My mom has been living with my sister for over 20 years. For the past 6 years, mom's physical health has been declining with her energy to do her overall finances. So my sister convinced her to combine their incomes into a joint account and sister would pay the majority of bills. Mom's income is 80%+ greater than sister's SSD. Mom's income has paid for over 10 years the mortgage, all major maintenance and repairs, credit cards, medical expenses and other expenses. Sister believes that since she paid these bills online through their joint account she 'paid' the mortgage and all other bills.
I have a substantial amount of paperwork documenting Mom's income contributions and payments prior to the combining of their incomes into one account.
Additionally, sister has misrepresented to mom that only 1 person can be a signatory on bank accounts and that my brother and I could only be beneficiaries. Both the bank and mom's attorney have told us that we can be signatories and my sister misrepresented this information to mom (recently turned 89).
I guess my question is do I have a leg to stand on to file for financial guardianship of mom's finances. Mom is in relatively good cognitive function, except when sister pushes vicodin when mom is having a bout with her restless leg and leg cramps. Mom's doctor is very well aware of sister's behavior and refused to accept her as a patient when Mom and sister relocated back to where my brother & I along with other family members and mom's close friends.
My brother & I (as well as other family and close friends) recognize Mom is manipulated by sister (some say brainwashed) and is often verbally abused by sister especially when sister is either high on prescribed pain medication or her blood sugar is crashing. Mom feels that sister needs her to take care of her physically and financially. Even the weekly housekeeper is becoming concerned for Mom's well being.
Recently, sister allowed the trash to collect in the apartment that it caused smells which could be smelled outside their apartment. Management has placed them on notice about this, the amount of stuff from boxes, furniture, clothing, etc (yes, sister is a hoarder),as well as sister's friend who recently moved in and is living on the living room couch.
What do I do? call for an endangerment assessment by Dept of Elderly Affairs? or just let it by as my brother feels we should do?
Financial issues notwithstanding, the physical situation will probably result in a crisis sooner than later, so I would try to use that to get control away from your sister.
From what you described about the phone situation, it sounds like a control issue is going on.
From what you described about interfering with your visit on visitation day, it sounds to me like isolation.
These two things should really raise some red flags with you and everyone else involved. That's because these two signs indicate abuse. I recognize this because I myself am a survivor of childhood abuse. Abuse never discriminates. Abuse can happen to anyone of any age, race, background, rich or poor. What you need to do is to make a report and take a cop with you over to the house. All you have to do when you make the report is to tell the responding officer that you suspect abuse against your mom because there are signs of it. Just tell them what you told us here and specify the isolation and the control issues. It sounds to me like your sister is definitely hiding something. I strongly suspect that abuse most likely has something to do with why your mom agreed to combine her finances into the other account, she was most likely cleverly coerced through manipulation.
You should also recognize something else:
You mentioned that your mom has been paying several of the expenses. I know that room and board is definitely not cheap, nor are other related expenses. If your mom is getting more money than your sister, then she may very likely have been financially abused and taken advantage of because of that. This is what it sounds like to me.
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