My dad seems to be between stage 4 and stage 6 with Alzheimer's disease. My step-mother does not seem to understand the importance of having him see a specialist. I scheduled an appointment with her and my dad at a geriatric assessment center. This assessment requires two visits. One with a social worker and the second with a psychiatrist. After the first appointment my step-mother went to a PCP appointment with my dad. She said the PCP suggested the same tests would be done that he already did and adding another doctor to the doctors he already sees, would confuse him. So, she canceled the second appointment I scheduled. My father has no POA or medical powers created. His PCP will not discuss my dad's health with me without a HIPPA form signed. Does anyone have any suggestions to ease my frustrations? I feel my step-mother's actions are harming my dad's wellbeing.
I would tread carefully. Your stepmother may be in denial about your father's dementia, or it may be precisely as she said it was and she is acting on the advice of your father's PCP - with whom you are entitled to disagree, but that's a different matter. They attended the appointment with the social worker, did they? What was the outcome of that?
When you say your father seems to be at Stage 4-6 of AD, is that your own assessment or a professional one?
The thing is, it may be that your stepmother is working well with your father's existing healthcare team, that your father's care plan is well in hand, and that they therefore don't agree with your prioritising the specialist input. I personally would have thought it helpful, but they may not. Your stepmother and your father's doctor between them do have the right to make these decisions.
That's not to say that I don't sympathise with your frustration - and, indeed, extreme irritation when a perfectly good idea, of his seeing a specialist, appears to be rejected. But are there any particular treatments or therapies that you would want your father to be getting that he isn't already? Are you unhappy with any specific aspects of his care or his living arrangements?
The fact is that you're not in charge and you'll have to work with her if you want to stay involved. If I were you I'd take this one on the chin and keep talking to her about what help she would like you to contribute.
Do you have any POA authorizations
Why don't you have a HIPAA in place?
Seek help from Alz assoc 24/7 and see a elder affairs attorney and get your legal status and relationships in writing
One did come & hung around & did help for a few months so I could get everything in place.The other still works & has their hands full with their own family issues.I don't have all the answers but I have learned alot.This site has been helpful.You take care.