My father has recently been diagnosed with dementia. He lives with me and I care for him. He often says he wants to do certain things (like go to the store alone) that he really shouldn’t do. Should I tell him he has dementia? He doesn’t like it when I don’t give him a good reason why he can’t do certain things.
But what would explaining the D diagnosis accomplish?
Will it help change his behaviour?
Would he believe you?
Would he think you were lying? Would this confuse him, anger him, upset him?
Would he understand Dementia is a life-limiting progressive condition that will steal his independence?
Do you want him to? 😥
What symptoms are his particular dementia causing? For example: does he have difficulty finding his way to, from or around familiar places? Does he sometimes forget what he is doing in the middle of doing it? Does he become anxious and confused when there are multiple conversations happening, or a lot of noise? How's his mobility - his balance, stamina and so on?
Depending on what his issues are, frame your advice in those terms. For example: "it's a long walk from the car park to that store and it'll be really busy just now. I'm going this afternoon, won't you wait and come with me?"
In terms of discussing and explaining dementia and how it affects him, that should already have been done by his doctor. Has it?
Focus on what your Dad is still able and willing to do, even if you have to make up the activity (like folding "laundry", pairing socks, sorting nuts and bolts, cutting old clothes into rags, etc). "Purposeful" activity is the best for the mental health of seniors, if at all possible.