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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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jmartinij, I see from your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia, so please note what she is doing is normal. From what I have read, this is a phase, so just grin and bear it until it stops.
Could you put out of sight the tissue boxes and have her use handkerchiefs? The hankies cannot be torn up, but then she might find other things to tear up like paper towels, newspapers, magazines, mail. But the hankies might be worth a try. And give her something she can tear up.
My MIL would collect napkins, straws, jelly packets, sugar, creamers and whatever else would fit in her purse. At that point you either stop taking the purse or you stop taking the patient.
My Mom used to fold and resold tissues. It seemed a way to keep her hands busy. Maybe you can find something else for her to do. We were given an activity made for dementia patients. It is a piece of cloth with different things attached like ribbons!of different textures. As time went on my Mom really liked it, when she was no longer walking and could not get the tissues. Best wishes to you.
My mom always has tissues in her pockets or up her sleeves. I also find paper towels folded in her drawers. i thought it was just her. Who knew this was normal behavior for dementia patients. I just pick up after her when she isn't watching or out of her room. If this is the only annoying habit I will face with her, I can deal.
My mom's obsession with tissues has been an ongoing annoyance. I constantly pick up bits and pieces everywhere, even in the car and in the washer or dryer if I don't check her pockets. I've even found used toilet paper in her purse if I don't supervise her in the bathroom closely. She will even carry a tissue box around her with the purse and stuff the box with whatever will fit and/or tear up the box. The purse is an issue in itself. I bought a few envelope style zippered purses at the thrift store since she gets pretty gross, tears out the insides eventually and "worries" them to death. I've pitched quite a few out of disgust. I let her carry a small billfold with nothing in it now, since she would lose any card and would drop money and walk away. Lipstick disappeared long ago and lately, even Chapstick, since she digs her nails in those and thinks they're hand lotion, I guess, and that ends up everywhere. I need to empty the purse and spritz it at least once a day, inside and out. I keep her nails shorter now. She wears glasses that I'm cleaning constantly, and she drops those and the billfold constantly. Could be worse, but I'll be glad when she really doesn't care about the purse anymore. Now let me tell you about shoes...no, another time.
This is very interesting. I didn't know this could be a symptom of dementia. My mom is newly blind. Having glaucoma, she has had to put drops in her eyes thus the Kleenex. The glaucoma has taken its toll now and drops are no longer required, but her need of Kleenex has continued. I find them wadded up under her pillow, all around her chair in the living room. There's a trail wherever she goes and yes also in her pockets and purse. If I say something to her about the mess she will blame the dogs. Being tested for dementia is kind of iffy because she's blind and half the test is written. So my sister and I are always wondering if something mental is going on.
Interesting . . . my father-in-law hoards napkins, tissues, paper towels, bits and pieces of paper, etc in his pockets. I am constantly picking them up. I didn't know this was 'normal' for dementia patients. I really thought it was because I don't permit him to put stuff in the various receptacles in the kitchen (compost vs curbside recycling vs non-curbside recycling vs garbage going to the landfill) because he doesn't know what goes where. And I don't expect him to. I do encourage him to put the paper stuff in the receptacles in the bathrooms, but he doesn't want to do that! So now that I know the tissue thing is fairly typical, I'll just try to take it in stride. Thanks
My mom has vascular dementia. She was a very active person prior to the stroke that gave her this condition. When she folds and tears things its a sign of that active person now bored looking for something useful to do. All things for them take time, so not all will work depending on what's going on for the day: give cheap pretty napkens to fold and tear (dollar tree biglots 99 cent store) coloring book (they make adult ones) bedmaking, towel folding, sock folding, light yard work, a short walk, they make fidget aprons with buttons and ribbons. If you have a handy friend they can make you one. I take mom to a church Alzheimer's day care two times a week, they have arts in crafts and singing and church. Shes tired after and doesnt fiddle as much. There's always going to be stuff like this till there is no more stuff. I keep that in mind when she uses the towels for tp! :)
When my Mom lived in her home, there were used tissues everywhere. She continued to use tons living with me. She would go through boxes of 200ct in no time. She did have a problem with a runny nose constantly. Dr. put her on Claritan. Helpes alot. I too would find them up sleeves, in pockets. Bad thing is forgetting to check before washing her clothes and having them all over the washer and clogging the dryer filter.
When my mother in law came to live with us almost three years ago we quickly learned about the tissue, napkin etc. obsession. We started going through a box of tissues a day. They were stuffed down in her chair, up sleeves, down her bra and anywhere else she could hide them. We went out and bought colorful bandanas for her. We give her one or two a day depending on what she does with it and she likes the colors. She hasn't asked for any paper products since then but now she has to have the bandana at all times. A good trade off.
My mom had a huge tissue habit for a while. She would have tissues or napkins in her pockets and walker. She also complained that her nose was constantly running. So maybe that was a contributing factor. I actually noticed recently that it seems to have subsided.
Mom loves tissue and note pads - hides them in her bra etc
I've observed folks at mom's memory care touching things in odd ways which mom doesn't do
She is absolutely dependent upon her purse there so I bought her a cheap cross body one that she wears around her neck
A little coin purse to stuff her money (fake of course) and plenty of tissues - purse size packs I also fill little baggies with life savers and peppermint candies And the back of the purse holds a copy of readers digest or a magazine to keep her busy
She loses this purse constantly and sometimes it takes staff a couple of days to find it - if it takes too long then I offer up a gift card for them to look harder
When I clean it out I find some treasures in it too like silverware from the dining room a used ice cream dish and once a jelly donut -
While at home mom hid things on the kleenex box - missing keys ?
What drove me nuts at home is now to starting to fade so I do as much as I can to spoil her at memory care since dementia seems so unfair
My mom has been doing this as well. Turns out she has been "leaking" and was using the napkins as a feminine pad for beginning (and now almost full blown) incontinence. The napkins, tissues and little pieces of tissue were often from those that had fallen out of her underpants! I was finally able to get Mom into Depends last week, but we're still finding nicely folded wads of toilet paper, tissues and napkins around the house. Luckily most of them are unused!
Perhaps this is an entirely different issue (incontinence), but maybe not. Personally, I like the idea of the "Activity Lap Blanket" and am going to make one for Mom! 1) This will keep her hands busy. 2) She is always cold!
Good luck! We have all been there in some way or another, so we understand the caregiving puzzlement and frustration. Keep on keeping on!!!
Lost my mom August 10, this year" Mom had dementia and tearing tissue folding them is normal, what I know and have experience tearing up tissue is something you would rather her to be doing.. It keep her still so you don't have to worry about her trying to get up and might fall or getting aggressive believe me you have not seen anything yet so sit back and let her do what she's doing because worst is coming. Sorry for being so blunt wish someone was this blunt with me doing her process.
Wow. I can't believe how many caregivers deal with this same issue as I do with the hiding of everything and the tissue thing. That's why I live this blog/support site. It is Such great support👍🏻‼️
HeeHee. I chuckled when I read this. I thought it was just my aunt. Also the lost car keys showed up on her bureau 2 weeks later. (kept the spare ones with me.) My solution happened accidentally. My 2-yr old lab/still puppy quickly decided to chew all tissues or paper napkins that have her smell on them.
Reminds also of traveling in Greece where the elderly play with worry beads - something for their hands to do while they sit and watch others being busy
Folding towels and sorting socks are perfect as is putting away the silverware in the drawer - everyone likes to help to do something while they still can
My Mom started putting the used tissues back in the box. Even though she had a sm. trash can right there. Then I'd find a pile of tissues out of the box. One time the box was torn up. Another I think she thought it was a mail box. So, I got a wooden tissue box stand put the box in it. Then she could only take one tissue out at a time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Could you put out of sight the tissue boxes and have her use handkerchiefs? The hankies cannot be torn up, but then she might find other things to tear up like paper towels, newspapers, magazines, mail. But the hankies might be worth a try. And give her something she can tear up.
I've observed folks at mom's memory care touching things in odd ways which mom doesn't do
She is absolutely dependent upon her purse there so I bought her a cheap cross body one that she wears around her neck
A little coin purse to stuff her money (fake of course) and plenty of tissues - purse size packs
I also fill little baggies with life savers and peppermint candies
And the back of the purse holds a copy of readers digest or a magazine to keep her busy
She loses this purse constantly and sometimes it takes staff a couple of days to find it - if it takes too long then I offer up a gift card for them to look harder
When I clean it out I find some treasures in it too like silverware from the dining room a used ice cream dish and once a jelly donut -
While at home mom hid things on the kleenex box - missing keys ?
What drove me nuts at home is now to starting to fade so I do as much as I can to spoil her at memory care since dementia seems so unfair
Perhaps this is an entirely different issue (incontinence), but maybe not.
Personally, I like the idea of the "Activity Lap Blanket" and am going to make one for Mom!
1) This will keep her hands busy.
2) She is always cold!
Good luck! We have all been there in some way or another, so we understand the caregiving puzzlement and frustration. Keep on keeping on!!!
Such great support👍🏻‼️
My solution happened accidentally. My 2-yr old lab/still puppy quickly decided to chew all tissues or paper napkins that have her smell on them.
Folding towels and sorting socks are perfect as is putting away the silverware in the drawer - everyone likes to help to do something while they still can