My mom is 82 and is insulin dependent, has neuropathy and is becoming increasingly forgetful. She wants to live with us. My dad died 9 years ago, we have been trying to get mom to sell her house since dad died and it still hasn't happened. If she lives with us, she will be alone all day and we each work an hour or more from home. I know it won't work to have her live with us. I did offer this when dad died but she wouldn't sell the house and now it is harder than ever. I work full time and am too beat at the end of the day to do her cleaning and mine. Does Medicare or Medicaid pay for that ?
The fact that mom wants to live with you is a huge huge plus. Honey take advantage of this as over & over on this site are kids dealing with parents who won't flat move out of their home or accept caregivers.
Where to start....my suggestion is to go with mom to her next endochrine doctor visit to see if mom is at the point where her doc will write orders for caregiving or skilled nursing needed. if she's not at that point, well it's good to know. if she's a brittle diabetic, she might qualify for community based program to deal with diabetics. American diabetic Association works with communities usually through your regional Area on Aging to get outreach programs done. This site has a drop down list of AOA by state.
HOUSE: have you tried to sell it? And no interest?
Or you want to sell it and are kinda overwhelmed at where to start?
Is there a mortgage, heloc or other debt service on the house?
What is moms financial situation? If she can afford caregivers - she gets SS, right? Probably has savings, right? - she can pay for sitters or caregivers to be with her while she is in her transition phase of saying in your home till house sold and she moves into AL or NH. Her diabetes management is kinda going to direct what type of place mom moves into as some AL just won't do insulin injection diabetes care. (Btw my dad was a diabetic, it can be quite the adventure)
If you & hubs or your other siblings are going to need to pay for anything to get the house on the market, please, please, please get an memo of understanding or promissory note between mom & you all as to how house related costs are to be reimbursed before house goes onto market. Mom may never need Medicaid but if she does you want to clearly be able to show there was no gifting of moms $ from the sale of her home. I'd suggest yiu take moms current legal and see an elder law atty to review, update as needed and get that memo of understanding done soon.
It's all a lot to deal with. You are going to be overwhelmed. Break stuff down into smaller projects and be organized. Good luck!
Bottom line? As I and so many others have discovered here, the situation is NEVER hopeless. There are endless possibilities if you are willing to do some research.
The reason I'm telling you about Assisted Living is that it sounds as though you aren't in great shape to handle mom 24/7. What will you do when she gets sick? When she gets worse? Care giving is a full time job in itself, and you shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to do it.
Before you make any financial decisions on her behalf, research the laws. And right not, get paperwork so you have a DPOA and Health Care Proxy. Good luck!
Been there, done that... it's hell, but it gets better if you make good choices.
Over time, waivers started happening to off set the bigger costs of NH care. Some states have wide easily available waivers for AL that pay a good state reinbursement rate so facilities want to participate. Other states don't & for those an AL, if they even participate in waiver program, require a period of time (usually 2years) of private pay before they can get one of the set # of Medicaid beds. Like TX is a very very low reinbursement state so most AL do not participate in waivers, & due to this a lot of NH have residents who are might be ok in AL but are instead in a NH.
Waiver funding can change. What is trending now is that waiver funding is moving to PACE or expansion of other community based programs that keeps them in their home. There is a PACE center by us (Benson Center) that is medicaid waiver funded and seems to be going gangbusters (another is getting set up). But it's not all sunshine & champagne because what these programs do is shift some caregiving back to family either to do for free or private pay for outside of the elders time @ PACE or when the waiver paid inhome caregivers leaves. Most programs have a hour limit as to services provided. Once they go over the tipping point - maybe 32/38 hrs - its not cost effective so the waiver stops.
For family that works or has other priorities or just isn't cut out to caregive, or lives away, or the level of caregiving needed is too much for family to reasonably do, these programs aren't an option. I'm sure community based works for some. But it's not like have your elder being in an AL, NH or board & care home where there is 24/7 staff & oversight.
1.) Get a reverse mortgage and pay for someone to come into the house & help her during the day, or;
2.) Sell the house altogether, move in with you and use the proceeds of the house sale to pay for someone to spend the day with her in your home while you & your husband are working.
Assisted living is not really an answer---they don't stay with you all day. They just give help when needed.
Older people are stubborn when it comes to selling their homes----that is their biggest asset and they have control over it. Selling it means that they no longer have their biggest asset under their control. My mother is the same way. I hope the day never comes when she needs to go into a nursing home, because they will take everything she has due to her stubbornness about putting the house in my name. If the situation ever necessitated total care for her, I'd have her take out a reverse mortgage to pay for help in the home before going into a nursing home.
The next thing you need to address is whether or not your mom would qualify for Medicaid? If yes, then I suggest you contact your local Area on Aging to determine what if any type of benefit your state provides for Medicaid recipients for residential care. This varies by state since Medicaid is funded by both the federal government and individual states. Also, be prepared that your state may provide the benefit you want but call it something other than assisted living; for example, they may call it senior housing or adult group homes, etc.
Good luck!
In phase1 of my life, I was staff for certificate of review & other health issues for a really huge, huge COG in the regional planning sector in the 1980's. At the time AOA was in the same building. Now in 2016, this AoA has its own building, staff, 2 satellite offices, etc although is still a part of the COG for funding flow.
AoA is your tax $$ at work. The ombudsman resident & CHAP programs are usually paid by AoA as are Medicare benefits counseling. Some AoA are very well funded and have residential modification /repairs programs, transportation assistance. COGs & AoA can't advertise per se because of how their funded. That why many have no idea that they even exist. But AoA is an way underused resource. Your tax $ - use it!