My sister whom is terminal chose to go on a cruise, this week, January 2022. The family was all set to go and the CDC advised against cruises. My father who has pulmonary issues, past lung cancer, emphysema and diabetic, his doctor told him it was not safe for him to travel on a plane then a cruise. Now we are experiencing severe regrets. I am ate up with worry for her and him I couldn’t even get excited about the trip. I will probably always regret the decision to stay back. How does one get past something like this?
It must be a very sad disappointment to all. I wish you the best.
In all honesty, unless you are a partier, cruises are pretty overhyped. DH and I took one a few years ago and we got off the ship after 6 days and swore we'd never step on another cruise ship ever.
Regrets leave us--you can't live the rest of your life regretting following drs smart opinion that a cruise ship is a pretty bad way to be traveling these days. We went during Norovirus and while we felt they did a good job keeping things 'clean'---we actually regretted GOING. Too many people, too tight of quarters--we felt like we were in a floating toilet.
I can't imagine that a cruise with a terminally ill woman and a sick old man could be much fun for anyone. Think on that for a while. Your regrets will fade over time.
Dh and I recently returned from a cruise on an NCL ship; we visited a lot of interesting historical sites, animal sanctuaries and landmarks. And because we are extremely lucky in out timing, there was no outbreak amongst our crew or guests.
There were actually a lot of older folks than us (we are 68) and some of them were pretty frail (wheelchairs, walkers, being helped by adult children).
As we get older, we find cruising to be a gentler way of travelling and seeing the world.
Hindsight is always 20/20. And playing the "what if?" game is nothing but an exercise in futility. If every choice we had to make in life was between "good" and "bad" life would be much simpler. Heartbreakingly, however, very often the choices lie between bad, worse and worst.
I offer you my sympathies. With a terminally ill sister and a chronically, seriously ill father, I think you have enough sorrow in your life without adding to it unnecessarily, by second guessing decisions that you can't do anything about at this point anyway.
When your sister gets back, vow to spend time with her no matter WHAT the 'experts' tell you to do. That's the important thing here, and if you do spend quality time with her, you won't be left with regrets, cruise or no cruise.
Good luck
You sound like a very caring person in that you began with the worry you have for your father and you are expressing the "worry" as a reason for staying back. I want to thank you for putting your family first in a world where often people put themselves first. You are a blessing to your family. We will get through this virus and have a new normal, it's just that we have had it so easy compared to other generations and we are not use to making these sacrifices. You did the right thing. Hopefully you will get a chance to make that trip someday and it will seem all the sweeter.
Or set some eve time together. Isn't that the point of the trip to spend time together?
Go visit her without the cruise. Just family. Take some small day trips.
Isnt it about quality time? Not what you do? Your dad doesn't sound like he could even get around a cruise, let alone go on one. Can sister come visit you if she is up for it?
We are human we always second guess ourselves.
We also make mistakes, learn to forgive yourself that you are not perfect and you are doing the right thing at the right time for all involved.
We are all ultimately responsible for ourselves and our own actions, being said, be kind to yourself.
We are all in God's hands and care.
He determines when it is our time to leave this earth, so no one is leaving until He is ready for them too.
They are making memories on the cruise, they know their time is limited, i am sure we all might do the same thing to bring some joy to our lives while we can and do experience something grand and exciting.
Just look forward to the memories that can be shared when they get back from the trip.
It is ok to breathe...............You did the right thing for you and that is what matters.
I'm sorry your sister still decided to go but then maybe she is looking at this as the last chance she'll have cruise and didn't want to pass up the opportunity. I hope the cruise goes better for her than the many reports I am hearing of folks spending their cruise confined to their rooms because contact tracing put them in the same place as someone that tested positive after boarding.
My father is 91, wants to cruise one more time. If my husband passes before Dad (very possible), and if cruising becomes safe again, I am considering doing that "last" cruise with him. But right now, I would not want Dad on a cruise ship.
Common sense and kindness need to prevail during these difficult times. If you value your life and that of your family and friends always err on the side of caution.
Covid is real.
Covid started from China. That's a fact.
What is not true?
Masks are effective- not true.
Vaccines are safe- not true
Vaccines are effective- not true
Covid tests are accurate- not true
After firing all the unvaxxed heath care workers California is now telling covid positive nurses and doctors that they have to work because of the personal shortage they created. Where's the science behind that decision?
What's wrong if they want to enjoy a cruise? The alternative will be to to have a boring long wait until they die. If it were my case, I wouldn't cancel the cruise even if I die in the attempt. I rather die happy than bored.
Personally, I take the vaccine, and aside from being more careful where I put my hands in public, I live my life normally. I don't wear the mask unless forced to, and I don't restrict my activities. To me, that's reasonable.
But, I think we have to let people make their own personal decisions about risk, including your father and sister. My mother is 78. My mask-NAZI brother has been living his life in a bubble for the last couple of years, and he bosses our mother around and treats her like a child, which drives her insane. I treat her as an intelligent adult with agency who makes her own life and risk decisions.
I hope your sister has a wonderful time! No regrets needed; you did what was right for yourself and your dad. Just keep in touch with your sister, support her choice. Tell her to take lots of pictures.
Think about a Plan B, using the $$ saved from the cancelled plans. I bet your sister and you can come up with a way to spend time while she is able. If you make a list of possibilities and she makes a list, there will be something you all can do after her cruise...some good suggestions in the other responses to get you thinking. A Plan B will go a long way towards getting past regret. Be kind to yourself....
Expectation is the death of serenity.
For those who do choose to go, know that a cruise ship is one of the safest, cleanest places to be. Their cleaning protocols are top-notch. And the ships are maybe half capacity if even that much. You're more likely to contract covid in your daily lives when out and about.
I understand your sister wanting to go. It would be what I would do as well in her situation. And hopefully she has a balcony room, so if not up to it, she can stay part of the time in her cabin enjoying the sea breeze. And if she contacts guest services or the special needs department, she could probably get the room service fees waived, should she want to eat in her room, even some of the time.
And please encourage her to buy travel insurance for the medical portion of it. Although at least Royal Caribbean is taking very good of any who do test positive, whether symptomatic or not. They provided a hotel for the person after the cruise for the quarantine period. And of course, the majority do not get covid.
But your choosing not to go is a valid choice... just be comfortable with it and don't beat yourself up over it. Be kind to yourself!