My mom was hospitalized for nearly four months with septic shock earlier this year. Nine days on a ventilator. Although she is making a good recovery - slow but steady - she's frail in a way that she wasn't before, and is often too hot or too cold.
We want to make an informed decision about her attending this wedding. She will have to fly across the country and will have only a day or two to get acclimated there before the wedding, then fly back home. My feeling is that her recovery is still underway and the August temps in Austin are beastly high - much hotter than she is used to. The focus will be on the bride and groom, as it should be, but knowing my Mom she will not tell anyone if she's not feeling well, the whole thing is out in the country, all outdoors, and if her body can't handle the high 90's into 100 degree temperatures it could be too late.
I would appreciate some advice on this - thanks!
There's the trip just going to the airport itself, finding parking, taking the shuttle bus.... or leaving your Mother off in front of the airport hopeful with someone from the family while you park your vehicle.... better yet, take a cab.
Now a days it is recommended you get to the airport 1.5 to 2 hours before take off... that is a long wait for someone who is 85. Then there is TSA Security, best to go to their website and get all the information regarding traveling with someone who is *disabled* [frail would qualify]... your Mom might find security a bit overwhelming.... ask the airline for use of a wheelchair as there are long walks everywhere in the terminal, even to the rest rooms.
Your Mom's jet lag could take more than a couple of days to recoup before the wedding. Everything takes longer when you are 85. When in Austin she might not want to attend the wedding, would she be ok in the hotel by herself if you attend the ceremony?
Then there will be the return trip.
Personally, I think it would be too much for your Mom.
I had to fly from Michigan to Texas in either March or April (dont' remember for sure) to bring my parents back when my father went into CHF, and although we made it w/o incident, it was a real challenge.
Bathroom lines were long; both were in wheelchairs, we needed assistance just to make our connecting flight and almost missed it, and we did ankle pumps and lega raises on the plane on the way home to avoid coagulated blood in their older veins (and in my veins as well!).
Personally, I wouldn't take the chance. I was going to suggest what VegasLady suggested - either video stream or video the wedding and send a tape to your mother.
So many events are videoed these days. When my mother died in 2002, one of the church members videod the funeral, made copies for us, and we sent them to relatives.
Perhaps the happy couple could even set up a special time to call or Skype with your mother so she can personally share her greetings and best wishes for them. I think this would be a really personal touch for the couple and for your mother.
It'll be much more pleasurable than the disruption and stress of flying so far and back in such a short time.
Eventually us frequent flyers learned the drill.... don't wear any metal [such as pants that have grommets or glued on metal decorations] .... don't put on anything that contains glycerin [hand lotions, face creams, etc].... don't bring on gift wrapped items as TSA might need to unwrap said item for a closer inspection... the TSA website has a list of what food items or perfumes and sizes you can bring in your checked suitcase [cannot be in carry-on]. It's all a learning process.
My mom wants me to travel with her across the country to see my brother. I thought about it and have decided no way. She is 91 and hasn't flown in years. Although she sees it as a direct flight, there is arriving a few hrs in advance of flight, then hoping the plane isn't delayed or worse yet being trapped on the tarmack without food, water, then the tricky bathroom on a long flight. I could go on, but I wouldn't take an elder unless absolutely necessary or they can be accompanied both ways by a caregiver.
We also have a wedding coming up. I've decided that she will be happier to not be in a crowd of strangers, having to sit thru a long day, and for my sake; being able to enjoy my sons wedding without worrying over her or having her "only want to be with me". I've decided as others have posted to have the wedding couple visit afterwards, share pictures and make it a special day with her after the wedding.
I also like the idea of streaming video. I don't know exactly how to do that, either, but you could probably find an eleven-year-old in the family that does. I viewed by granddaughter's distant wedding online, as it was happening. I just wish I'd thought to buy me piece or two of wedding cake to eat while watching it!
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