My sister had my mother move in with her and sold her house for $500k. She used this money to purchase a condo that is used by her son. In addition my mother used her IRA monies to pay off the debt of her grandson.
My mother fell and now needs to be in an assisted living home. My sister says she can no longer care for my mother at her home. She is now pressuring my mother to ask me to pay for 1/2 of her care.
When anyone confronts my sister, she becomes argumentative and combative.
I have supported my mother for the past 20 years, providing all financial needs without any help from my sister. The assets my mother had and gave my sister were to provide monies needed for my mother's care in later life.
In addition, I might call APS to report sis's financial abuse of your mother
Just curious and you don't have to answer...why did u need to support your Mom when she had an IRA and a 500k home. She could have sold the home and used the proceeds to help pay for an apartment.
What I see here is sis seems to be able to get everything she wants from Mom. She took Mom in just so she could get the house and now realizes that Mom takes more care then she wants to give. Oh well, Sis has made her bed. Whether the condo is in Moms name or Sisters, she is going to have to sell it and poor little grandson will need to live somewhere else. She has made her bed. You are not responsible to get her out of a mess she has gotten herself into. And at this point, thats what I would tell her and Mom. You cared for Mom for 20 years, you got nothing for it. Sister got the IRA and the house. Its up to her to figure out how to pay for Moms care.
I have a feeling you are the easy going daughter. Would not think about doing what your sister has. You need to now stand up for yourself even if it means being estranged. I feel you have probably allowed yourself to be taken advantage of because it was easier than fighting or it really wasn't that important at the time. Your sister has the means of fixing her problem. Sell the Condo. Good Luck.
Your profile states that your mother is already in AL. If your mother needs money to pay for AL, then your sister will have to sell the condo. I assume it is in her name?
Stand firm, say NO, and don't let any cajoling on the part of "Dear Mama" sway you. Remember, your mother allowed YOU to pay for her financial needs while she was giving away so much money to your sister and your nephew.
Does your sister have power of attorney? There may be an issue if eventually the money is used up and you have to file for Medicaid. It would be wise to consult an elder law attorney to determine what would be in your Mother’s best interest.
Get her and her son prosecuted for the financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior and theft that they have committed.
Sorry but your sister is not a nice person to do this to her mom.
And I echo the question as to why you have been paying for ANY of your mother's expenses when such blatant financial abuse was taking place.
If there isn't money to pay for Care, then sis gets to keep providing the care.
Call APS to report financial exploitation.
At least you are in California, are mom and sis as well? Medicaid look back in CA is 2.5 years elsewhere 5 years.