My husband lost his hearing while in the military for 25 years. His hearing has progressively gotten worse. He’s had hearing aids about 4 years now, recently getting a new pair. I encourage him all the time to wear them, yet he refuses. In our so-called conversations I am constantly having to repeat myself and often he doesn’t hear the full context or misses information. It has gotten to the point that I’ve tried talking to him & explaining the HA aren’t just for him, but for me too, yet he refuses. I am now at my wits end and do not even want to try to have any conversation with him. He gets angry that I’m not talking to him. I have found myself not only yelling at him to get him to hear me but sounding angry or mean, sometimes both. I do not want that but I am at my end &no longer want to even deal with it. What do I do?
Stop yelling. And I agree, after 45 yrs of marriage, I too sound angry when I need to talk louder and repeat my self. You may want to look at him when you talk and be right next to him. Does he have one ear better than the other, stay on that side. Tell him you will talk when you have something you need to tell him. But no full blown conversations until he uses his aids.
Ask why he does not like them. Some now have micro tubes that go in the ear. My Mom did not like them and switched to ear molds. The one problem with earmolds is the fit. Too tight you get a sore inner ear. Too lose and you get a whistle. The tubes attached, if you have over the ear, they can get earwax and need to be cleaned out. When you first fitted for a new hearing aide, there maybe tweeking needed. Every year the hearing aid should be checked. Tubing replaced because it hardens. Digital are computer adjusted. The high goes only so hi, the low, only so low. The setting when you turn it on, is the comfortable setting. When hearing gets worse, the digital needs to be adjusted.
Hope this helps. His world will be so much better if he could hear. I just downloaded the app for my husbands aid. Trying to see if it will bluetooth to my phone. I can adjust his hearing level from my phone. Also turn on and off background noise. If you can bluetooth, he hears a cell phone call right thru his hearing aid.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-husband-wont-wear-his-hearing-aids-498282.htm
I had a similar issue with my hubby not hearing me. He finally saw an Ear, Nose, & Throat doctor and it turned out the wax in his ears had harden like cement. In the mean time, I was getting so frustrated at speaking loudly that I was actually yelling, and I hated that, so I can understand what you are going through.
You must also consider that his extreme stubbornness might now be dementia and it has nothing to do with the comfort or perceived social stigma of hearing aids but rather his loss of reason and logic. In this case you will need to do the same to get him to wear them but just go get the hearing aids and put them in his ears. In no way should you be having to write down things or yell your conversation to him. Do you never go out in public together or with friends? I told my Mom I'm absolutely not going to yell things to her in public or in front of others. She lives next door to me so every day when I walk in her house and she not only doesn't have her HA in, she is blasting the tv and thinks I can hear her so I walk right past her to get them and put them in and then will respond to her.
Maybe the HA buzz in his ears and make an uncomfortable sensation, or does he have numbness or neuropathy in his fingertips that make it difficult to insert them? Please get him to tell you any and all reasons for not wearing them. If not, then he likely has a cognitive issue.