I'm a little worried about my brother. I had to take over medical care for my mom with stage 7 Alzheimer's. He's just in denial. He was scheduling eye doctor appointments despite her not being to answer questions about what letter she might actually be seeing. She has multiple apraxias and no longer can figure out how to operate a sink faucet. He was there for one such episode and describes it as not having enough strength to operate it. Should I just give up on him? I don't think I'm able to reach him at this stage.
If he is then you can not "take over"
You can petition to become mom's Guardian. This is not an easy task as there are more legalities to it than a POA. It is time consuming, detailed and it can be expensive (although cost should be borne by the "Ward" (your mom)
You don't "give up" on him. You let him have the time he needs to process and accept. (Look up the 7 stages)
But you may have to take on more responsibility if he can not do what needs to be done to keep mom SAFE. SAFE is the goal here.
the doctors and consultant told us my dad was at last stage of life
and in one of their words
we just let them fade away when they’re like this
I disagreed
it wasn’t my fathers time and they were just speeding the process along
18 months ok after and my father doing well and discharged as ok!
so why not let your brother try
yes-the symptoms are there ( like my father) but who knows maybe sone can be reversed
and as long as your mothers ok with it
why not
my very first friend in work was told are 19 she had few weeks to live
she said yeah-just watch me
20 years later the cancer returned and she was told the same thing
and guess wot
dajavu
as long as your mothers ok with it I’d say let him try
at least he knew he tried and tried to make mins time more comfortable for her?
it could be denial but it could also be I want to try?
Perhaps you could get some basic info and give that to him in written form or in the form of a video if that makes it easier for him.
He could surely be in denial and that's common. You can't really blame him for wanting to protect himself from this kind of thing, but if he is her primary caretaker that's a different story. He will need to educate himself in that case. Does he live with her?
At this stage, if you want to care for her personally, you may want to see if she qualifies for Hospice. You still will be doing most of her care but you will able to get supplies and durable equipment like a hospital bed. Some of the supplies you will get is Depends and chux. An aide will come out to bathe her and maybe can stay long enough so you can run errands or just get away for a little while. There will be no more doctor or hospital visits.
The eye doctor visit. If she can no longer read, she really probably does not need new glasses. My nephew has been wearing glasses since 8 months old. I asked his doctor how he can determine what strength he needed. I was told by how the light refracs off the retina. She should be checked for glocoma and degenerative eye desease because both cause blindness.
How old is your brother? Old enough to have cognitive problems himself? Just a thought...
And, I agree. Unless he is in any kind of position of responsibility to care for their mother, focus time and energy where it is needed - their mother. Gena