This week my entire family and I are going down to FL to scatter my Aunt's ashes. I'm not planning anything elaborate, just relaxed and informal. We spent many decades visiting her (and her still-going-strong sister, age 104) so I'd like to put ashes somewhere in their humble back yard I will inherit their house so not worried about future owners) and will put some into the ocean where we spent many fun times together. There are a lot of rules about "burial at sea" so it needs to be discrete. Some of the ashes are being saved for when my Mom and other remaining Aunt pass and are also cremated -- they want their ashes together (and I'll probably do the same scattering locations for that as well).
I was thinking of maybe burying some under their concrete bird bath (along with some flower petals, with an informal "ceremony") or, the house is in need of a shade tree so was thinking of sprinkling them in the hole while planting it.
At the ocean is trickier since it is often windy and there may be other swimmers there... so we'll try to do it on a less busy day and time. It's been suggested to also scatter flower petals when the ashes are released to follow their trail.
I read on a blog that the ashes look more like concrete mix so there are bone fragments in it.
I would be very grateful for any other helpful facts and creative suggestions!
Yesterday we scattered 1/3 of her ashes in the garden of the home she shared with her sister since 1977. Everyone got a chance to scatter some of the ashes. Read the "ashes to ashes" commission from the Book of Common Prayer, read scripture, prayed, shared loving memories of her and I kissed everyone and told them how much Aunt Nancy loved them her whole life, thanked them for loving her, visiting her, being generous to her and thinking of her. My youngest son (now age 24) cried so hard it took everyone by surprise.
Today we all went to "our beach" in our bathing suits with more of her ashes in a large conch shell. Did a similar ceremony, read the Disturb Us O Lord prayer by Sir Francis Drake, then released the ashes underwater, scattered flowers above it. It was sweet and peaceful to watch the white cloud of ashes-to-sand stream out in the current with red, pink and yellow flowers floating above on the crystal clear blue-green water.
Thank you to everyone who commented and left your thoughts and ideas.
Here is a link to ideas about scattering ashes in Florida and rules pertaining to doing so:
https://www.thelivingurn.com/blogs/news/state-guide-to-scattering-ashes-florida-edition
Best of luck to you.
If you plan on doing this on the sly in the ocean, get away from shore, just common courtesy, IMO.
In our case, the only restriction is if ashes are scattered in the water, they must be scattered at least three miles from the shore.
Some choose a body of water, a garden, a favorite park, etc.
I would choose a place that had special meaning to your aunt.
Many people choose to have a memorial service at the same time as the scattering of their ashes.
Your aunt was blessed to have a niece who cared about her so very much.
I would also take a few photos from the event to share with her sister if you feel that is appropriate to share them with her.
Sounds like a beautiful and meaningful day for the entire family.
I’m sure that your aunt knew how much all of you loved her.
A was diagnosed with ALZ. In the early stage her DIL asked her what did she want for her funeral. A said to cremate her and then put her Mom, her husband and her together somewhere. The DIL asked her where was the Moms ashes. A says "Under the bird bath in the back yard" where's Bill. A says "down in the cellar in the filing cabinet under "B"...for Bill.
See All Answers