Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
i have some simple advice. just listen carefully to her concerns. shes becoming near helpless and the smallest things are mountains to her. something as simple as overgrown toenails could make her life a constant misery. treat her like shes on a pleasure cruise and its her last cruise.. near the end of life she will likely have mobility problems. take steps to ensure that she doesnt become one of the 70 % of aged with a broken bone as a final hurrah. make sure that her primary sitting arrangement is as comfortable as possible. they sit a lot and a sore azz and pressure sores are a likelyhood. shes going to die at a point so she'll want to review her life . let her talk and offer genuine compliments when appropriate. communicate with key words emphesized. ie; i'll be back " every day -- every day -- every day.. try not to talk to her like shes a child. shes anything but.. read about end of life matters on websites so you know what to expect. uk has some of the best articles imo.. approach it as tho your a friend, advocate, and professional caregiver. its something youll look back on with pride. do a job youll be proud of. when she has visitors ease out of the room and let her nurture her other relationships without interferance. your the night watchman at a loony bin. that mindset gives you the detachment required to preserve your own sanity.
While your mother is still independent, make sure that all legal papers are prepared and signed by her so you have powers of attorney for financial issues as well as medical issues. Make sure HIPPA papers have been signed for each of her doctors so you can discuss medical issues with them. Since she is still independent, discuss all of this with her, what things she can do, what things she thinks she needs help with. When I started down this road five years ago with my parents (now 95 and 99), my mother could still handle some things but after a fall and broken leg, she lost the ability to deal with numbers accurately and could not do a number of things for herself. My dad has been limited for a long time because of near blindness. All the paperwork was in place so I could handle their financial lives. Whenever they are hospitalized for one reason or another, I bring the medical power of attorney with me so I make sure it is in the hospital's records. Also their primary care doctor has copies. And I provided copies to the medical insurance company as well. I provided copies of the financial power of attorney to their bank, their CPA, my dad's pension managing company. Without these documents in place, you won't be able to discuss problems with them as they come up.
Support groups can be found through a number of sources. The Alzheimer's Association has a number of support groups. Go to their website, www.alz.org, and put in your zip code and they will give you a list. Local hospitals may have support groups. If you have a senior center in your area, they may have a support group or know of one. Your local library may know of support groups. Churches sometimes have support groups for this issue.
Caregiving for yourself as well as your mother is very important. I am lucky that I have my husband in the background dealing with some of the day-to-day stuff when he can (he has cancer and is in chemo). I have stayed in touch with friends and do lunch or just send e-mails.
And I still work part time, part of my keeping myself for myself. As you can see, I have a very busy caregiving life I lead, but you can do it if you get the pieces in place that you will need down the road. Coming on a site like this to ask your question is a great start. Continue to follow people's questions and the answers shared. You will find solutions to problems you haven't even thought of yet. Good luck.
I've been taking care of my Mom who has Alzheimer's for 2.5 years. My Angel (dad) passes December 15, 2011). My mom started exhibiting odd behavior and was diagnosed 3 months later. Please keep in mind I'm only giving you my opinion from what I've experienced. I'm 53 also, and caring for her is killing me. (1) I don't know of groups other than Alzheimer's Association. Call the Agency on Aging; they may be able to refer you. (2) if you have siblings, sit down and talk to them as to what to expect from them (my brother does NOTHING TO HELP. It gets in the way of his social life (3) mostly important, take time for YOU. You can get burned out. I hired caregivers. My Mom said she wouldn't talk to them, but by the end of the day, she was talking her head off; (4) If your Mom gets angry, realize she is scared. If she's open to it, show you that you love her my Mom gets violent with me (she has never been a very nice person; and (5) another important thing. Don't make your Mom your no. 1 priority 24/7. Make sure you keep up with friends. I've lost most of mine because I haven't kept up with them, I'm living 2,5 hours away from them; and I suffer from chronic migraines.
All I have to say to you is don't beat yourself up. There will be good days and bad days. You are only human. When you feel yourself getting impatient, leave the room for a few minutes and get your wits back. Make time for yourself and your family. It is a great thing that your mother is independent. Let her do whatever she can do on her own until she can't. Prayers to you on this endeavor. There will be laughs as well as tears. Be strong and use this site as much as you need to. It really does help to know there are others in your situation. :)
As LEP stated cooperation from siblings, if you have them is very important. I would recommend, however, do not tell them what is expected of them. There are many on this site, including me, whose siblings refuse any assistance. These siblings use a wide variety of excuses but I think it comes down to they just are not emotionally capable of being in the caregiver role. It is hard and grueling work! Not everybody is capable to do the job that includes watching the continuous decline of our parents, it absolutely heartbreaking at times.
If you sense any sort of issue with siblings, contact a geriatric care manager, that will be responsible for making recommendations for your mom's care and only in her best interest. These care managers are normally social workers that will also attempt to get the adult children to work together for mom's benefit. It is best to do this early on or you could end up in a situation where your relationships with siblings will be destroyed.
Do not take anything personal that mom, siblings or anyone else says to you. Nobody understands the situation better than you. You will need a thick skin, probably made of titanium. Come to this site often, the caregivers here will listen and have a better understanding than anybody else you could possibly find. It is safe and acceptable to come here to vent your frustrations, ask questions, participate in discussions as you develop in this new role.
And do not forget, take care of yourself. Find the help you need when you need it. Check out day programs in your area. Do not wait until it is absolutely necessary, it will be much easier on mom to make adjustments like this early on. If you wait you will most likely encounter very strong objections. Good Luck!
Stay on this site and visit it often w/questions and experiences. You will find this is the greatest support group you can find. It has helped me tremendously understand what I had been going through with my still fisty w/dementia MIL. Today I am much stronger in coping with the aging process -- both her's and mine.
Read the little book "Talking To Alzheimer's" secretly in your spare time. For me, it set the tone for our interactions. I tend to be one of those people who need to "get it right" all the time; this sort of situation never lets you win. Get in the habit of eating well and taking 40 min. daily for exercise, even if it's pushups and situps in your living room. Martyrs don't seem to score big in this event, fill your chest with love and know that it isn't forever.
I would suggest to get educated and seek out help early and often. Don't wait until you're nearly burnt out to reach out and get some assistance. There's lots of help if you're open to it so you don't have to go it alone and feel isolated through it all.
People here in agingcare are very accommodating and warm, so if you encounter any issues that you find difficult to handle, do not hesitate to ask question and you will find helpful answers. Caregiving is a very stressful task, which can drain you physically, emotionally and mentally. A lot of caregivers in long term care facilities and even family caregivers providing care to loved ones who are dependent on long term care services also experience stress and even depression. There are also a lot of senior caregiver support group, I have a list of caregiver support group that you can check, I have included their website and contact details in case you want to give them a call so you can raise your concerns:
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
near the end of life she will likely have mobility problems. take steps to ensure that she doesnt become one of the 70 % of aged with a broken bone as a final hurrah.
make sure that her primary sitting arrangement is as comfortable as possible. they sit a lot and a sore azz and pressure sores are a likelyhood.
shes going to die at a point so she'll want to review her life . let her talk and offer genuine compliments when appropriate.
communicate with key words emphesized. ie; i'll be back " every day -- every day -- every day..
try not to talk to her like shes a child. shes anything but..
read about end of life matters on websites so you know what to expect. uk has some of the best articles imo..
approach it as tho your a friend, advocate, and professional caregiver. its something youll look back on with pride. do a job youll be proud of.
when she has visitors ease out of the room and let her nurture her other relationships without interferance.
your the night watchman at a loony bin. that mindset gives you the detachment required to preserve your own sanity.
Support groups can be found through a number of sources. The Alzheimer's Association has a number of support groups. Go to their website, www.alz.org, and put in your zip code and they will give you a list. Local hospitals may have support groups. If you have a senior center in your area, they may have a support group or know of one. Your local library may know of support groups. Churches sometimes have support groups for this issue.
Caregiving for yourself as well as your mother is very important. I am lucky that I have my husband in the background dealing with some of the day-to-day stuff when he can (he has cancer and is in chemo). I have stayed in touch with friends and do lunch or just send e-mails.
And I still work part time, part of my keeping myself for myself. As you can see, I have a very busy caregiving life I lead, but you can do it if you get the pieces in place that you will need down the road. Coming on a site like this to ask your question is a great start. Continue to follow people's questions and the answers shared. You will find solutions to problems you haven't even thought of yet. Good luck.
(1) I don't know of groups other than Alzheimer's Association. Call the Agency on Aging; they may be able to refer you. (2) if you have siblings, sit down and talk to them as to what to expect from them (my brother does NOTHING TO HELP. It gets in the way of his social life (3) mostly important, take time for YOU. You can get burned out. I hired caregivers. My Mom said she wouldn't talk to them, but by the end of the day, she was talking her head off; (4) If your Mom gets angry, realize she is scared. If she's open to it, show you that you love her my Mom gets violent with me (she has never been a very nice person; and (5) another important thing. Don't make your Mom your no. 1 priority 24/7. Make sure you keep up with friends. I've lost most of mine because I haven't kept up with them, I'm living 2,5 hours away from them; and I suffer from chronic migraines.
If you sense any sort of issue with siblings, contact a geriatric care manager, that will be responsible for making recommendations for your mom's care and only in her best interest. These care managers are normally social workers that will also attempt to get the adult children to work together for mom's benefit. It is best to do this early on or you could end up in a situation where your relationships with siblings will be destroyed.
Do not take anything personal that mom, siblings or anyone else says to you. Nobody understands the situation better than you. You will need a thick skin, probably made of titanium. Come to this site often, the caregivers here will listen and have a better understanding than anybody else you could possibly find. It is safe and acceptable to come here to vent your frustrations, ask questions, participate in discussions as you develop in this new role.
And do not forget, take care of yourself. Find the help you need when you need it. Check out day programs in your area. Do not wait until it is absolutely necessary, it will be much easier on mom to make adjustments like this early on. If you wait you will most likely encounter very strong objections. Good Luck!
http://www.infolongtermcare.org/senior-caregiver-support/elderly-caregiver-support-organization/
See All Answers