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Hello! My mom is 89 and has always been pretty good physically and mentally. She has some memory problems at times but nothing that excessive or worrisome.
For two days now, she's been confused. This morning, she was asleep in the living room chair. I woke up her up (it was 8 AM) and she was really out of it, which I guess could be normal if she was in deep sleep. She asked me who the kid was that was there earlier (there was no kid) and said he was watching TV but must have left for school.
She was convinced it was 5 PM and not 8 AM when we left to get breakfast. At 11 AM, she was sound asleep in her chair, so she woke up and of course was confused. She said she was going to get up and get dressed but earlier she said she had already had her shower. Two hours later, she's in the shower.
Now, she said to me "How's the family?" I said, "what family" and she said "my brothers and sisters". I told her they had all passed and she seemed surprised. I asked her why she was asking about family members that she knows are deceased and she said "I know they are dead. I just say things just to get you riled up." Then she said, she never asked about her dead relatives.
She refuses to go to the doctor and I'm trying to get her to take a UTI test but she won't.
I have no idea what is going on with her. I said I'd call the ambulance but she says she will refuse to let them in as her mind is sound and all my questions I'm asking her are making her "lose her mind."
What is going on here?

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Adding that I just asked her where her glasses were and she said they are around somewhere. Then she said "there's so many people in and out of here." Which isn't true. No one but me is in and out of there. She said "they" were there before she got her shower.

Also, she has lost a good amount of eyesight as she has cataracts and glaucoma and refuses to do anything about it.

I'm going to the drugstore to get some OTC UTI treatment and hopefully she will take that and some B-12. I gave her a Drip Drop in water the past 3 days as I think she's dehydrated as she loves coffee.
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TrishaAlvis Mar 10, 2026
I am part of a dementia friendly group here in Illinois. They say if you know one person with dementia, you know one person with dementia! EVERY case/person experiences things differently, but I do know that Lewy Body Dementia is characterized by fluctuating cognition, detailed visual hallucinations, REM sleep behavior disorder, and motor symptoms similar to Parkinson's disease. There are many new tests to help determine what exactly might be going on. I am at the beginning of this journey with my 83 year old Momma. She attends the DF group with me. Look up Dementia Friendly Groups in your area, they are Nationwide. Truly a safe space to learn and care for our Dementia folks. Knowledge is power. I wish you THE very best of luck navigating this journey. God bless you both.
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You already know that something is going on .
It could be a UTI or dementia.
It could also be other things , pneumonia , dehydration , sepsis , a vitamin deficiency.
Alot of things can cause confusion in the elderly .
That being said on again off again confusion with hallucinations ( seeing people who aren’t there) is the hallmark for Lewy Body dementia .
When she claimed she only asked you about dead relatives to rile you up , that was her way of covering up what is going on. She’s having memory problems and confabulation .
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waytomisery Mar 4, 2026
Mom could actually have more than one thing going on. A UTI, dehydration etc or any other sudden issues can make dementia symptoms more noticeable.
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You can try taking Mom to an Urgent Care in your area to get a UTI test. Not a long wait (like an ER) and is much more personal. You end up there and out within an hour. All her extra sleeping sounds like fatigue from a UTI.

THERE IS NO OTC ANTIBIOTIC for a UTI. She's being childish by not simply peeing in a cup at an Urgent Care! They can RX her antibiotics and get her started. UTIs in the elderly are serious. Talking all her gibberish/hallucinations could also be a possible mini stroke.

Tell her if she won't go, you are calling 911. Her hallucinations (talking about the young boy) is upsetting, and yes, she has you all riled up!! Her attitude sucks.
Put your foot down. Ask her if she wants to move into a HOME next, you aren't playing games.
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Reply to Dawn88
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Coffee is a diuretic.
There is no OTC treatment for UTIs. Cranberry pills don't work.
You can buy test strips for urine to test for a UTI
Untreated glaucoma will lead to blindness, and so will cataracts

I would tell mother you're calling 911 and if she refuses to go with the EMTs, you're placing her in a nursing home. Tell the EMTs (privately) you think she may have had a stroke due to sudden outrageous behavior and seeing dead relatives.

Good luck to you.
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itshard2026 Mar 4, 2026
Thank you! She wasn't actually seeing the dead relatives, just asking about them. Sorry for the confusion.
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As someone mentioned above, your mom might have had a stroke or a TIA. If you can get her to go to a physician or an emergency department, please do so.
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itshard2026 Mar 5, 2026
Thank you! She went to her PCP today and they thought she could have had a mini stroke so she went for a CT scan and bloodwork for thyroid, electrolytes, and Vitamin D. They did mention that she was probably dehydrated as well and all these things combined would definitely cause her sudden confusion. Even caffeine withdrawal! And stress. They sent another UTI for cultures as they suspect she might have a UTI, and said that even a little bacteria can cause the symptoms she has. She got a med for Afib as well. They did say that Afib can cause confusion due to low blood supply to the brain and then small clots being thrown off. Crazy how you can be fine one day and then bad the next. But thank you everyone for your help. At least I got her to get testing done. And we can get her on the road to recovery.
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Thank you! I called her doctor and they spoke with her but she says she's not having the typical symptoms of a UTI but admitted she never looks at her urine. She's fine now, very lucid. Her doctor will call me back. She's not happy with me but I just want her to get back to being her, which right now she is.
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Good luck. I hope that whatever is going on is reversible, treatable, or both.
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We ended up going to a walk in clinic. They found she has Afib. They then sent us to the ER for IV fluids and bloodwork. She seemed more like herself after she got her IV fluids. Her electrolyte levels are fine. They did a metabolic panel and her bloodwork was good. She did not have a UTI and her kidney function is good. But then on the way home she said she put her robotic vacuum in the car yesterday. We have to follow up with her PCP. The walk in clinic mentioned something about medication and/or blood thinners for the Afib.
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CDGChgo Mar 10, 2026
AFib blood thinners (high dosages) can result in anemia and internal bleeding (very documented side effects).
be sure to get her checked out for TIAs too!!!
I wish you had a geriatric specialist available to you. Perhaps her PCP can refer you?
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Did they check her blood sugar? If it spikes excessively high or drops excessively low, that can cause delirium and confusion.
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itshard2026 Mar 5, 2026
I thought the metabolic panel did that? Maybe not. I also wanted her tested for B12 but they said they don't do that. I'll follow up with her PCP today and request both of these get tested. Also, I stopped giving her coffee a couple of days ago as I want her to drink water instead. I'm wondering if caffeine withdrawal is going on as well.
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Here's the lab tests they did, and they said everything was normal:
CBC w/auto differential
Comprehensive metabolic panel
Magnesium
Urinalysis with reflex to microscopic and reflex to culture
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Do these episodes usually start around sundown?
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waytomisery Mar 5, 2026
Excellent question , although my sister with Lewy Body can go back and forth as far as how lucid she is at all times of the day . And some days she can be good all day or bad all day . She’s unpredictable .
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You're best off taking your mother to a neurologist for cognitive testing, now that a UTI has been ruled out. Afib does not cause mind altering changes.....it can cause strokes, which is why blood thinners are recommended. Withdrawal from caffeine isn't going to cause your mother to act as she is either. If she had an active infection going on, her white blood cell count wouldve been very high.

If you're able to get her to a naturopath, you're able to get her to a neurologist as well.

If dementia is going on with mom, know that it doesn't present itself exactly the same 24/7. Dementia has highs and lows, like anything else, good times and bad. An elder doesn't act unhinged constantly, or hallucinate all the time...just sometimes. Get mom tested so you know what you're dealing with. A full medical evaluation consists of body and mind, at 89.

Good luck to you.
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I'm glad you are getting her in to be seen. I agree you need to get her in for a dementia evaluation. If she tests negative, if you don't already have POA it might be a good time to get it. My dad had a hallucination once or twice years before he got sick. I don't think he ever had dementia as I sat with him through the tests. I still don't know what caused it. It did not scare him. He was always dehydrated most likely as he lived on coffee and Mt. Dew.
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She has a bacterial infection and is now on antibiotics for 7 days, twice a day. Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply, it is much appreciated.
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Some seniors have memory recall problems with short term and long term memories. Or they may be disoriented to person, place, and time, as well as location if it a different surrounding for them. You may also want to ask about any medications, any falls,infections, last time they saw a health care provider or professional in the medical field.
these are similar symptoms of an ischemic stroke, cardiovascular episode, dementia related event, cognitive decline or impairment, as well as many other medical conditions. A call to the physician or a referral or report from the doctor following the diagnosis would be helpful.
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Check for a UTI.
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Sounds like my 92 year old mother, who was diagnosed with dementia at age 90, Her symptoms were subtle and gradual at first, but have increased some. She's between mild and moderate dementia. Her symptoms primarily involve memory issues, hallucinations at night, confusion in early morning. She can be totally lucid all day, however. She also has had frequent UTIs. When her symptoms ramp up --when there is a sharp change in behavior--I take her to the ER. Several months ago she didn't know where she was (at home) or who I was and it turns out that she has a serious UTI. Now I watch her carefully for symptoms and have her urine checked at every medical appointment. This could be a combination of dementia and a UTI.
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You need to get her to ER or her PCP now. This was the way my mom acted when she had her first mini-stroke, but it could possibly be a UTI since it's been going on for a couple of days. UTI doesn't necessarily present all of the usual symptoms associated with it, in the elderly. I am more concerned about a TIA though. No medical degree, just speaking from experience
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Not saying it is but my dad was saying things like that and confused I. Hospital and when he came out
delirium
my dads was his medication and not enough water drunk
fir my dad it was the extracting osin killing tablets which all break down to morphine
we spoke with Dr
and he advised only take them in extreme pain otherwise stick to paracetamol
and increase water which was a challenge but sips throughout the day - in juice- in firm of melon sort of thing ( altho be wary of fruit juice in general as it contains natural sugar)
my father returned to normal
sometimes delirium can be permanent
sometimes not
I’d speak with her doctor about a review of the medication
ensure she’s eating or have dr prescribe contact meal replacement drinks ( small- less to drink)
be a use it could be string medication in an empty tummy
speak to her dr
increase her water
so nothing excessive or it will just run right thru her
and see if any improvement- but highlight to her dr
best.
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Look at this website:

https://alz-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/alz.13667

In part, it says:

A recent Mayo Clinic study published in Alzheimer's & Dementia:
The Journal of the Alzheimer's Association investigated lucid episodes in people living with later stages of dementia, providing insights into how these occurrences reveal themselves.

The findings showed that 75% of people having lucid episodes were reported to have Alzheimer’s Disease as opposed to other forms of dementia.
Researchers define lucid episodes as unexpected, spontaneous, meaningful and relevant communication from a person who is assumed to have permanently lost the capacity for coherent interactions, either verbally or through gestures and actions.

Family caregivers of people living with dementia were surveyed and asked about witnessing lucid episodes. Researchers then classified the episodes into types.

The study aimed to determine if there were distinct patterns or types of lucid episodes that could be used to understand why or when they happen.

Joan Griffin, Ph.D., lead author of the study: "We determined the types of episodes based on the circumstances surrounding the episode, the quality of the communication during the episode, how long it lasted, the level of cognition of the person living with dementia before the episode and the proximity to death," says Joan Griffin, Ph.D.,lead author of the study.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Review this website:

https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-dementia-patient-have-brief-periods-of-lucidity-Is-there-a-known-cause-for-when-and-how-this-happens

In part, it says:

Margalo Eden, MPH, MA, CMCDP, Former Memory Care Director

There could be several reasons for this, and they may depend upon:

The underlying cause of the dementia

The circumstances surrounding the “brief periods of lucidity”

What exactly you are defining as “lucidity”

Underlying causes: 

Alzheimer’s, for instance, tends to disrupt short-term memory first, and generally takes a while to interfere with long-term memory, especially memories from the person’s early life. This is particularly true for memories that are connected to strong emotions. If Alzheimer’s is the source of the person’s dementia, then the person may appear confused from moment to moment but appear completely lucid and be able to answer in vivid, accurate detail when asked about a memory from long ago.

If the dementia is caused by a vascular issue, then only a particular area of the brain may be affected - the one most closely associated with the blood vessel(s) in question. This can leave many other brain functions working quite well.
If medication is the source of the person’s dementia, then skipping a dose or having the prescribed dosage lowered may relieve the dementia symptoms.

These are only a few examples.

Circumstances: The circumstances surrounding the lucid moments may help explain them, as well. For instance, in the example above, the person with Alzheimer’s was asked about a long-ago memory. A change in environment can either exacerbate or relax confusion.

Something that triggers happy and familiar emotions may temporarily relax some dementia symptoms, while new, overstimulating surroundings may increase confusion. Hearing music, or seeing photos, or a classic car, or a home, or fairgrounds, or something else that evokes pleasant feelings and memories, can also temporarily transport a person with dementia to an earlier time when they weren’t confused, and all seems alive and orderly.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Key Reasons for Fluctuating Mental States:

Brain Function Fluctuations:

Damaged, diseased brains may not function consistently. Temporary, positive shifts in brain chemistry can cause short-lived, clear, coherent, and, rational moments.

Delirium (Medical Factors): 

Often, confusion, is actually delirium caused by infections (e.g., urinary tract), pain, medications, or, dehydration. Treating these issues can temporarily resolve the confusion.

Environmental Factors: 

Changes in surroundings, loud noises, or, high, stress, levels can trigger sudden, confusion.

Terminal Lucidity: 

Sometimes, individuals, experience a "burst" of clarity near the end of life, allowing them to communicate, clearly, for a few hours, or, days before, returning to a, state of confusion. Cleveland Clinic

Dementia patients experience alternating lucidity and confusion due to fluctuating brain functions, environmental changes (stress/fatigue), or underlying medical issues like infections. These moments, sometimes called paradoxical lucidity, occur when damaged brain networks temporarily stabilize, allowing, in some cases, a brief, final surge of mental clarity.  Wikipedia

Key Reasons for Fluctuating Mental States:

Brain Function Fluctuations: Damaged, diseased brains may not function consistently. Temporary, positive shifts in brain chemistry can cause short-lived, clear, coherent, and, rational moments.

Delirium (Medical Factors): Often, confusion, is actually delirium caused by infections (e.g., urinary tract), pain, medications, or, dehydration. Treating these issues can temporarily resolve the confusion.

Environmental Factors: Changes in surroundings, loud noises, or, high, stress, levels can trigger sudden, confusion.

Terminal Lucidity: Sometimes, individuals, experience a "burst" of clarity near the end of life, allowing them to communicate, clearly, for a few hours, or, days before, returning to a, state of confusion.  Cleveland Clinic

Why the Shift Back to Confusion?

Once the temporary, surge in brain activity passes or the, external, stressor is removed, the brain returns to its underlying, diseased state. These, episodes are often, unexpected, and, their, intensity can vary, from, a few, minutes to a few, hours. Cleveland Clinic

Gena / Touch Matters
 
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ItsHard gave an update below.

“She has a bacterial infection and is now on antibiotics for 7 days, twice a day. Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply, it is much appreciated.”

Thank you for letting us know.
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Con her into going for a ride to someplace she likes - take her to the doctor. She may be experiencing Transient Ischemic Attacks - TIAs - little strokes. TIAs can bring on dementia and or exacerbate it. It’s possible her blood pressure control is not what it should be. Does she know who you are when you awaken her? After 1/2 hour to 45 minutes? Take an accurate list of all her medications including all OTC, vitamins and nutritional supplements along with a written schedule of when she takes which.
these things may help doctor figure out if something untoward is happening with her.
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Pretty sure she has Alzheimer's. Have her draw a clock. This is one of the very first tests you can do at home, Take that drawing to the dr...the drs can do a blood test to determine which type. Get her an apt with a neurologist to get her on some meds.
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