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I did a brief internet search and nothing about non-family members being banned from PoA can be found. I think whoever told you this doesn't know what they're talkinga about. And you can certainly be a guardian but you have to go through the courts to prove she needs one. It's and expensive process.
Executorship doesn't have any power until your stepmom dies, then the PoA or guardianship ends immediately and the executor takes over and follows the directives in the Will.
They may have something like a temp emergency yet we have not seen a court order at all. She was independent living at home (alone, which she shouldnt have been) but I was there every day after or during work for any care she would allow me to do. But my guardianship is in progress :-)
This sounds like either APS or another agency started a guardianship process after an issue.
Speak with an elder care attorney, work arounds can be done, it will require some creative use of different state addresses but yes you can override the states guardianship if they have one without having to deal with the whole court BS.
The issue was that she lived alone and shouldnt have but she would not live with me and I couldn't with her. Refusal of medical care, and frankly most care I tried to give. No one who came over to "help" were allowed to force her into the hospital for care or to her DR... so I couldn't force her either. But we are into our guardianship process and I have hope.
Signing POA is too late if she’s incompetent. If you want guardianship, go to court. Only a court can say “no” to you getting guardianship. See a lawyer. It costs a lot of money to go to court to seek guardianship.
POA has to be assigned before a person is found incompetent. Only SM can assign you POA. Guardianship is expensive but I thi k the cost can be taken out of SMs money if you win. As said, you need a lawyer for that.
As suggested. Maybe SM is now a Ward of the State. So the State determines what SNF she goes to.
Updating: APS is involved and is going for guardianship but I now have a lawyer in order to fight that and get my own in order to manage her care. That's all I want, is for her to be safe. She wants a nursing home now, where she was defiant tooth and nail for all the years I've been caring for her. It took us taking a fall together in order to get her TO a hospital for any type of care. (And, APS followed, unfort) I was going to let them know we were FINALLY getting some care and support, where all other local elder care organizations failed, after I'd gotten her safe and settled. Which is what she told me to do or she would have ME put in jail! They are the ones saying I can't be her guardian as I am a stepchild.....she has been my 'mother' for 50+ years! So I hope my lawyer as well as family, friends, and neighbors, for all the same number of years can help tell the story also. :-/ Im very scared of APS just taking her away. I'm feeling hopeless....
Generally speaking these agencies rather have a family deal with this then hand it over to an third party. You have to have some serious issues for the state to deny you.
Grandma1954 July 30, 2023 5:00 pm You could be her Guardian. There are many cases where a "non family" member has been made a Guardian. You can not be her POA as she is not competent to sign POA papers making you her POA Talk to an Elder Care Attorney.
Unfortunately step moms refusal to take care of business when she was competent is now coming back to bite her in the behind. I know trying to get guardianship is very expensive.
Is it worth it for you to spend a lot of money to do this? Personally I wouldn't especially since step mom made things so difficult for so long on you with getting her placed into a facility.
Does step mom have the money to pay for a facility that she specifically wants to go to or are you going to be paying for that too?
An incompetent person cannot confer POA on anyone. They must be competent to do so. This now becomes a conservatorship or guardianship. Be certain you wish to take this on. The record keeping is onerous and burdensome and must be meticulous.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In my state non-family members can be POAs.
Executorship doesn't have any power until your stepmom dies, then the PoA or guardianship ends immediately and the executor takes over and follows the directives in the Will.
From Riverdale
Speak with an elder care attorney, work arounds can be done, it will require some creative use of different state addresses but yes you can override the states guardianship if they have one without having to deal with the whole court BS.
As suggested. Maybe SM is now a Ward of the State. So the State determines what SNF she goes to.
Im very scared of APS just taking her away. I'm feeling hopeless....
You could be her Guardian. There are many cases where a "non family" member has been made a Guardian.
You can not be her POA as she is not competent to sign POA papers making you her POA
Talk to an Elder Care Attorney.
Is it worth it for you to spend a lot of money to do this? Personally I wouldn't especially since step mom made things so difficult for so long on you with getting her placed into a facility.
Does step mom have the money to pay for a facility that she specifically wants to go to or are you going to be paying for that too?