Were not sure if she actually thinks she's stealing when she does it, or maybe she thinks she has the right to eat anything she wants.
We have a camera in the kitchen because we were because we were concerned that one of them was stealing pain pills. And we recently notice the same worker we were supicous about will eat help her self to food without asking (I glance at the footage from time to time). Well today I noticed the last muffin from a container was missing, and I glanced at the footage to discover that she had eaten a muffin, two sausage links (she apparently cooked four when my mom asked for two), a pancake, cookies, and two puddings (she said the fridge was mess and she wanted to clean it even though not was just cleaned by someone else). How do I know how many she ate (I checked the receipts in my email to see how many were in the package, and I also noticed pudding cups on the top of the trash... neither were open before today.
I always provided meals and snacks. How long of a shift is she working?
What my concern would be any missing pain killers. Aides are not allowed to dispense pills. They are not medically trained. They can remind but they aren't to touch the meds unless they r medtechs. I would personally fill a weekly pill box and make sure I hid the bottles or took them with me. Facilities use blister packs to keep count. Each Nurse has to write down what time the med was given and initial it. The next nurse should be aware when a med was not given prior. Or, that a med dose is missing. You can have bloodwork done to see what levels of pain relievers are in Moms system. I would also think that you can't get Mom refills for these pills because Mom is only allowed a certain amount in a 30 day period. So thats how u found they are missing.
My husband and I fill many pill sorters at a time and set only one out each week. The bottles and extra sorters are hidden.
Please pause to think if your caregiver is working a 6-8 hr day, eating from your frig. during the day is way way better than them leaving for 30 min to run to a drive thru or walk to the park to eat a bagged lunch they bring in.
If your mom likes this caregiver, I’d figure out a way not to make this an issue. That caregiver can find another job & walk out.
Perhaps go to Costco & buy a tub of chicken salad / egg salad, bread, bag of oranges, dz cans of soup and that’s what caregiver makes for lunch for mom & her. You set the menu and buy what can work for your moms budget. Plus it gives them a shared experience to talk about..... like whether chicken noodle is better than chicken & rice.
I hire through an agency, they are NOT allowed to eat her food. this had nothing to do with giving breaks.
I can't imagine that anyone in somebody else's home would think she "had the right" to help herself to food, any more than to anything else that didn't belong to her. But she is entitled to be treated with some practical consideration. If she's had no break and she's making lunch for your mother, for example, it's rather hard to expect her not to touch a thing, isn't it? - she'd have to be very self-disciplined.
How long is her shift?
What breaks is she entitled to?
If she is there for more than (say) three or four hours, you must schedule a break and she should bring her own packed meal.
I don't know what your state's domestic employment laws might say, but as a matter of common hospitality, even though the caregiver may not be *entitled* to these, it would be a bit stingy not to allow her to help herself to coffee and even perhaps a cookie or two.
Speaking personally, I used to invite my respite caregiver to share my mother's light lunch and she usually did, though never taking it for granted (she always brought her own lunchbox); but this was more to do with social graces than workers' rights. My mother would have felt very uncomfortable eating by herself with someone else in the room.
You'd better also advise her that the home is monitored and it can plainly be seen if she takes food for herself. There is no problem with monitoring, but there certainly could be a problem if people are not made aware of it.
So how goes it with the pain pill investigation?
Set her time to fall between 1:30PM - 3:30/4:30PM so definitely after lunch & before dinner. And at no point in this time period does mom have a meal made for her or get a snack given to her by the caregiver. You make sure mom has eaten way way WAY before caregiver shows up too. & you reset moms bedside water pitcher and snack/fruit box. So there is absolutely no reason for caregiver to ever enter kitchen and open a single cabinet. And you inform her in writing that she is responsible to bring in all foodstuffs she might need during her shift.
I’ll bet that you’ll need to find a new caregiver in short order.
Personally I think you being petty on CG eating here & there from moms pantry. FFS she’s not taking a pork tenderloin pack from the frig, roasting it and taking half home.... she’s not putting a jar of pesto sauce in her purse. Ime, “Help”, especially if they’re experienced domestic help - whether paid with FICA or more casually under the table- expect as a perk of the job to have a meal or share a meal. And snacks too. And tune the TV to their stories. There’s a real give & take in dealing with staff successfully. And if you want happiness with your “help” & your household, you give them a gift card from local grocery store that also sells liquor for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Mother’s Day.
I asked earlier if this was an employee from an agency or if you hired her privately. So far, I haven’t seen a response.
If this is an agency, speak to them and let them handle it. If you hired her privately, you should speak to her if you are dissatisfied with her eating.
My mom did not object at all to the caregiver that we had from Council on Aging eating with her. She enjoyed the company. I always provided snacks, drinks and lunch or dinner for her.
Unless your budget doesn’t allow for it, consider having something for her to snack on.
I am curious. Are there other reasons that you aren’t happy with her?
I think this may be a personality clash of sorts. Please correct me if I am off base. Other than budget, what is your objection to her eating? Do you feel she is unprofessional? A food addiction?
Do you like her otherwise? I would want my mom’s caregiver to be happy and content. Do you feel it is important for her to be satisfied with her job in your home?
less portable snacks, less tempting, too.
But if the aide helps herself from the refrigerator and cupboards without asking permission, and feels entitled to do so, I'd be leery of trusting, her across the board. Respect for a person includes respect for property, respect for privacy, respect for age.
I've found that those people who don't respect a patient's property, don't at least ask for permission -acknowledging the owner of the property is not themselves- before helping themselves or opening drawers, doors etc. are also (often) missing kindness, empathy and compassion in general, and imo don't especially cherish human life, unless of course it's their own.
It sounds like you don’t trust this person in general. I would look for someone that you trust.