facility" with Medicare then the balance of the 100 days you have to pay a daily co pay. Goggle your local APS office... if you have a case number that makes things easier but talk to whom ever will listen, but cut to the chase you want to know about the red flag and how to get it removed. When ever you talk to these agencies it is best to be to the point and try not to go off on tangents, less is more. You'll need to have all your papers together...POA and medical authorizations etc. You can do this. For the next few days you will be lawyer instead of Nurse.

I was reported because of an accusation (unfounded,) that Dad made against me. The only reason I found out I was being investigated was because his social worker told me. They investigated and found no basis for the accusation. I had no contact with ADPS and wouldn't have known about any of it if the social worker hadn't told me. So, I would say try and get to the bottom of it but don't spend too much energy worrying. Health care professionals are required by law to report anything no matter how unfounded they believe it to be.

I agree with ba8alou. The discharge social worker, patient advocate or ombudsman can help keep you informed. You are entitled to know what the charge is although many states will protect the identity of the person making the complaint. You and your mom are also entitled to insist on a prompt investigation of the charges so the matter can be resolved before your mom is scheduled to leave rehab.

I would start with the social worker who is part of the discharge planning team, or if that hasn't produced results, patient advocate. I would not upset myself with speculation, find out what they are seeing.