I am posting this here as there is no option to choose stroke to post under, and my father’s issues are dementia like.
I went home for the holidays and my 80 year old father was fine. Seemed totally normal if a little tired. Something happened the week between Christmas and New Years. I went to my mother’s for a few days and when I came back to his house it was like he had fallen off a cliff mentally. His girlfriend and I both noticed it as did others. Said he couldn’t find his phone when it was right there. Trying to make calls with the TV remote. Not being able to call things by their right names, saying he needed to buy a Christmas tree when there was one still standing in the living room etc. It was scary. I suspected a stroke and tricked him into getting to his doctor ( he was refusing to admit anything was wrong) which led to tests. The CT scan showed he had a stroke in the left ventricle but they considered it “chronic”, or having happened a while ago. The MRI did not show any more strokes as far as I can read the report. I will be calling his doctor for a follow up. It just doesn’t make sense to me that his memory and ability to think clearly would deteriorate that rapidly in a weeks time without some other contributing stroke. It appears that he has lost the ability to use his iPhone and TV remote now. I live 3000 miles away and am coordinating what I can from here but obviously feeling very scared and overwhelmed.
I’ve seen four people have these issues and the only thing they had in common re diagnosis was that they were all elderly and lived on their own.
I understand how frightened you are for your dad. And the other thing is the next time you see him he may not be confused at all in that moment with those devices and wonder what the heck you are going on about. (Rereading your post and see that has already happened).
FIL once wanted to help the guys out when they had the hood of his car up (pretending to repair it after they had disabled it). He came out with a wine opener thinking it might help. He had suffered a head trauma 10 years earlier.
Things wear out. Old injuries show up as arthritis, etc.
I am sorry your dad is having issues. It takes a minute to absorb and decide on next steps. Deep breaths.
You might like to pick up a copy of “Being Mortal, Medicine and What Matters in the End” by Atul Gawande. There are some great questions to ask dad included and also time to make sure you have the proper paperwork in place to help manage his care. POA, Will etc.
Swelling? Extention to a brain bleed? More micro strokes?
I never found out the reason, but have seen a big drop in skills 2-3 weeks post stroke.
Yes strokes are not always seen on imaging. MRI better than CT but small strokes can still be hard to dx (until later, if at all).
Yes it can take time - to see what can be recovered & what becomes 'the new normal'.
That can be a scary place. Thank goodness he is not always alone. As the girlfriends know him well, they can call Dr or EMS for any new or worsening symtoms. Email/text them the F.A.S.T stroke guide if they are not familiar with it.
PT can be arranged for home rehab & regular Dr checkups to keep a closer eye until things seem to stabilise.
The highest risk time for a stroke is within 2 weeks of a stroke. Small strokes can be warnings of a larger one.
If he does not have a medical POA, right now would be the time to do so.
On the "refusing to admit anything was wrong" topic: stroke is a brain injury. If you break your leg, you can see it & feel it. But if a little brain 'breaks', the brain may not know it, not 'see' or feel it. Look up *anosognosia*. It is a real thing & very very common post stroke. People have told me they just lay on bed, or on the floor, calm, no pain but without a thought in their head. No concept of "I fell" or "I need to call for help". Just calm. Sometimes people try to call out but have lost speech.
That's why more eyes are good. They can raise the alarm if he can't. It then extents to not realising home help is needed. That finances are now muddled, driving, cooking may be unsafe etc.
I am sorry for the hardship of this situation, especially being far away. The only good things I can say about stroke is most people report no pain (some maybe a sharp headache) but often, no pain at all. My relatives that went that way didn't seem to suffer.
And that many people do make recoveries. Not always full like as before, but to enjoy a good quality of life.
"What really matters" is an excellent book & really does help to navigate what is important when turning down Old Age Road.
(((Hugs)))
I do think he knows that something is wrong as he told his girlfriend that he is "struggling" a bit and just doesn't feel well. But me, his daughter, I think he will deny to the end to protect me from worry. The MRI shows no brain bleeding or swelling or micro strokes (but I am told they don't always show up). Just the left ventrical "chronic" stroke. But given his rapid decline the Neuro thinks I am right and he probably had another one right after Christmas. We are in a wait and see phase unless the doctor wants to try something based on the new MRI and neck ultrasound. I may have no choice but to relocate back to CA if he continues to decline. He has a trust that I become trustee of if he becomes unable to manage his affairs with properties and a business. It's a lot and I can't do it from here.
What was missed I found at home. Reports of people that balance was seriously off in last few days, and then l description hand written in his beautiful writing done on Feb. 11th followed by one in which he could barely write at all. My dx. would be probable stroke. But hey, could have been all three. As my MD once said "it's anything but an exact science".
Strokes are difficult to pinpoint often enough in scanning. Brain bleeds, or hemorrhagic strokes show; others often don't and again you are left with symptoms.
So as you said, this is sounding like stroke. Your best bet is a sit down with a neuro psyc, and the details you give us here. Though at this point it is rehab and looking 1 month forward to know that any swelling is down and what you are left with is what rehab is left with to work with.
I surely do wish you good luck.