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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She hates doctors but needs to go! The DMV is requiring her to go to a Dr regarding her driving ability. If she doesn't go, she loses her license, but regardless, she needs to be evaluated and get some help.
My feelings exactly Pam. If someone has reported her to the dmv don't even worry about getting her to a doc. Take the keys. And I'll step out a bit here:
This is one of the most common problems for caregivers, "My mom/dad may have dementia but won't go to the doctor." That's my Dad. Would not let even his trusted doc of 20 years test him for alz. I gave up fighting with him long ago. He may have alz, vascular dementia were not really sure but it doesn't really matter. He exibits all the classic signs of dementia and I and Mom, have learned how to deal with it.
And I read a lot about all the meds for alz and dementia but in my opinion they are of no more value than a hundred other boutique drugs being cranked out br big pharma companies. I'm sure some will disagree and if there is some miracle drug out there that works I will start sneaking it into my dads Cheerios tomorrow morning.
Kinda ranting there, but in many cases it doesn't seem worth it to have all these godawful battles and trauma with old folks to find out which of the many different types of dementia they have.
If she has Alzheimer's she should not be driving anyway. So let them revoke her license for the safety of innocent bystanders. DMV's don't send out those kinds of letters unless there have been reportable accidents, or someone has turned her in, such as a police officer or her own doctor.
Windyridge, even though it was critically important in our case to learn that my husband had Lewy Body Dementia, I kind of agree with you about resistant parents. We don't know what kind of dementia my mom has, but we deal with it as symptoms come up.
Five drugs have been developed, tested, and approved for use with dementia patients. None of them cures the disease. None of them changes the inexorable course of the disease. Each of them does some good in managing symptoms for some people. If you are in the lucky group they actually help, finding that out might be worthwhile.
Drug development has slowed down. The disappointing results of the first generation drugs is causing a different kind of research. Looking very hard at the nuts and bolts and proteins and genes of the disease will give drug companies more specific targets and, we hope, produce more effective results.
But here is why I still think it is worthwhile to have a person who shows symptoms evaluated: 1) There could be treatable causes for the symptoms. It may not be dementia. 2) It is good for the caregiver to know that these are symptoms beyond the control of the loved one (if that is true). Dementia symptoms are hard to accept even when you know it is dementia. Without a clear diagnosis the caregiver is in an even bigger world of hurt. 3) It provides the caregiver with a way to research what to expect, and how to deal with it. It may direct a caregiver to an appropriate and sanity-saving support group. 4) It is a wake up call that time is fleeting. A couple who had put off and put off a dream vacation got the stunning news that the husband had dementia. The first stop after the doctor's office was the travel agency. They booked that cruise. I think this is the best argument for an early diagnosis. By the time all the symptoms are there and it is obvious even to a layperson, many opportunities are already lost.
So, I urge people to get that loved one in for an evaluation. Get an "official" diagnosis of dementia, if that is the case, or get treatment for other causes of the symptoms. Even if you decide not to use drugs. or even if you try the drugs and they don't work, I think knowing where you stand is very useful (even if the person with the disease doesn't know the true diagnosis.)
I wouldn't worry about the person losing her license -- probably shouldn't be driving in any case -- but I do hope OP can arrange for a medical evaluation.
mslori2, how hard! I am 70. In my youth doctors always wanted you to strip and put on a paper gown. My only doctor who still does that is the technician who does the mammogram -- and I leave my pants on. I just had a mole removed from my shoulder and the dermatologist did it without removing my shirt. So things have probably changed A LOT since what you mother is remembering. Perhaps you could negotiate a deal with the doctor to assure your mom she won't have to strip. Certainly that may be necessary at a later date, and especially if there are symptoms to be checked more thoroughly. But I'll bet you could arrange for no stripping on the first visit! Would that help?
She has agreed to see a doctor now, only because the neighbor said it was a good idea (I"m the mean one!). Whatever it takes at this point. I will call the dr and explain why we are coming (she wants to see the neighbor's Dr ), and see what has to be done. I can't tell from this DMV paperwork if a physical has to be done, or just the questions asked and answered (not that she will truthfully answer them!)
Why not tell her the truth? The DMV is requiring it or she will lose her license. If she values her license she may very well be willing to go. If she refuses and the DMV revokes her license at least you can say "I tried to get you to see a doctor".
Thanks everyone. She knows the state is requiring her to see a Dr. We went for the DMV interview because I reported her :) I was hoping the state telling her to see a Dr would get her there (because I have no luck), but she doesn't seem to care if she loses her license some days, yet wants to drive other days...She has always hated doctors and is revolted by the thought of stripping down for one. Even at the DMV she had a meltdown everytime the guy mentioned the word 'doctor'. She fortunately is rarely driving anymore, and the temp. license she now has expires soon, so at that point we disable the car then sell it. Next problem being she should not be living alone, and I am getting burnt out doing all her shopping and running over there to give the dog her medicine but SHE can't remember to give it. Thanks for listening to me vent
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
This is one of the most common problems for caregivers, "My mom/dad may have dementia but won't go to the doctor." That's my Dad. Would not let even his trusted doc of 20 years test him for alz. I gave up fighting with him long ago. He may have alz, vascular dementia were not really sure but it doesn't really matter. He exibits all the classic signs of dementia and I and Mom, have learned how to deal with it.
And I read a lot about all the meds for alz and dementia but in my opinion they are of no more value than a hundred other boutique drugs being cranked out br big pharma companies. I'm sure some will disagree and if there is some miracle drug out there that works I will start sneaking it into my dads Cheerios tomorrow morning.
Kinda ranting there, but in many cases it doesn't seem worth it to have all these godawful battles and trauma with old folks to find out which of the many different types of dementia they have.
Five drugs have been developed, tested, and approved for use with dementia patients. None of them cures the disease. None of them changes the inexorable course of the disease. Each of them does some good in managing symptoms for some people. If you are in the lucky group they actually help, finding that out might be worthwhile.
Drug development has slowed down. The disappointing results of the first generation drugs is causing a different kind of research. Looking very hard at the nuts and bolts and proteins and genes of the disease will give drug companies more specific targets and, we hope, produce more effective results.
But here is why I still think it is worthwhile to have a person who shows symptoms evaluated:
1) There could be treatable causes for the symptoms. It may not be dementia.
2) It is good for the caregiver to know that these are symptoms beyond the control of the loved one (if that is true). Dementia symptoms are hard to accept even when you know it is dementia. Without a clear diagnosis the caregiver is in an even bigger world of hurt.
3) It provides the caregiver with a way to research what to expect, and how to deal with it. It may direct a caregiver to an appropriate and sanity-saving support group.
4) It is a wake up call that time is fleeting. A couple who had put off and put off a dream vacation got the stunning news that the husband had dementia. The first stop after the doctor's office was the travel agency. They booked that cruise. I think this is the best argument for an early diagnosis. By the time all the symptoms are there and it is obvious even to a layperson, many opportunities are already lost.
So, I urge people to get that loved one in for an evaluation. Get an "official" diagnosis of dementia, if that is the case, or get treatment for other causes of the symptoms. Even if you decide not to use drugs. or even if you try the drugs and they don't work, I think knowing where you stand is very useful (even if the person with the disease doesn't know the true diagnosis.)
I wouldn't worry about the person losing her license -- probably shouldn't be driving in any case -- but I do hope OP can arrange for a medical evaluation.
If she doesn't have a regular doctor, this would be a great time to switch to a geriatric doctor.
Once you get an appointment, send a note to the doctor listing (briefly) your concerns. What odd behaviors have you noticed that concern you?
Good luck!