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"She forged my name to appease her company and we do just as we like together!" my mother boasts. The companion has shared all her personal woes to my mother, drives her places when she isn't supposed to, and does whatever my mother wants. Lying to her company, forging my mother's signature (wtf: mom can write!) The lady is fighting for custody of her daughter, living with a wealthy guy who is now beating her up, and stuff like that. She sure sounds like a loser and abuser herself, but to my mother, "oh, she is so sweet." I have never met her in person. What precautions can I make? should I talk to her company?

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Oh my goodness! I would definately report this. It is unprofessional and could be a dangerous situation for your Mom. Not to mention your Mom should not be burdened with her caregivers personal issues! Good luck with this matter.
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I think I would fire her. I don't know how your mother would like it, but you don't have to tell her. If you think there is something wrong, there probably is. Don't wait until something happens.
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Agree with juju 100%...Long pole in the tent, of course, is that mom loves this creep. If you can determine which document(s) she forged, then provide them to the company for whom she works, she will get fired. Of course, she still knows mom and might not be out of the picture...This sounds to me like a scam/swindle waiting to happen.
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Are you certain these discussions are taking place and not delusion? Does Mom have dementia? If so, anything she says may be a complete fabrication. I would make a point of meeting the caregiver to form your own opinions.

We have a similar issue here. There are days that my mom becomes quite paranoid which she is afraid to talk about with me, her 24/7 caregiver and sometimes also her husband. Then ding-a-ling telephone rings, mom will leave the room with the phone to talk to another daughter. Then mom will tell her whatever ahe is able to, sometimes something a simple as "something is terribly wrong here". And what does sister do? She asks mom for more information that mom will sometimes not be able to answer because she doesn't know, or she will will come up with something that has absolutely no basis in reality.

If you are not able to get reliable, consistent information from your mom, leave it alone until you have substantiated that there is a legitimate concern. Reporting something like this to the agency could likely cause the caregiver unnecessary trouble with her employer. Be grateful that your mom enjoys her but before doing anything, meet and get to know the caregiver.
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Fire her!! You are paying for companion care, which is pricey; so get a companion who is honest; not Thelma or Louise.
You WILL be sorry if you don't handle this now. There are plenty of good caregivers that abide by company rules and will still be nice to your mom.
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I'm with gladimhere - check the veracity of what your Mom says. Also, I would meet the person in person for a start...
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I work for a private care company, and most of my co-workers are amazing women, trained to care for those with cognitive impairments, but there have been a few times when I've had to report either a co-worker or employee of a facility in which my client was living, for inappropriate behavior. Things like oversharing of personal woes, watching television shows that aren't suited for the client's dementia, and anything that just sets off a warning bell, should be reported to the agency. Also, if you have the ability to drop by, or to have a family friend stop by during the time your mother's caregiver is with her, then do so. Maybe she is a perfectly lovely companion who just needs a reminder to not talk so personally, maybe your mother has confused some situations (for instance, one client I had in the past didn't think she needed a caregiver, so we had to pretend to be part of a cleaning service, while my current client likes to be told that we're there not because she needs us but because it makes her children happy).

So, yes, speak with the agency. Try to meet the caregiver if you can. As a caregiver myself, it helps to have a strong relationship with my client's family and to work together to make sure their parent has the best care possible.
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I agree with what the others have said I would fire her but also I would contact the local police department to see if there had been any other complaints filed against this individual. From what you have said I think she is setting your mom up to take all of her money.
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Fire her immediately. This is not safe for your Mom. Yes you Mom has dementia but she is not delusional enough to make up these kinds of stories. As your moms family and caregiver you should never doubt this kind of stuff and blame it on her condition. Please call this ladies company and thanks for asking the opinion of others. I've heard too many people blame there parents and say it's there condition making them make up stories. Next thing you know the caregiver has stolen thousands. No!!! Always trust there is some validity to your mom story. Stop her before she forge your name on something and end up stealing from you or hurting your Mom.
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I can't believe someone would say check out this ladies side of the story. I would not care. There are too many agencies out there to select from. Your Mom should not have to be hear this kind of stuff and risk having a caregiver who could potentially be setting the path to steal from your Mom. A simple phone call or risk dealing with potential irreseveral damage of a theft or harm
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You hired a licensed, bonded company for a reason, rather than go to Craigslist or another source. If you have a gut feeling this caregiver could be doing any of these things your mother says; ASK FOR A DIFFERENT CAREGIVER IMMEDIATELY. Let the company know your concerns and it is an internal problem with the company to figure out employee honesty. A new employee should show up without explanation. If this questionable caregiver ever contacts your mom let the company know and let the cops know. So what if SOME details are part of dementia? My out moms care and safety is the WHOLE REASON you hired companion care. Trust your gut and take action.
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An elderly friend of mine met a gal who told her all of her personal woes. After several months of this my friend lent her $5000 and promptly never heard from her again. My friend felt that this gal was the daughter she always wished she had and fell for this crap hook line and sinker. Now this thief was not even my friends caregiver or companion but simply an acquaintance. So, imagine the damage that can be done with a senior dealing with dementia. GET HER OUT OF THERE!. Unless you live several states away I would definitely be meeting this person face to face.
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I work in aged care & have found anything said can be twisted into something completely differnt to what was said. It is your word against them unless a witness is with you. On one shift, I was attending to a female client with another male nurse. Just after we finished with the ADLs she yelled out, "he touched my Virgina" Neither the male nurse or myself were anywhere near her groins and the male nurse is a homosexual
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Yes, report this woman and find someone else. Your Mom won't like it but you need to try to protect her. It's one thing to sneak an extra cookie that the care receiver wants and another to forge a signature.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing.
Carol
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Even if your mom is exaggerating, I think I'd call the agency and make a change. You can't afford to take that chance. I would be very uncomfortable with the kind of personal information this woman is sharing. I think all of us need to remember that our elderly parents are "marks" to the unscrupulous. This story sets off my spidey senses big time.
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Good point, Maggie, that Mom could be exaggerating. However, I agree that with the accumulation of claims by the mother, it's better to be safe than horribly sorry.
Carol
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I have been a caregiver for o er 20 years and have seen other caregiver come and go, this caregiver should be reported to adilt protection agency as well as her boss and you should demand a replacement immediately. There is no excuse for bad behavior. As much as I love to be loved by my clients I know they will love other caregivers just as much because we are meeting a need in thier vulnerable lives. Please dont take a chance with your mothers well being because of this one unscrupulous person!
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Good caregivers want to work closely with you and appreciate your involvement. Ask the agency to replace her.
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I would do as some of the others have suggested -- verify first that what is being said is true, then request another caregiver if it is. The caregiver's relationship with your mother should be caring but professional. It is okay to share parts of her life with your mother, but there is a line to be drawn. She should not discuss her hardships, because it could be a setup for "borrowing" money. And forgery would be a deal breaker, since she is not authorized to sign for your mother.
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Fire her I fired 2 caregivers for mom already for inappropriate actions , such as some of the things you named above . I called the company raised heck and they were gone
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Consider changing agencies as they were not careful in screening the caregiver.
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Thank you, everyone. I'll gather info and then call the company asap.
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Agreed with the other suggestions. This can only head for disaster. I've seen it in my family (my step-sister's grandfather's caretakers left her and her brother with nothing and got their grandfather to sign everything over to them) and in lawsuits I've handled.
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I suggest you talk to the agency. Explain your concerns, but let them know you haven't personally met her caregiver and witnessed anything. Your uneasiness with the situation is enough to change caregivers. If the caregiver is unscrupulous, you'll likely not be the first to report such concerns. If she shows back up to see your mother as 'a friend', call local law enforcement and let the agency know, as that would be extremely unprofessional. I have noticed that my mum finds comfort in her nurses and physical therapists sharing a bit of their personal info with her, as mum is isolated and lonely. I believe she prefers to see them more as friends coming to help her instead of paid strangers doing their jobs. Fortunately, I have the advantage of being with my mum during every visit, so I know nothing inappropriate has been said or done. If any caregiver causes you to feel uneasy, then it's always best to request a change.
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Run don't walk to this losers employers and report her. Don't allow her back in to your house, tell your mother she found another job or some excuse. Forging a signature is sure fire firing for this person. Use you common sense here.
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Hi all. Thanks for your feedback. I called the care giving company and they were very responsive and nice. They'll do an evaluation on the lady in question and check on the "forged signatures".

I feel better now! Have a great day.
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Report her if you are sure your mother is correct. My mother in law had a woman come in that the county sent. She did the same thing. Didn't have gas money to get home. Before you know it MIL is buying her groceries at Wal Mart. Finally, MIL got tired of it (this is a pattern with her, she has done this with "friends" too) and reported her. County said she should have report her immediately, first time she asked for gas money.
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My advice would be to 1. meet the caregiver face-to-face, and then 2. talk to the home care agency. It might be this is very legitimate and inappropriate care being provided to your mother. Or, if your mother has dementia, it could completely be that your mother is experiencing delusions/hallucinations. I worked in a nursing care facility back in my early 20's, and there was a lady who just loved me and was convinced I was married, had children, etc...I'd just go along with it because I knew that there wasn't any way I could reason with her or get her to understand my reality.
Maybe the home care agency could split up the care hours with a second caregiver--that way there's another pair of eyes in the home, and if your mother starts saying the same things about the new caregiver, you know it's more likely that it's your mom and not the caregivers.
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@mustbmee: well, I can't believe the tidal wave of people saying to fire her when the daughter or son who originally posed the question says the caregiver " delights" her mother. S/he goes on to say that the caregiver "does whatever my mother wants."

My only mission over the last 10 years has been to do anything and everything to delight my mother who has dementia. I wonder why it is that people think that they know better what the person with dementia needs than the person with dementia?

It seems to me that the daughter or son is making a judgment about what his/her mother should and shouldn't like. Maybe the mother enjoys hearing about the person's soap opera of the life - It sounds like she does based on the fact that the daughter or son says the mother is delighted. And if that's the case, why not let it continue?

What I see in this thread are whole bunch of assumptions based on a few lines of information, everyone jumping to the conclusion that the woman should be fired because the daughter doesn't like aspects about the relationship her mother has shared with her. But the mother is "delighted." Isn't the mother the one who matters most in this scenario?

Furthermore, the daughter says she hasn't even met the person… She has no way of knowing what's going on other than by what her mother tells her, and her mother doesn't seem to have any problem at all. It seems to me that the problem lies in the son's / daughter's judgment of what is appropriate or not for her mother, and s/he doesn't even live close enough by to check it out in person… who is s/he to judge?

If it were me, and my mother was delighted, I would take steps to ensure her financial safety and security, but also allow her to continue to be delighted.

So yes, my first step would be to find out more rather than to make snap judgments based on limited imformation.
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Fire fire fire and report report report...also change all your locks, as well as garage door code, and any online passwords (if your mom used a PC).
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