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My husband takes an afternoon nap around 3:30 pm that is lasting until at least 10pm, missing meals and meds. Should I let him sleep? He is late stage demetia.

Is he sleeping through the night?

Towards the end they often start sleeping more and more and eating less.

My concern is you, when do you get to sleep?
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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As one nears end of life it is very normal that they sleep more, and eat less, so I would just let him sleep. If he's hungry when he wakes up, he will let you know.
I hope by this point that you have hospice on board, as they can answer any questions you may have, and be extra eyes on him as well.

My late husband who had vascular dementia slept about 16 hours/day the last year of his life and about 20 hours/day as he got closer to the end of his life.
I wish you well as you take this final journey with your husband.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Late stage dementia means different things to different people so it's hard to say based on that alone.
I believe it is helpful for the caregiver to keep some king of routine, waking him up would not only allow you to get his dinner (and no doubt medications) but ensure his incontinence product is taken care of, his moving about more will also help avert pressure sores. And as others have already mentioned, taking care of all those things earlier means also you aren't taking care of them from 10 o'clock on when he does wake up, because your quality of life matters too.
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Reply to cwillie
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As long as the napping and meal skipping doesn't cause him to be awake at night, doing things that are disruptive (talking to you when you want to sleep, doing things that are not safe, etc)
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Reply to Geaton777
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When he wakes up does he go to bed for the night at a "normal" time?
Does he wander the house at night keeping you awake?
If he takes long naps and then goes to bed for the night at a typical time and sleeps through the night and wakes at a usual morning time there does not seem to be a problem with letting him sleep.
If the medications are necessary can the times given be adjusted to his sleep schedule?

My Husband went from sleeping a typical 7 to 8 hours a night to sleeping 12 hours and this was early in his diagnosis as he declined he went from 12 hours of sleep at night to 16 or 18 hours in a 24 hour time and the last year he was sleeping 20 to 23 hours. I would wake him to change him, reposition him and he would wake to eat (sometimes) Waking him was not a "problem" he fell back to sleep within minutes.
I did adjust his meals. His larger meal and more filling one was in the morning when he was more awake and participatory the rest of the "meals" were small more like snacks when he was awake. By this time his meals were all pureed and liquids were thickened.

Sleeping longer, more often is one of the declines that Hospice will take into account when recertifying a patient for Hospice.

So I guess the answer to your question is
Letting him sleep is not "wrong"
If he is still mobile and if his sleeping during the day prevents him from sleeping at night and YOU are not getting sleep because he is up and either wandering around or trying to get your attention then I would wake him during the day and try to keep him awake.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I would. It is true of elders in general, with or without dementia, that more sleep and less eating is the norm. With dementia, some more than others there can be really an enormous amount of sleep. I cannot see a reason, if there is adequate waking time for exercise and moving about, why sleep should be disturbed. This is a sleep pattern in the brain that cannot be changed by management overall very successfully.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Jane471, in a previous posting you mentioned that your husband is in Memory Care. I would speak with the Staff at the Memory Care facility regarding your husband missing meals and meds.
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Reply to freqflyer
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Jane471: This could be deemed okay as long as he's then sleeping through the night. Speak to the staff of his Memory Care facility about the fact that he's missing meals AND medication distribution as that must be addressed.

freqflyer mentions that your husband is in memory care.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Yes. Every bit of stimulation is draining his brain, leaving him exhausted.

Is his sleep pattern off? If he is waking from a nap at 10pm, then what does he do?

You can try gradually shifting his wake/sleep patterns, by waking him earlier than 10pm, so hopefully he'll sleep over night.
My husband suffered vascular dementia as a result of a massive stroke. He initially slept about 16 hours a day. He has been slowly become more cognizant, and now is on a regular schedule. It's been 9 years of "progress". But, with dementia I assume the opposite would hold true, that is, he may start to decline and sleep more as the disease progresses.

For your husband, thinking, and processing every little bit of information his brain receives is exhausting. Try to limit over stimulation, and keep to a consistent routine. Routine is key!
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Write down a daily schedule in case a sitter comes in. If he agrees with a 2 hour nap, then go ahead and wake him up so he can sleep at night.
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Reply to jwellsy
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As long as you get enough sleep, then it is ok. If he is turned around on days and nights and interrupts your sleep, then you need to help him stay awake more during the day so he can sleep at night.
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Reply to Taarna
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TouchMatters Oct 11, 2024
Very sensitive and perfect response.
Thank you, Gena
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Late stage - I'd agree with another (if his sleeping schedule doesn't interfere with your sleep(ing) schedule, let him do what his body and brain wants to do.

You might also want to ask his medical provider although if it were my spouse, I would let him sleep (since it appears he needs it ).

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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