Fairly recently my elderly parents were "talked into" putting all of their assets into a Trust (Main residence, summer home, bank accounts, etc). Mother was very hesitant and slightly confused on how this would benefit her and her family as she had always maintained a tight grip on all of her family's finances, but ended up signing on the dotted line making one of her son's trustee. Subsequent to having the Trust put into place she felt she had been robbed and didn't trust her son.
Fast forward a few months and mom's confusion has become fairly profound. Multiple short term rehab stays and now needs 24 hour care. Found a very reputable Assisted Living facility very close to all of the siblings and she was ultimately accepted. Paid the several thousand dollar initial fee out of my pocket to get her room reserved and in her name. Siblings visited and were very impressed with the facility and staff. NOW my brother (Trustee) is refusing to pay for her care from the assets in the Trust!!
Elderly father still resides in the main residence and although on his own, requires meals cooked (other than microwave) and is incapable of providing any type of care for his wife, hence the assisted living.
In this case would my father be responsible for paying her bills since they are still legally married? He/they still maintain joint bank accounts outside the Trust with ample funds to pay for her assisted living costs. If my mother was mentally able she would write the checks herself!!
You need to sit with your brother and not let mom's confused view of things cloud the issue. I hope that this is easily resolved.
One of the more important pieces of advice that is often given here is for siblings to communicate with each other, not through their parents. I'm not saying that this is true in your family, but some elders seek to control their fates by sowing dissension among their children, creating mistrust and anger.
I truly hope this works out.
How was the trust done? Like mom & dad went to an estate attorney to have paperwork drawn up, signed & witnessed? Or did Bro bring them something to sign? Do you or dad have a copy of the trust and know what kind of trust was done? Have the homes & bank accounts been transferred into the trust name & for the homes been recorded at the courthouse?
Just out of curiosity, what is trust brothers wife like?