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I am caring for my aunt who had 2 strokes and recently, a broken hip. (I am a regular poster, so I won't go through the whole story). Lately, I have been waking up in the middle of the night and unable to return to sleep. I try to get to bed between 10 and 11:30, but now I wake up like at 2 or 3 a.m. and can't sleep. Aunty is still in rehab until this Saturday. In the past, she would call me out of bed in the middle of the night to either turn the heat on or off if she was too cool or too warm. Then after I took care of her, I couldn't get back to sleep. Do you think that this problem is stress-related? I sometimes take Tylenol PM pills for sleep, but I don't like depending on pills since I already take other meds.Any advice?

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Yes, it is frequent. DH hasnt been able to sleep since dad come four years ago. But now that Dad died a week ago, DH is sleeping more.
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I was waking and worrying. DR prescribed small dose of Citalopram Celexa to relieve my anxiety and not make me sleep through call for assistance
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With all that we are going through, it is normal to wake up and sometimes not be able to go to sleep. This usually happens when I start thinking and worrying. I have made a rule with myself that when this starts to happen I tell myself I am not going to worry in my bed but will address my worries at 8 am the next morning after at least one cup of coffee!
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Yes, I find that frequently I wake 2-3 PM and cannot go back to sleep - turning a problem related to the mother I care for over and over in my mind. Sometimes I take non-prescription sleep aids. Some time I drink milk and eat cheese. Last night I got up and wrote on a book I am working on for about one hour. Didn't help me go back to sleep but made me a lot happier.
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Yes! For the first time in my life I asked my doc. He gave me a very small dose of xanax. Just enough to help me relax and fall back to sleep. No harm in asking to see if it can be added to your other meds.
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Exercise, walk 3 miles a day, or do an exercise tape, zumba or dance. Your sleep will be effortless, deep, and easy. Plus you will feel better about yourself.
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Sometimes I will fall asleep in my recliner, next to my husband. We will go to bed, then I either cannot fall asleep or will sleep a couple of hours, then wake up with restless legs, my mind racing, etc. This goes on for an hour or two, then I go back to bed and fall asleep. I'm always up around 4 a.m. in order to have some "me" time before he and the dog are needing attention. It's a great life!
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Yes! I was waking around 3 and unable to go back to sleep, so I was down to about 4 hours a night. Not sustainable. I started taking liquid melatonin, which really helps without leaving me groggy in case I need to get up overnight with my dad. I also upped my exercise by swimming about 20 mins a day, started eating more nutritious foods, and a friend has been teaching me EFT. All of this put together has me sleeping 6-7 hours a night, and I feel like a new person. Hope some of this may help you!
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I would wake up at 2am frequently. A bowl of milk and cereal helped me go back to sleep. Sometimes low blood sugar disturbs sleep, but a little milk will solve that.
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I meant that I wake between 2-3 AM! Home with Dad
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I have just seen and read this twice. I see a sleep dr. and take klonopin/anxiety and haven't had the opportunity to try it but will if I don't have my precsription for some reason. My son was the first one to tell me about and then I read it or heard it on tv. You inhale slowly for 8 seconds, hold it for 8 seconds, slowly exhale for 8 seconds, hold it. Do this 3 times and it's supposed to relax you. We don't breathe deeply enough and this is suppose fill our lungs with fresh air so that it will relax us. My husband has NEVER had any trouble sleeping. For 43 years it always made me mad (not really but kind of :) that he could fall asleep sitting at a mall in a chair while I struggled to stay asleep. All of a sudden a few mos. ago he started having trouble waking up in the middle of the night. Now he takes something to relax him. Don't know why our brains do this to us. Good Luck and God Bless
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I wake too at that time on occasion. I think the added stress of caregiving and anticipation of her coming home can create insomnia and restlessness. I get up and have a glass of milk and go back to bed. I try not to think of things and clear my mind using imagery. I imagine a little stream with trees and flowers with birds singing, a peaceful place. I sometimes use nature cd's which help me to go back to sleep. Sometimes we have to tell ourselves that things will work out, we can do this & it'll be ok. So what if your aunt doesn't get a bath at exactly 10am or if you don't get the laundry in right away. During the day if you do some sort of exercise, running the vacuum, a short walk, weeding your flowers etc will aid in sleeping well. I sometimes do chair exercises and that helps to. Caregiving isn't an easy task, but adding some exercise on top of your caregiving duties should help. You need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to care for anyone else. I take care of my dad, so as a caregiver I've learned not to get 'stressed' out over things, it takes practice but I have less stress not.
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Sleep problems are rampant these days, but I think caregivers may have even more problems than the average person. We never know when we have to spring into action so it's hard to totally let go and relax into sleep.

Ideally, exercise as suggested would be the best answer. Meditation can help, as well. Clearing our minds is tough but exercise and meditation can go a long way toward doing that.

There are some natural sleep remedies available that don't have the dependency or side effect issues of many prescriptions but it's best to clear that with your doctor if you take any other medications or have health issues.

It's recommended that we stay away from computer and smart phone light for several hours before sleep, too. I'm a reader so that works for me but I know that prying our eyes off the computer can be tough - especially when time alone is at a premium.

Keep the ideas coming! This is a huge issue across the board.
Carol
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You might try drinking some Sleepytime tea at night before you go to bed, or if you want you can make your own herbal tea of 1 part Valerian Root (for anxiety), 1 part Skullcap, 1 part Hops, 1 part Chamomile, and 2 parts Spearmint. Steep for 20 min. and sweeten to taste with a little honey or Stevia. That will help you sleep and it is all natural rather than having to be put on some sort of medication!
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Waking early morning and not being able to return to sleep can also be a symptom of depression. There are good depression screening tools on line and most doctors can diagnose if there are additional concerns. Many anti-depressants are safer than most sleeping, anxiety medications with less side effects and dependency issues. One mentioned was klonopin. It can be helpful in some cases but is extremely addictive and very difficult to 'come off of' if taken for long periods. Depression is common among people in your type of situation and anti-depressants (if that is the case) can be beneficial in other areas of functioning. Sleep deprivation over time can cause all sorts of problems and I would suggest seeking a professional opinion if it doesn't resolve itself in a couple of weeks. Good luck in whatever you pursue and sweet dreams!
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Many caregivers are older themselves and sleep often becomes a problem in our later years. frequently the cause of waking up may be a need to use the bathroom. This can be helped by limiting beverages during the evening and avoiding any caffiene or alcohol. if you are afraid of bladder leakage and most don't care to admit it, there is no shame in wearing a pad at night.. just a pany liner is often enough.
I am wary of all the so called 'natural" sleep aids on the market both because they are unproven, not controlled and frequently interact with precription medications.
Stress of course is the obvious villam for caregivers and many others and previous work patterns may also play a part. many people who have been required to be "on call' for their jobs find it difficult to avoid waking up fully alert in the middle of the night. Having available a small dose of a relaxant such as zanax or vallium may just be enough to lull you back to sleep. just having it on the bedside table may make you secure enough to rarely need to take it.
Pain is another frequent cause of insomnia so taking a pain reliever as simple as tylenol is often enough to ensure sound sleep.
Persoanally after i have taken care of the bathroom issues and have beed awake for an hour despite thinking of calming nature scenes and cuddling the cat against my better advice I get up and make a nice cup of tea. i have one of those mug hop plates beside my bed and it is often mostly still there when I wake up a few hurs later to start my day. Insomnia does not have a one size fits all solution.
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Having "me" time first thing in the morning for a couple of hours was mandatory. It helps keep your sanity. Even if I had to lose some sleep, I needed that time.
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Getting up and writing works well for me--allows me to process whatever I'm worrying about, or get my mind off it and write about something else entirely. I keep a blog and am working on a book, which even if I never publish is helpful to write.

For most of my adult life I have had insomnia even though I exercised regularly, meditated, didn't drink, stayed away from caffeine, etc. I was on Ambien and/or Xanax for 10+ years, often with an OTC sleep aid as well. Then finally I decided I was done with it and just stopped, and after a few rough nights realized I can in fact sleep without pharmaceutical help. But I do think you can take these meds for a few weeks or months or even years to get through a rough time, and then stop taking them and return to equilibrium. I think my body even learned how to sleep over the years on meds, so that after a while I no longer needed them.

Be careful with regular use of Tylenol PM/ Benadryl/diphenhydramine HCl...long term use has been linked to Alzheimer's! Wish I'd known that 10 years ago.
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After a year of caring for my Mom, my sleep was very poor. I had to sleep in the same bed as my Mom (too long of a story to go into). First I had trouble falling asleep, then she would wake me almost every night by being restless and talking in her sleep. Many times her dreams would wake her up, and she would tap me on the shoulder and ask if I was asleep, then ask me a question. Plus having to use the bathroom. By the end of the first year, I needed medical intervention. My primary doctor but me on anti-depressants (Celexa) and a sleep aid (Ambien). The Celexa helped my anxiety and mood, but the Ambien made me almost non-responsive to my Mom's needs. My doctor didn't feel comfortable prescribing after that and referred me to a Psychiatrist. I was mortified! But I needed help, so I had to go. To anyone out there, that ends up in this situation, don't get yourself upset about it like I did. It turns out, the Psychiatrist made me feel very at ease, and over the course of the next year he prescribed and fine tuned my medication that made it possible for me to care for my Mom, in a much calmer and better mood. It's not a cure all. I still had my moments of being cranky from losing sleep, or just having a bad day, but I think somethings are unavoidable when your caregiving. I hope this helps someone. Don't suffer in silence. It's bad for your health, and the person your caring for will suffer with you. Ask your doctor for help.
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I keep a worry journal next to my bed. Before I started taken care of my gran I had trouble sleeping. I would wake with my mind racing full of all the stuff I needed to get done. I started to write them down when I woke up. I found it help because I wasn't trying to "remember" everything I needed to do the next day. It also aloud my to voice my worries with out upsetting other people in the family. I tend to overthink situations. I find that if I write down a short list before going to bed it has cut down on the number of nights I wake up frantic, with the racing mind. Good luck!
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I had problem with sleep before Mom. I read to make me tired but I'm a light sleeper. I can't take Tylenol PM. Groggy in the morning. Melatonin may help.
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The stress of caregiving is immense, and I do awaken with worry about all the issues I know are coming. I have noticed that I sleep in a tri-phaic pattern. Usually, I awaken after three or six hours of sleep. Blood sugar dipping is usually my issue, so I plan quick, small meals to eat in the middle of the night. Then, it is just a matter of calming my "what if's" down and remembering all the blessings that I have. I find that if I concentrate on blessing the list of people that I currently know (good AND bad), have known in the past (living and dead), and hope to know in the future (only the fun ones), I find that I awaken more refreshed in the morning. Exercise does help, as well. Just remember that no matter what happens, you are a capable person and God shall help you overcome! It is still very hard! Best of luck to you!
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I developed a pattern of very light sleeping when my dog had a neurological problem that caused problems if I didn't get him outside quickly. After he died, there were other things that woke me up in the middle of the night and things that made me tired during the day, so I will catch a nap when I can and I don't feel guilty about it. I'm of an age when waking up in the middle of the night isn't unusual, so I'll go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, adjust the temperature and go back to the bed, which by then is cool. Best sleeping is from 4-6 am when the air temp is cooler. I sleep less when it's hot and humid, when I hear the neighbors outside, etc. but when I am physically tired I can sleep through a tornado. So I get regular exercise, try to accomplish at least one thing a day, and don't take problems to bed. I like the idea of a worry journal. For me, I will write down what I need to do the next day or two before I go to bed, so I don't have to think about it. Another trick for relaxing that my mother taught me: If you can relax your tongue, you will relax your body. Try suspending it in your mouth, not touching anything.
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Yes, caregiving (especially like I had to do out of state and for an extended period) is VERY stressful. So you will have periods of Sleeplessness.
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I think we get so used to being on call 24/7 that we have trouble letting our guard down. I take half an OTC sleeping pill (diphenhydramine 25mg) and it usually does the job. Occasionally I need to take a whole one. My doc is okay with me taking this regularly. Any light except red can rouse you, too, so I use a sleep mask to keep me in the dark. And I set an alarm just to keep from waking up to check the time.
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Hi Gospelgirl - Yes, I read your previous post. I gather you decided to care for Aunty after all and are stressing out about her coming home. And Yes - disrupted sleep patterns are very normal under these challenging (care giving) times; especially when you are trying to establish a new routine and get organized. I once woke up with a full-blown panic attack. I hope it doesn't happen to you, but if it does, don't be too surprised. Never had one before in my life. Scared the heck out of me. Thought I was having a heart attack at first. Couldn't breathe - disoriented. I paced around and told myself it was OK, it would pass. I don't think "Kathyt1' knows about your disabilities; so walking 3miles/daily won't work for you. And with all the meds you are currently on - I'd try to stick with the milk suggestion from Pam (I do that too) and some deep breathing. Oh - and if Aunty is waking you up in the middle of the night to adjust the room temperature, it sounds like SHE needs a sleeping pill. :)
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I have had insomnia since I took care of my Dad 24/7 the month before he died. That was holding him most of the night and day.That was 3 years ago. My name says Charles. That was my Dad's name. I am his daughter.
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For heaven's sake, look at the pressure you are under. If you were sleeping easily you'd probably be out of your mind.
Caregiving is hard. We worry all the time: Did you take your pills? What is your glucose? Are you wearing a Depends? Have you walked today? Would you like to go for a ride? Did you have lunch?
I'm a full-time caregiver for my husband and chipping in with cousins to care for my aunt.
Had lunch yesterday with my SIL visiting from No Cal. She said to hubby and me, 'What do you do for fun?" Peculiar silence from our side of the table.
Get medical help. Better living through chemistry. Good luck
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YES it's VERY COMMON to experience insomnia in your situation. (I've been a counselor for many years, taught lots of seminars on Stress Mangement & can confirm that any high-demand situation and any significant change, positive or negative increases streets levels and can really disrupt sleep). The 2:00-3:00 a.m. time frame is very common as well. My husband struggles to return to sleep when he wakes with "busy brain" at that time of night. All the above responses are good ones & I've found the cereal with milk to be very helpful as well. 3 additional suggestions I would offer are 1) If you have a cell phone, keep it on the nightstand with the volume very low or off. Then if/when you wake up you can check to see if you've had a call but won't be disturbed while you are sleeping. 2) because I share a bed with a very light sleeper, I use headphones connected to my smartphone, iPod or iPad & listen to something designed to help me fall asleep. I like the sound of a thunderstorm & use "Amazing Midnight Thunderstorm" (downloaded from iTunes) or 1 of several other albums they have available. (You can listen to samples at no charge to find something soothing for you). A CD or cassette would work just as well & if it's just you, the headphones wouldn't be necessary. 3) the medications suggested above are good ones but I've found that Xanax has a "bounce back" effect when it wears off for some people. My sleep medications are prescribed by a psychiatrist and Valium or Librium (a small dose as suggested above) tends to last a couple of hours longer & wears off more gently.
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I'm so upset by this question I have to exit. I'll recover my brains if anyone wants to connect later.
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