His death was very sudden and completely unexpected. It started as any normal day, well the fourth of July, two days before my 19th birthday. As the day went on he never showed any signs that he may be ill at all. Then all of a sudden, while sitting down for cake and such me and my mom found him on my front porch having a seizure which led to him stopping breathing; he came back to me but then his heart gave out and he died on my front porch. Even to this day i find myself crying randomly out of no where or just having a mixed of emotions. He was so young, only 60 years old, and he never got sick.
Eight months is not a long time at all to be grieving. Grief is very personal. There is no set time line where its not okay to still be grieving. If you have loved someone dearly you will always have an empty space in your heart.
If you need to talk to someone there are grief counselors out there where you can release some of the emotion you are feeling. People on this site are very kind and understanding and have been where you are. You will get some solace just from that. Don't be hard on yourself. God Bless.
You are just a year older than my son's age and your dad was a year older than my husband. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you. ((Hugs to you!))
I lost my dad to brain cancer when I was 50 and my dad was 77. It was kind of sudden too, but not like what you experienced. I lost my dad within 2 1/2 months from diagnosis.
That was four and a half years ago. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like a long time ago. And there are days where it still takes my breath away that he is gone from this earth.
In my rambling, I'm trying to reassure you that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Pffft! 8 months is nothing in the grief process. Be gentle to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. What happened in your life is HUGE.
Over four years later, I still think of my dad daily. The tears are down to a monthly thing, basically, and good memories have taken their place.
It's a long process. Please don't beat yourself up about how you are "supposed" to be at this point. The grief is still fresh and will be for quite awhile. Crying is good stress relief and is very normal. It's going to hit hard on anniversaries like his birthday, death, etc. Those are hard days. Just plan to give yourself some slack those days. You deserve it because you had a big loss.
Sending you good thoughts,
windytown
So, if you're wondering about this because others are tired of hearing it, there's nothing you can do about that - it's your grief not theirs - it's just that as was suggested, maybe finding other outlets like a grief counselor might be something to consider.
On my end, I did the midwestern thing where we just pretend everything is all right, go about our business, and cry only in private. Different strokes for different folks, I say - it worked for me but it's definitely not for everyone. :-)
I am so sorry for your loss. God bless!