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Caretaker is over inflating hours and by taking food. Caretaker hates me, the son. Do I just walk away, turn my head? do I confront her? do I try and convince parents to make a change (but they are afraid there is no one out there better)???? She's made herself indispensable

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If mom and dad like her, and they get good care, you show her a little respect. If she is not walking away with half the house, you found a gem.
If you are constantly complaining, she hates you.
If she is eating the food you used to take home, you hate her.
C'est La Vie.
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Our CG brings food for my folks.. kinda funny if you think about it.. but she loves to cook, brings them soup, cookies... So I sure don't care if she shares ours. She is hired through an agency and has to phone in on arrival and departure, so no over inflating the hours worries.
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you and the caregiver need to be on the same team . my aunts daughter annoys me from a distance and even does hateful things towards me but im part of ednas team and will remain so until edna tells me differently .
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Bill, I found this post that you wrote today "Ms. Caretaker is good at what she does, but her manner and tone and demeaner is that of a bully. I am the only son. She hates me and I don't trust her and feel she's ripping off my parents by overcharging".

As I had answered your other post, the key thing is that your parents like this Caregiver and in my book that is at the top of the list. So many of our elders refuse to let any strangers into their house, so you are lucky your parents are letting her in, and you aren't the one being the full time caregiver.
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If your parents haven't experienced other caregivers, they'll think there's a scarcity. But, it's the opposite. There's plenty out there. I put an ad on care and had over 80 applicants respond within 2 weeks. If you think the CG is ripping them off, you could put a nanny cam in to prove it. If the CG is through an agency, it's usually against policy to take client's food and should bring their own.
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Unless the parents are offering the food to the Caregiver.
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How serious is this? Do you mean she joins your parents for a bowl of soup and a slice of bread for lunch, or that she takes a roast out of the freezer to bring home?

Does she claim 40 hours on her bill, even though she took a couple hours off to go to the dentist, or does she consistently work about 30 and bill for 40? How do you know?

You apparently don't care for her personality. I just wonder how much that is coloring your perception.

Could you put a dollar value on the "ripping off"?
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