Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Refuses to go to the dr. or take meds, or eat, or accept help. Cannot use the telephone, thermostat, cannot process. Very stubborn, will not admit has a problem even when they fail a test that Dr. gav her. Help.
Bucket, you sound overwhelmed and who wouldn't be?
It sounds like you need to prioritize and eating, as Jeanne says, is the most urgent. Can she swallow? Sometimes when people with dementia say "I can't eat" what they mean is that they can't swallow. Talk to her doctor about the eating issue, a swallow study may prove useful.
Will she drink a milk shake? Puddings? Other soft textured items? Those might be a place to start.
Not much to add to the excellent initial advice above. Except maybe: remember that it is not just your wife who needs help - you need help, too, to keep both yourself and her safe and well. And you don't need your wife's permission for that. Ask around about what services are available in your area. Your doctor might be a good place to start. Best wishes to you, please keep posting.
Bucket, it is very hard for the caregiver when the person does not think anything is wrong. Gladimhere is right. No amount of talking or reasoning is going to convince her that she is impaired. Her brain is damaged, and part of the damage is to her ability to reason.
Learn about her disease.
Take one struggle at a time. She refuses to eat. That sounds serious. Do you mean sometimes, or all the time? How long has this been going on? Have you been in touch with her doctor about this? Is she losing weight rapidly? Does she say why she will not eat?
The ultimate answer may have to be placement in a care center. But don't give up quite yet. Learn about her disease. Post about each specific care problem you have, so you can get input from others who have dealt with it. See if a little knowledge can help you help her to be more comfortable and you to be less stressed.
She will not believe it. Most of them believe they are fine. We need to change our attitudes and lear to deal with the wide variety of behaviors coming our way. Denial of a problem or just not understanding there is a problem are hallmarks of dementia. Stop trying to convince her you will never be successful at it, but you will stress yourself out instead leading to illness for yourself.
In order to understand more about what Alzheimer's is there are many good articles on this site. Also check into Teepa Snow videos on Youtube.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It sounds like you need to prioritize and eating, as Jeanne says, is the most urgent. Can she swallow? Sometimes when people with dementia say "I can't eat" what they mean is that they can't swallow. Talk to her doctor about the eating issue, a swallow study may prove useful.
Will she drink a milk shake? Puddings? Other soft textured items? Those might be a place to start.
Learn about her disease.
Take one struggle at a time. She refuses to eat. That sounds serious. Do you mean sometimes, or all the time? How long has this been going on? Have you been in touch with her doctor about this? Is she losing weight rapidly? Does she say why she will not eat?
The ultimate answer may have to be placement in a care center. But don't give up quite yet. Learn about her disease. Post about each specific care problem you have, so you can get input from others who have dealt with it. See if a little knowledge can help you help her to be more comfortable and you to be less stressed.
In order to understand more about what Alzheimer's is there are many good articles on this site. Also check into Teepa Snow videos on Youtube.
And just breathe.