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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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If you have not had a Care Meeting with the staff and administrators of the facility, call one immediately. Don’t take “we’re too busy to meet until next month” for an answer.
Have you observed any of his behavior while visiting him? In personal experience and those of my friends who had or have loved ones in facilities, I’ve observed that facilities put up with a LOT. My mom’s Memory Care could be a nightmare. People setting off the alarm and trying to get out, people screaming “HELP ME!!!” all day, people becoming combative with others and the staff (my mom), people falling... They don’t tell a family the resident must leave unless they feel their staff’s and the other residents’ safety is in jeopardy. They also require support from the family—working together as a team. If they don’t feel the family is responding to these “warnings”, they ha e to take further, more drastic action. These directives seldom come out of the blue.
Does this come as a surprise to you or have you seen it coming? (Be honest, now) Have you gotten calls before about his acting out? If so, what did you do about it? Have you requested-he see the doctor for possible medication evaluation?
Call the social worker at the facility or the Director of Nursing and set up this Care Meeting right away. If you can bring someone with you for support, do so. My daughter came with me. Bring notes and take notes. Ask for their advice. Good luck and let us know.
If he has Dementia, then he has no filter and trained staff should recognize this. He is a product of a different generation. Mean, they should be able to handle mean. He can't be the first person to be mean. Now if he hits thats not good. But, there are meds for this. Yes, we don't want LOs doped up but we don't want them agitated either.
I agree, call a meeting, that is your right. Ask what can be done. Do they recommend medication. Be firm and tell them you cannot take him home.
Verbal accusations. NH has not said violent. Verbally mean at times. Otherwise. Talked to other residents and staff cordially. He has vascular dementia. 76 yr old. (Neurologist evaluation).
Like Joann said, he is of a different generation and making bigoted remarks to black staff members while not nice is hardly uncommon and probably happens frequently in nursing homes. The facility he's in knows this.
Meet with the powers that be and find out just how serious they are about asking him to leave. It might be a good idea to cozy up to the social worker at the facility too. The social worker can help the current situation but can also help if you have to take your dad somewhere else.
I really don't see, unless he is violent, that being mean and a bigot when u have Dementia, is grounds to ask someone to leave. If staff is that thin skinned, then they shouldn't be working in a NH. He can't be the only resident to make racial remarks.
When Mom was in a NH, one of the residents was using the F word and calling the aide a whore and some other not so nice things. I walked by, she said Hi to me and how pretty my top was and went right back to putting the aide down.
So let me see if I understand, your husband, that has been diagnosed with dementia, is verbally rude to some of the black caregivers and nice to other black caregivers?
Have you seen this behavior 1st hand or is it the caregiver saying it was verbally abusive with no witnesses? I ask because I had surgery and while in the hospital I asked the nurses aid, who was a black woman, if i could get a basin of water to wash up, she brought those washcloth things, started pulling them out to clean around my incision and when I asked her to wash her hands or wear gloves, she made it about skin color. I was floored. I didn't know what she had been doing and I wasn't interested in getting an infection, I wouldn't have cared if she was purple, she wasn't protecting my health or complying with hygiene rules. Yet, for 3 days everytime I saw her, she loudly accused me of being prejudice. She should have been fired for not washing between rooms, not to mention verbal harrassment of a patient. It is unfortunate but not all claims of racism are directed at the racists. Some people make everything about color, when in reality they are the only ones that have an issue with skin color.
My point is, make sure what is actually taking place, don't let them use hearsay as cause to kick him out. Documented proof, witnesses that are disinterested 3rd parties, not coworkers that tend to cover for one another.
Perhaps that particular caregiver can have someone else care for your husband. There are other solutions to this kind of problem.
Thank you for the information. Have they actually told you that he will have to leave? They cannot just kick him out without finding alternate care for him. Your husband has rights too. They have to give you sufficient time to find another facility. That aside, have they looked into his physical health as a cause for this meanness? A UTI can result in very aberrant behavior. Ask them to do a psychiatric evaluation. Maybe his meds need adjusting. As to his racist remarks. I remember once my mother being accused of racist remarks. The social worker at the NH said that they understand that some people were raised up in a different culture, hence the racist remarks and blah, blah, blah. I took offense at that because she was assuming something she had no right to. I told her my mother would never be intentionally ugly to someone unless she was off her meds or had a UTI. I insisted she get tested and sure enough, she had a UTI. She has been at this facility for over a year and this has not been an issue again.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Please give us some more details about your husband’s condition, and more details of in what way he is being mean or prejudiced. Is he violent?
How long has he been in the facility?
Specifically, what behavior does the facility object to?
Have you observed any of his behavior while visiting him? In personal experience and those of my friends who had or have loved ones in facilities, I’ve observed that facilities put up with a LOT. My mom’s Memory Care could be a nightmare. People setting off the alarm and trying to get out, people screaming “HELP ME!!!” all day, people becoming combative with others and the staff (my mom), people falling... They don’t tell a family the resident must leave unless they feel their staff’s and the other residents’ safety is in jeopardy. They also require support from the family—working together as a team. If they don’t feel the family is responding to these “warnings”, they ha e to take further, more drastic action. These directives seldom come out of the blue.
Does this come as a surprise to you or have you seen it coming? (Be honest, now) Have you gotten calls before about his acting out? If so, what did you do about it? Have you requested-he see the doctor for possible medication evaluation?
Call the social worker at the facility or the Director of Nursing and set up this Care Meeting right away. If you can bring someone with you for support, do so. My daughter came with me. Bring notes and take notes. Ask for their advice. Good luck and let us know.
I agree, call a meeting, that is your right. Ask what can be done. Do they recommend medication. Be firm and tell them you cannot take him home.
Meet with the powers that be and find out just how serious they are about asking him to leave. It might be a good idea to cozy up to the social worker at the facility too. The social worker can help the current situation but can also help if you have to take your dad somewhere else.
When Mom was in a NH, one of the residents was using the F word and calling the aide a whore and some other not so nice things. I walked by, she said Hi to me and how pretty my top was and went right back to putting the aide down.
Have you seen this behavior 1st hand or is it the caregiver saying it was verbally abusive with no witnesses? I ask because I had surgery and while in the hospital I asked the nurses aid, who was a black woman, if i could get a basin of water to wash up, she brought those washcloth things, started pulling them out to clean around my incision and when I asked her to wash her hands or wear gloves, she made it about skin color. I was floored. I didn't know what she had been doing and I wasn't interested in getting an infection, I wouldn't have cared if she was purple, she wasn't protecting my health or complying with hygiene rules. Yet, for 3 days everytime I saw her, she loudly accused me of being prejudice. She should have been fired for not washing between rooms, not to mention verbal harrassment of a patient. It is unfortunate but not all claims of racism are directed at the racists. Some people make everything about color, when in reality they are the only ones that have an issue with skin color.
My point is, make sure what is actually taking place, don't let them use hearsay as cause to kick him out. Documented proof, witnesses that are disinterested 3rd parties, not coworkers that tend to cover for one another.
Perhaps that particular caregiver can have someone else care for your husband. There are other solutions to this kind of problem.