I have cared for my Mother who has dementia for years and I was told today that because she lives with me, she will lose part of her benefits and I have to submit a SS Payee form to continue receiving her SS check. She helps us with our bills and according to information I've read, that will no longer be an option. I am very concerned. Is anyone familiar with this? Thank you!
You need to do a rental agreement and a caregiver contract so that you are not being helped by her, but rather she is paying her own way.
When you become representative payee it is true, her money is to be used only for her. However, rent to have a home is for her. Care to be taken care of is for her. Get it.
I was told that I needed to become representative payee and that my dad couldn't touch his own money. I decided that he would not go for that and I never did it. Nothing happened. It was a call from me to get information and it taking 45 minutes for him to give them his SS # to talk to me that prompted that advice.
You should be able to get simple forms for rent and care. Be sure to include utilities and food as a percentage if it is a floating amount she pays.
You will have to keep detailed records if you become representative payee as they want an annual accounting.
Go to the website and read about it from the horse's mouth, I don't believe they can force you to implement rep payee, it seems to be part of the training, it takes up time to deal with a senior citizen and they are trying to minimize that spent time.
One thing I did do, I got on my dad's bank account so I could handle his money separately from mine. Never use her money for anything besides her and her needs, that could cause problems if she ever needs Medicaid. Her check should be directly deposited in an account that she is the main account holder.
Obviously you are in a tough situation, she helps you stay in your home. What is your plan to survive when she passes? Good time to start looking at that.
Edit: when I spoke with SSA they said it was a good thing I called because he wasn't going to be getting a check that month because they hadn't had a viable address for a year. They had sent notifications to that effect, but no response. Please don't worry about what was said, they will notify you in writing if you need to do anything.
I would say, though, stop relying on Moms income. It will stop one day and where will you be.
My Mom still had her house so I never changed her address for any of her bills. She moved in with me 2014, 2016 to an AL and 2017 to LTC. All that time I never changed her address. Her SS was direct deposited and I was on the account so I paid her bills. I really never thought of becoming her payee. She went on Medicaid for LTC and at that time I made the NH payee for SS and pension.
SS is not reduced. Go to the SS website for lots of information. It’s a little overwhelming. Going to an elder law attorney will help.
Your mother has had dementia and you caring for her for years?
Helping you pay "your bills"?
Tough question here...are you concerned of losing the money for her or for you?
Reason I ask is - Exploitation is a dangerous arena to even be accused of these days, especially by the Social Security Administration.
"Isthisrealyreal" gave you good advise. This is Mother's money and to be used for her.
My take... Mother should not be paying your bills.
In every realm, especially when dealing with the Social Security Administration, you need to keep things transparent.
To become mother's SS Payee, mother will have to be in tow when "she" tells the agent this is what she wants. But since she has dementia then you better have the proper medical forms from her doctor declaring her incapable. You should have previously been issued POA or guardianship documents.
Usually, POA's can't be established because by law a person has to be in their normal mental capacity for the attorney to set this in place.
I suggest you get a geriactric doctor to evaluate mother. Additionally, get advise from an elder law attorney. Then work to be appointed as her guardian.
If you are appointed payee by Social Security, then YOU have to give account of her money on the annual report SS requires.
In any event, keep mother's money straight and for her.
If you chose to do nothing and stay where you are with this then remember, your mother's quality of life is paramount. There maybe a day, if not already, when mother is ready for an assisted living or skilled nursing place. This will require medicaid since you wouldn't be able to afford private pay, even with mother's SS check.
Transparency is key. Wishing you the best in your endeavors with your mother's care.
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