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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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He gets up in the night, goes to toilet but soils pyjamas and removes them. Returns to bed and it’s a mess. He also removes depends. Moderate dementia. Doesn’t understand what to do and denies it’s him.
Have you thought of a bedside alarm pad which would let you know when he gets up? If he manages to get to the toilet, and you could get there too, it might avoid the ‘mess’.
It sounds like this is getting beyond what you can handle alone. If you refuse to place him, you need to hire someone to help overnight so you can get rest that YOU need to stay healthy and strong to care for him during the day. There is no magic solution if you’ve already tried anti-strip clothing. He is going to be unhappy as his disease progresses. You can’t always solve everything on your own. This is getting extreme.
Interested in the baby bumper and bed pads. It’s cruel frankly to think about placement for this. My husband has moderate dementia and gets up several times a night. He gets very upset if I try to help. I also sleep though at least once. He removes whatever and yes it’s a mess cuz he doesn’t wash his hands. Pull-ups aren’t an option cuz he’ll remove them and onesies he rips in frustration. He’s very fussy about being clean. Can’t imagine him accepting bowel movements overnight. I’m still searching for last night’s boxer briefs and pyjama pants. I’ve tried sleeping in a separate room with a baby monitor but he gets very anxious and comes into the room crying not knowing if I’ve abandoned him. I’m pretty determined to keep him home as long as he has mobility. Big worry is that placement would leave him in his mess overnight. And he most definitely would feel abandoned. Any ideas how to address this would be greatly appreciated.
I’m truly sorry you’re having to deal with this every night. I definitely relate as I have the same problem with my mother who has severe Alzheimer’s. I recently purchased what looks like a half sheet to go over the top sheet of the bed. If it works, I will let you know. I ordered it from Amazon. It had great reviews. At least you won’t have to wash the sheets every single day. It is supposedly washable and will not slip on the sheets. May God be with you. I know exactly what you’re going through. ❤️🙏🏻
Do you think a hospice nurse will zip on over to her house at 3am to clean up the husbands bm???? And the man should die bc he is pooping at a bad time???? How bout she dresses him in a disposable brief and anti strip pjs?
In my experience it may be time to make sure your hubby lets you know when he has to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night in order for you to accompany him. At night I tuck my husband in with a baby bumper of sorts. It kind of stops him from getting out of bed at night without me. It's complicated, it's hard, frustrating to have your sleep interrupted, I get it. In the end .. so worth it . Hang in there ..
Hi firstly I’d look at times he’s eating eat main meals earlier so that food can digest and toilet earlier next my dad uses incontinence lads because he has a knee lock immobile but we add an incontinence pad in as well that is just removed and use body wipes to wipe maybe get him to use that and have a lined bin for him to put soiled pants and wipes in - we use small bin bags lastly speak to his doctor to see if his medication isn’t affecting him
I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time. It is unfortunate and not fair to either one of you. You can a) manage the clean up. It's going to be a lot of work, and there are tools to help make it easier, such as disposable bed pads, keeping wipes near the toilet, maybe he can use to clean himself, just resign yourself to changing and washing the bedding every day, and bathing him. b) stay up all night, or hire a care provider to stay up at nights to help him to the bathroom. c) it is time for placement in a skilled nursing facility. Everyone has their limit. This is one that would prompt many into seeking care in a facility, because it is so difficult to manage on your own at home.
And don’t let anyone put wipes in the toilet. It will clog up the plumbing. Every time. Even though some say no clog. If dad is reliable to put them in trash good but many get confused with tp and wipes and then, another clog. With toilet water coming up in the shower, no flushing toilet, and after hours emergency plumbers and $$$. It’s just a little bit of what you asked but it can be a major headache. Agree with adjust diet or maybe use bedside commode. Also placement.
He’s lost the ability to handle this on his own and now requires help for every bathroom visit or depends change. You’ll need to decide if you can handle this on your own, considering the loss of sleep, or will need another plan to help him. Don’t confront him or argue over what he can’t understand anymore. I’m sorry you’re in this place with him
Consider hiring overnight caregiver that will toilet him during the night and dispose of all diapers and debris and keep his hands clean and him changed and back to bed. It would probably be best for you to sleep in a different room from him. It will take educating the caregiver on where supplies are located and routines. Caregiver could get his breakfast prepped and ready and do a load of laundry overnight and clean and tidy his bathroom and his supplies like diapers while she is there overnight. She can get his clothes ready for the next day, dentures cleaned and ready if appropriate, and get him to bed once she’s there and if you want to step away to your room. If able, she can supervise his am medication or pm medication which ever works best so you don’t have to. Meds need to be in a pill pack organizer . Aides just supervise. Over night hours vary but 10p-6a or 8 pm to 6 or 7 am. Whatever gives you time off to rest and know someone else is managing him. Costs are significant so depending on your situation, this may be a few months solution or longer. If it helps you as a temporary solution, consider it.
You need to supervise him in the bathroom...day and night. Yes this means that you get up when he gets up. OR There is "anti strip" clothing that you could get and put on him at night. Think of Adult "onesies"
but even with anti strip clothing you will have to supervise him more in the bathroom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
firstly I’d look at times he’s eating
eat main meals earlier so that food can digest and toilet earlier
next
my dad uses incontinence lads because he has a knee lock immobile
but we add an incontinence pad in as well that is just removed and use body wipes to wipe
maybe get him to use that and have a lined bin for him to put soiled pants and wipes in - we use small bin bags
lastly speak to his doctor to see if his medication isn’t affecting him
It is unfortunate and not fair to either one of you.
You can
a) manage the clean up. It's going to be a lot of work, and there are tools to help make it easier, such as disposable bed pads, keeping wipes near the toilet, maybe he can use to clean himself, just resign yourself to changing and washing the bedding every day, and bathing him.
b) stay up all night, or hire a care provider to stay up at nights to help him to the bathroom.
c) it is time for placement in a skilled nursing facility. Everyone has their limit. This is one that would prompt many into seeking care in a facility, because it is so difficult to manage on your own at home.
Also, review what he is eating at night that might causing him to have BMs in the night.
Yes this means that you get up when he gets up.
OR
There is "anti strip" clothing that you could get and put on him at night. Think of Adult "onesies"
but even with anti strip clothing you will have to supervise him more in the bathroom.