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Hello everyone,
New member here needing some tips. I am The primary caretaker of my 93 yr old grandmother. Honestly, we are super blessed because she is pretty independent. We have gotten a good routine down with her meds and found a great doctor who my aunt and I are in contact with for her care. She has not been diagnosed with any cognitive things such as dementia or Alzheimer’s however due to her age, we have notice some slight confusion and “sundowning” which I am told is normal. The thing I need some help with, if anyone has any, is she has been experiencing these anxiety attacks which have never been part of her life before. They started about maybe a year or little more ago and she was placed on a low dose anxiety medicine. I keep her very current on her meds but she still experiences these random attacks where she feels like she needs to get out of the house and if she could actually run, I would expect her to take off running! I can’t find a correlation to what may trigger these attacks and I have been in communication with her doctor on them but of course it is a trial and error thing with medication. I thought maybe I could reach out here and see if anyone has experienced this with caregiving or if you guys had any advice. I just want her remaining year to be happy and comfortable. She has always been a happy and optimistic person, so this is absolutely out of character for her.
Thanks in advance and I hope to really connect here cuz man this isn’t for the weak!

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You've said she's sundowning, but she's already on meds. Other than reviewing her meds with her primary care physician and making sure her environment doesn't contribute to the sundowning, like turning lights on before you think they need to be on; distracting/engaging her during the time of day when that behavior usually manifests, etc., that's as much as can be done.

Keep her protected from things like negative, dark or violent media - even the news.

The other change is your own expectations about her future. Can you keep her comfortable? Yes. Can you make her "happy"? Probably not. A common sentiment on this forum is that dementia means the end of happy. Our loved one's breaking and broken brains simply can't be made happy anymore. Also, you're not responsible for her happiness. You can't and shouldn't attempt to be her entertainment committee, as this is unsustainable unless you don't want a life of your own.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Sundowning is a sign of cognitive decline. So is anxiety. She may be in the early stages so testing may not show up anything yet. MRIs usually show early signs but I would not put her thru one at her age.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Hi. I don’t know you, & I’m not judging when I speak, I’m just throwing it out there -
perhaps she just needs some reassurance. It sounds like you’ve gotten things in place for her, but they are still changes, and changes can be a little stressful. If she’s still has her cognitive abilities, it’s very possible she sees her own moments of confusion, her moments of sundowning, and maybe it upsets her. Maybe because she can’t predict the future or maybe she’s afraid that those are signs of what’s to come. I suggest just talk to her. Ask her what’s up, give her a hug, reassure her, listen to her. we all need that. There’s nothing quite so powerful as a human touch of caring by just listening.

OK, that’s it from me. You have a blessed day!
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Reply to Lizhappens
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Sundowning is not a normal part of the aging process but associated with Alzheimer's and dementia. Below is a link to a good article about Sundowning and how to deal 3it:

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/medical/ways-to-manage-sundown-syndrome/?cmp=PDSK9M7DPWKGR&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=15013235214&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6_HSBhCpARIsANvVlta0ewvqcfhMlE1qax3j9HuhXZ8EB4CBrG9MpYRyTlwVK5n5OIng1w4aAqoxEALw_wcB

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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It could very well be cognitive decline. My mom is well medicated, but her anxiety in the last few weeks has increased some. I try to reassure her, but she won't believe she is in a safe place. I bought her a new TV and that is helping somewhat as a distraction.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Thank you everyone for your thoughts, experience, and suggestions. I really appreciate you guys taking time to help me out.
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Reply to AntCoco81
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Welcome AntCoco!

You are right, this isn't for the weak!

I have a couple thoughts on this; If she is truly suffering anxiety, and her current med is not working, then it is time to talk to the doctor about trying something else. Ask the doctor if her current medication is habit-forming. That is, after a while, her body will begin to crave more, and she could become agitated in anticipation of her next dose. I experienced this with my husband, when he was prescribed Celexa and Xanax for anxiety (or depression). I noticed he would get very agitated an hour before his upcoming dose, and realized that he had become "addicted" and it would take more and more of the drug to calm him.

I did NOT want to continue increasing the dosage of these addictive medications, so I gradually weaned him off of them, and started using Trazodone, and more recently, Depakote.

As I was reading your comment about her wanting to take off running, I wondered if she has bursts of energy and no way to burn it off. Maybe she would benefit from some more exercise, like going out for a walk, or even helping with household chores.

I hope you find the right solution so you can enjoy having Grandma spend her final years with you!
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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