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Mostly Independent
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Oh, Lordy! This is right up there on the irritation list for me. Deal with this all the time. Come to my kitchen to cook, the staring starts. Go in to set my dishwasher, the staring starts. Go to get something out of the icebox, the staring starts, reach for something out of the cabinet, the staring starts.
Some days I can tolerate it and try to hold a conversation. Other days I do as you stated and ask not to be starred at (does not work). I roll him back in front of the television and the area that has his activities and within seconds, he is turning the transport chair away from that area to focus back on me or whoever is in the darn kitchen. Headphones are my friends at times.
Just this morning again he rolls from his area to watch me set the dishwasher. I asked, you mean to tell me I'm more interesting than the television? You are starring again. No, I'm not he goes. I go turn the chair back toward the television. Then I go back to do what I was doing and you guessed it. So I just left it for later.
So no solutions from me but I feel your pain.
By the way, I think we lose with the stare back game rofl.
Most people watch a moving object (or person!) unless fully engaged in something else.
A friend's MIL used to creep silently around behind her in the house & copy her. She had some sort of neuro-brain problem & was on some heavy duty meds at the time.
This may be her version of Shadowing, a common dementia behavior where the afflicted person goes through a phase where they don't let the caregiver out of their sight without calling out for them or following them.
Is your mom immobile? If so, this may explain it. Your profile says she has vision issues, so maybe she's not secure in who or where you are. Can you give her a distraction, like sorting objects she can feel with her fingers, or folding a large pile of kitchen towels? I think this will be a phase, like many other dementia behaviors.
Does she have anything else to watch? She may be bored. Turn her towards the TV and find something she may like Or by the window so she can look out? I sort of need more info here
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Some days I can tolerate it and try to hold a conversation. Other days I do as you stated and ask not to be starred at (does not work). I roll him back in front of the television and the area that has his activities and within seconds, he is turning the transport chair away from that area to focus back on me or whoever is in the darn kitchen. Headphones are my friends at times.
Just this morning again he rolls from his area to watch me set the dishwasher. I asked, you mean to tell me I'm more interesting than the television? You are starring again. No, I'm not he goes. I go turn the chair back toward the television. Then I go back to do what I was doing and you guessed it. So I just left it for later.
So no solutions from me but I feel your pain.
By the way, I think we lose with the stare back game rofl.
A friend's MIL used to creep silently around behind her in the house & copy her. She had some sort of neuro-brain problem & was on some heavy duty meds at the time.
I agree with window or TV to view instead.
Is your mom immobile? If so, this may explain it. Your profile says she has vision issues, so maybe she's not secure in who or where you are. Can you give her a distraction, like sorting objects she can feel with her fingers, or folding a large pile of kitchen towels? I think this will be a phase, like many other dementia behaviors.
I have noticed this "staring" in post stroke patients