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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
A lot of patience. My mom is like this, and no matter what we've tried she gets snappy with everyone. Whenever this happens keep in mind that she's dealing with understanding how she's changing and aging. She doesn't like the fact that there are some things she can't do, or things she's restricted in. It feels like a loss of control over yourself. It's easier to lash out at people you love because subconsciously you know they'll deal with you longer. A lot of this I learned from my mom's caregiver so I'm not going to take the credit. She's from presidiohomecare in Los Angeles. I don't know if they have other offices but their staff is trained well to not just help the elderly but the rest of the family as well. Ultimately I say just have a conversation with your parent, explain how you feel, and see where the conversation goes from there. Good Luck!!
Hi, greekgal. I'm in Birmingham, too. Your life sounds so much like mine. I moved back here in 2009 to take care of my parents. My father died. Your mother sounds like your mine. It must be a Bama thing -- sweet as pie to everyone around, then her fangs and horns come out with me. We had a terrible day yesterday and I told her I was moving out. She has been so sweet today. I think she realizes she was way over the line and doesn't want to lose me.
My mother also likes to argue. She will take the opposite view of mine on just about everything. Sometimes she will even switch views just to keep opposed to me. I find it is pointless to argue. Sometimes I give it a start, then say I don't want to argue. She wins by default. Arguing just makes her mad, which is worse than just letting it go. Nothing matters that much, anyway.
I think there is a lot of wisdom in a couple of old sayings or punchlines. Often care receivers are bad to bite the hand that feeds them. Maybe it is because the person represents their loss of independence and freedom, so there are some bad feelings there. Too, I imagine it is difficult to have a person come into your home and life. Most people would prefer to live separately if they could. Another punchline seems to fit good if it is modified a bit -- "I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member." Sometimes I feel with my mother since my life is so unimportant that I can take time to care for her, than I must not be very important. This lesser position is an opening for abuse.
The thing that keeps me sane (well, partly) is knowing personally that I am important. However, over time I have felt my self esteem going down. I wish we didn't have to put up with all these bad feelings of growing old, particularly when we no longer are spring chickens ourselves.
Thank you MarcelaDeVico for your caring answer and now that I know that I am not alone in dealing with this particular problem, I will seek professional help in helping me deal with it.
JesseBelle, OMG!!! You nailed it!!! Our mother's sound identical in every way. I couldn't pin point why my self esteem was less than nothing since I too moved back home in 2009 to take care of my mother. I realize now, after reading your post that she does think I am unimportant and should be honored to take care of "her highness" in every way. Truly her feeling of self importance is staggering to me. Her needs above all and constant opposition is draining the life out of me. I don't know how much longer I will be able to tolerate her behavior. Maybe I will try your suggestion and tell her to be thankful I am there at all or threaten to move out. My daughter, who also lives her refuses to take care of her in any way because she knows what would happen if I left. If you know of a support group, here in Birmingham that could help me endure her treatment, please share. I thank you for your response.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mother also likes to argue. She will take the opposite view of mine on just about everything. Sometimes she will even switch views just to keep opposed to me. I find it is pointless to argue. Sometimes I give it a start, then say I don't want to argue. She wins by default. Arguing just makes her mad, which is worse than just letting it go. Nothing matters that much, anyway.
I think there is a lot of wisdom in a couple of old sayings or punchlines. Often care receivers are bad to bite the hand that feeds them. Maybe it is because the person represents their loss of independence and freedom, so there are some bad feelings there. Too, I imagine it is difficult to have a person come into your home and life. Most people would prefer to live separately if they could. Another punchline seems to fit good if it is modified a bit -- "I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member." Sometimes I feel with my mother since my life is so unimportant that I can take time to care for her, than I must not be very important. This lesser position is an opening for abuse.
The thing that keeps me sane (well, partly) is knowing personally that I am important. However, over time I have felt my self esteem going down. I wish we didn't have to put up with all these bad feelings of growing old, particularly when we no longer are spring chickens ourselves.
for your caring answer and now that I know that I am not alone in dealing with this particular problem, I will seek professional help in helping me deal with it.