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My mother's short term memory has been gone for several years and now a chronic uti has scramble what is left of her long term memory. She still lives alone in a house that I bought and paid for and cannot live with me. She is abusive and mentally crazy and always has been. She now calls my phone repeatedly 40 to 60 times a day. I have had knee replacement surgery and can't take care of her right now anyway. My blood pressure, which is normal was 167/113 yesterday because of her.  She definitely has show timers. She is super hateful to me but sweet as puddin and pie to everyone else. She has let a drunk strange man into her house lately, took in 2 stray cats that are full of fleas and unvaccinated, and answered the door naked recently. So if I tell the hospital it's an unsafe discharge and refuse to answer their calls, what will they do? P.s. Google a "Karen" and her picture will come up. Help

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Thank you for answering. She is definitely an expert at show timers. She showed her true colors in front of home health aid today. I told the poor girl, let me introduce you to the "real Mary". I think she scared the poor girl. She also took 7 thyroid pills and 14 antibiotics in 3 days. She threatened to have me arrested for taking her car away from her when the police called me twice to come get her in town because she was confused and lost. The car is her only asset and its a 2008 acura with 210k miles on it that she has wrecked 7 times with a salvage title lol. Just trying to protect the general public from her. She hit my insurance mans mother in the last accident. On top of all the crazy things she does if she doesn't get her way she will start speaking in tongues ugh.
I have financially supported her lock stock and barrel for the last 24 years and im just emotionally done. I cant heal for having to deal with her. Ps we don't have cabs where I live. Guess they will have to transport her by ambulance if they send her home. Dont know who is going to pay for all these ambulance rides and she has had at least 4 or 5 since January. It won't be me
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Reply to hopelesshelp
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Make sure they know you are recovering from knee replacement surgery, that she has a history of mental illness, that you aren't her PoA and she isn't cooperative with any care plan. Maybe they will do a 5150 hold on her or is she showtimes enough they may put her in a taxi and send her home. Ask to talk to a hospital social worker to discuss options.
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Reply to Geaton777
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”Lose” her car and act like you know nothing when asked about it. If you’ve assumed any legal role like Power of Attorney, resign it. Meet with the hospital social worker or discharge planner, state plainly mom has no assets, no help in the home, long time mental illness, a great ability to showtime, and is unable to care for herself. Take the cats to a shelter, again acting like you know nothing if she mentions it. Do not answer her calls, consider if you need to block her or change your number. I’m sorry for all of your pain in this. The mentally ill in our country deserve better than our current system. Time to guard your wellbeing. I wish you healing and peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Unless you have POA for your mother, she is not your responsibility. You do not have to pick her up from the hospital to take her home, or anywhere. Let the hospital know that YOU are not taking care of her, and that you think she is unsafe living at home alone.
They may deem her competent to go home on her own, which you can't stop.
If she is allowed home again, do not go over there to do anything to help her "live independently". She will succumb to some accident or medical emergency and land in the hospital again. Or in the morgue. If she is declared mentally competent, then she can live as she chooses.

If she IS NOT mentally competent, as you contend, you should insist on getting an evaluation by a neurologist who can make a diagnosis of her cognitive function. Then, the hospital can not send her home alone without a care plan.
They MUST discharge her however. They can't just keep her there indefinitely.
You can meet with a hospital social worker or discharge planner and arrange for her to be transferred to a memory care facility or skilled nursing facility. They probably won't be able to recommend one, you might have to go and visit a few and choose the best option for your mother's needs.

If you don't want to be involved, you can ask APS to intervene and get a guardian assigned by the court. They will take over your mother's finances and determine a placement for her. You will not have any say.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Tell them Mom can't return home because there is no one there to care for her and you refuse to. If you do not have POA tell them the State will need to take over her care.

Is that man still in the home she lives in, ask him to leave. If he won't call the police to have him removed. Get the locks changed. The cats, if you are where its getting warmer now, put them outside. Leave food and water and shelter. Call Humane society to see if they will take them.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I went to the county office and had my mom taken in for a psych eval (IVC) twice before they would listen to me and recommend placement. Mom is now in a locked down memory care facility that she pays for and they make sure she takes her meds. I spent probably an hour on the phone with a psychiatrist that mom gaslit into believing she was a harmless old woman that missed me dearly. Thankfully the next psychiatrist saw through it and said she was mentally ill and in need of full time care, not by me. A cop told me it can take many such IVCs to get someone to listen. If one hospital won't do it, demand your mom be sent to another. The term, "Unsafe discharge" meant nothing to the gaslit psychiatrist, but a lot to the last social worker at the other hospital. Oh, and disable her car to the point she can't get it fixed. After they take her away, change the locks on your house and take a week's vacation out of town with your phone on silent. Find a home for the cats. Get a security camera so if the homeless men come back you can call 911 if they try to break in.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Good googa Mooga! Saying from years ago.

Do not pick her up! Let the hospital social worker handle this. She is an unsafe discharge. Tell them that you cannot take her on.

Please take care of your own health and get meds for that blood pressure.
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Reply to Scampie1
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