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Ok all, I am in a conundrum and need advice. This week I took my mom's dog to the vet and it turns out the dog needs major dental work done, the dog's teeth are rotting. My mom hasn't taken her dog to a vet in 3 years. The vet recommended having teeth extracted and it'll require the dog to be sedated but the dog also has a heart murmur so it's a bit of a risk, just a minor risk. But, once fixed, doggie will have many more years ahead. As soon as we finished the vet visit my mom said "I'm never going back there" but I know that without getting this dog's teeth extracted, it's going to get a terrible infection and die within a year or so. If we can get doggie tooth surgery, the dog has many more years to live. My mom lives for this dog. I know my mom is going to be resistant to the steps that we need to take to get this done. Do we move ahead and just try to convince my mom to work with us to take the dog in? Or do I go with what my mom wants which is to do nothing even though I know it will harm the dog and my mom because she'll lose the dog sooner? Anyone who's been through this, what do you recommend.

I just saw my mom and she's in agreement with me that we need to get this done so I'm very grateful for all your responses, helped me to face this, and ask my mom. Thanks all.
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AlvaDeer Oct 29, 2024
Thanks Harlow for working with mom and for this little pet.
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Hi Harlow - it's clear to see that you're an animal lover (I'm one too)! Your mom isn't making the right decision doing nothing for her dog - especially since you stated that her dog already has an infection in their mouth and you can see the changes in their behavior. That's a clear indication, and you don't want matters to get any worse where it becomes an unmanageable health issue.

Definitely go with your instincts and take care of the dog properly - so they can continue living a happy and healthy life! And, whatever you need to do in advance to ensure that your mom won't be feeding him/her in the morning!

Wishing you the best of great luck in this!! Your mom's dog is lucky to have you as their advocate!
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harlowgold Oct 22, 2024
Thank you! This is helpful.
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I understand that your mom is now on-board. Another thing to consider is to have the dog boarded with the vet for several days after the teeth extraction, so it's mouth has a chance to heal IF YOU FEEL THAT your mom might have some level of dementia. Reason being that she may not feed it correctly and cause it more pain while healing. My dad, who had dementia, basically fed the dog what he ate, even though the dog food (and simple instructions) was right there, and he was told again and again about it.

Best wishes!
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ElizabethAR37 Oct 29, 2024
Agree. The dog's best interest needs to be a priority.
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Hi Harlow, I just want to say my ex husbands dog, that I actually took care of often when he went away.

Passed last week, because of a tooth infection. We are all heart broken.

Adorable little guy , would only let me put his flea meds on him, so he felt like mine. Granted he was older but when I saw him 2 weeks ago, he had much life left in him.

Maybe tell mom my story. 😓 , ugh now I'm crying again.
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JagNoChains Oct 22, 2024
Sorry for the loss of the dog. They are furry little angels and we don't have them long. Hugs to you.
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I had my dog for 15 years. Died in my arms. He was 'my boy'.
I said that to say this; you said your mom lives for that dog. I wouldn't just do Nothing.
Can you get a 2nd opinion?
Is it the cost that's the issue?
Personally, I would (if I had the financial means) help the dog. It would be nice to extend his life for your mom's health too.
My .02
I hoping the best for your mom and her dog.
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harlowgold Oct 22, 2024
The cost isn't an issue, it's just that my mom doesn't trust doctors or veterinarians and it will be scary for her to have her dog in under anesthesia I think that's what she's afraid of but I do have a friend who's a vet but who's never lost a dog in tooth cleaning situation so I can assure her that the dog will be safe
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You are new here, Harlow, and have told us nothing about yourself or about your mother.
I, to be honest with you, consider such neglect of an animal abuse. And I have little sympathy with those who will allow their animals or their children to be ill or in pain. Fortunately, with children, there is a way to address this; CPS is called. With animals, and in the case of this type of neglect, there is little to be done.

If your mother is demented and not responsible for her own decisions then you can and you should relieve this poor animal's agony.
If your mother is NOT demented--were it me and she chose to allow her animal to suffer--the suffering wouldn't take place where I would be privy to it.

So I am just saying, for me, animal abuse is a DEAL BREAKER. I would not allow any parent, child, brother, sister, friend or anyone else to abuse an animal. I would drop them like a hot potato.

What you do, has to be up to you. Your mother already told you she intends to allow this dog to suffer (PLEASE don't give me any nonsense about how much she loves it). If that's her decision she'd do it without me looking on. Your decision must be your own for your own life.
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harlowgold Oct 22, 2024
Hello there and yes I do agree with you and good news is I just stopped to see my mom and she is now in agreement that we do need to do something she gets it now I think it just took time for her to process she has mild cognitive decline and she's also bipolar so she has moments when she gets very paranoid but I think the time that she's had to process this she's now come to the right decision thank God but thank you for your input I really appreciate it
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First it will be cruelty to the dog to let him suffer. On the other hand pets are great support animals. So get the dogs teeth fixed. It may cost a lot but is now the time to worry about money when your mother needs love and support the most.
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Bad teeth in dogs can but only cause excruciating pain but also can give them heart attack
that’s a fact
i woukd advise your mother her dog is in pain and to be frank if she does not do anything the dog should be put into care /
anyone who has ever had a bad tooth knows the level of pain - same for the poor dog
she either gets it sorted or the dog will be taken away from her
tgey need to put a dog to sleep for this - maybe that’s her fear ?
end of day id rather take that risk than see my dog in pain ?
good luck
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I'm sorry to see that your mothers poor dog is suffering. I'm happy that your mother has decided to get dental help for her dog, ASAP, so the infection does not go into the bloodstream and kill him/her. The sad alternative would be to have her pet put down, but it is so difficult to get a new pet or puppy to retrain.
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Dogs tend to be very stoic and don't show pain until they cannot hide it any more. That may be why your mother does not see the problem. If not treated, her dog will become septic and die.
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