We aren’t very close, but neighbourly and relationship is good. She tells me that someone comes into her house and moves things around, puts food in cupboards, washes up after they’ve had a meal. There is no one there. I advised the doctor, but she finds excuses not to go. Should I get the doctor to call on her?
She may have a UTI (these infections often have no other symptoms other than psychiatric ones in elders--who knew?).
Or she may be developing dementia. In any event, living with delusions like this is scary and she may benefit from meds.
Will she believe you if you tell her that a once a year with the doctor is a Medicare requirement?
The alternative is to call adult protective services. That takes a long time to make progress as it seems there have to be lots of reports of a senior in need of help before anything happens. I will say my mthr was saved by her county APS who tracked me down out of state with only my husband's name to go on.
Mthr would only see lady doctors, and APS made an appointment and then took her. They assumed she was indigent and didn't ask if she *wanted* to go. They asked if she'd like to go to McDonald's for a burger and ice cream. In the car, they asked if she minded if they went to an appointment at Dr so and so's and then get the burger. In court testimony, I called that positive manipulation. It was brilliant and it worked - and it saved her life. Once at the doctor's, mthr was on good behavior and went in to see the doc, had a blood draw, and exam. Thank goodness for manipulating social workers!!
She may be putting on a good front, but, she may not be eating that well, using good hygiene or paying bills. APS is another option. I'd keep notes so you can tell them what you've observed. I hope you can get her some help. She's fortunate you are observant.
As you're in the UK, my first suggestion would be that you look up Social Services for Older Adults on your Local Authority's website and give them a call for advice. You can do this in confidence.